His eyes smiled back at her. He gets it, she thought.

  “Where did you end up going to college?” she asked.

  “Berkeley…Berzerkeley. I majored in pre-med and hated it, spent more time getting high and throwing Frisbee in Tilden Park than going to class.”

  “Hey, I loved that park when we lived in Oakland. I used to hike to the lake and contemplate my life. Did you ever go over to Mt. Tamalpais?”

  “Of course. Sunrise on Mt. Tam was a life-changing experience.” He sipped his wine and looked out at the waves. She wondered what memories played across his mind.

  “So, how did you end up in Culinary School?”

  Jamie laid down his fork and took a sip of wine. “My first job in college was waiting tables at Heavenly Fare. The chef noticed my interest and brought me back in the kitchen as an assistant sous chef. I learned fast. By the time I graduated college, I was the executive chef, dating a cute waitress named Pam, and had no intention of ever doing anything else. CAA was the gold choice in culinary academies and a way to progress in my career. It was the logical next step.”

  Jamie refilled her wine class. The warm liquid left her floating. “It must be nice to have so much passion and know exactly the direction you want to go.”

  “It is. But it’s not always easy to go after it.” He paused, his eyes almost gray. “What do you dream of, Cathy?”

  His searching expression stopped her mid-bite.

  “I don’t dream anymore,” she said. “I just go with the flow.”

  He studied her. “Life is hard without a dream.”

  “Life is hard when it turns into a nightmare.”

  “I had my share of those too.”

  She looked at him. His life seemed so perfect. Wife, child, new career. “Seems you bounced back well.”

  His crooked grin seemed forced.

  “Looks can be deceiving.” His eyes searched her face. “You look happy.”

  “Touché,” she said. “A few years after moving up here, my mom moved to Arizona and left me the house. I finally figured out my life would be what I made of it. So I took the money we finally got from my dad’s insurance and leased the building in Guerneville. The health food store led to adding the lunch café. Then I expanded upstairs.”

  He laid his fork down and wiped his face with his napkin. “Very impressive.”

  “Thanks,” she said. “Some might say I bury myself in my work.”

  “Work can be healing.”

  Cathy couldn’t pull her gaze from his. There was no judgment there, only acceptance, and something deeper. “I hope you find the kind of work you want soon too.”

  Cathy looked down to her food. One lone shrimp rested in the bowl, but she was full. She stared out the window. The beach looked inviting. She longed to be on the sand. She looked at her watch. It was 1:15. Jamie had agreed to call Pam in the late afternoon, so they still had some time.

  “What do you say we take off our shoes and stick our toes in the sand?” he asked.

  “We’d have to skip dessert,” she said.

  Jamie thought a minute. “We can come back another time for that.”

  Cathy tossed her napkin on the table. “The best beach is just a short drive north.”

  “North it is,” Jamie said, leaving cash on the table for the waiter.

  They drove back up the windy coast, green rolling hills to their right, gorgeous shoreline with raging surf to their left.

  “I think we’ll go here to Salmon Creek beach,” Cathy said, pulling into the parking lot.

  They tumbled out of the car, threw off their shoes, and raced stumbling in the sand to the water. Jamie pulled off his T-shirt, revealing his smooth chest, then rolled up his pants. Hand-in-hand, as if they had done this together a thousand times before, they ran into the shallow water and plunged their feet in.

  “Brr,” Cathy said, hopping up and down in the freezing water. Jamie wrapped his arm around her shoulders to keep her warm. She snuggled in and could feel his breath on her hair.

  “Cathy,” he whispered.

  She looked up into those familiar eyes that had searched for her in her dreams. He stared longingly at her lips. She yearned for nothing more than a kiss. A child waving a stick ran by, kicking sand on their legs. The moment was broken and her feet were freezing. She ran to the warm sand.

  “Lightweight,” he said, walking out farther in the sea.

  “Don’t go too far, Jamie, there are riptides here.”

  For a second, she imagined a giant, rogue wave pulling him out and having to tell Pam, “The water just took him away.” Would she believe her?

  Would Cathy go in after him?

  In a heartbeat.

  Jamie came running out, goose bumps up his gorgeous arms, and sprayed a little icy water on her.

  “No, no,” she said, backing away.

  A wicked smile crossed his face, and he started toward her. Cathy ran down the beach, splashing in and out of the water while he followed close behind, threatening to throw her in. Out of breath, she turned and faced his bluff.

  “Do not throw me in or else.”

  “Or else what?” he said, inching closer.

  “I’ll leave you here and drive home myself!”

  He scanned the surroundings. “Not a bad place to be left. I could always climb up on one of the large boulders when the tide comes in.”

  Not a bad image.

  Rolling up in the tide, a large sand dollar bounced in the shallow wave. Cathy leaned over to pick it up. Perfect, not a crack.

  “Have a look at this,” she said, holding it up.

  He took it, turning it in his hand. “Never saw one that big before.”

  “For you then.” Cathy handed it to him.

  “Perhaps we could find one for Amber too?”

  “Great idea. You’re lucky to have such a sweet little girl.”

  He looked out to sea, and the mood shifted with the incoming wave. “I am, very lucky,” he said softly. “She’s everything to me.”

  They walked along the wet sand, heads down, hunting for shells to bring home. Everything? Cathy wondered. It was clear Jamie adored his daughter, but he didn’t talk much about Pam. Neither had she. For just this one day, they were playing hooky from life.

  The sun lit on her shoulders, and the incoming foamy tide crept up her bare ankles. She was glad she’d shaved her legs this morning. After finding another perfect specimen, they stopped to look back toward the car.

  The sun drifted down the horizon into some wispy clouds. They’d walked a long way. She looked at her watch. “2:45 p.m.,” she said. “Kinda late if you want to call Pam by four.”

  She saw disappointment in his eyes.

  “Guess we better get back,” he said, more like a question than a statement.

  It was quiet walk to the car except for the seagulls’ endless screeching overhead. A few dogs ran along the beach, catching Frisbees and driftwood sticks.

  She tossed him the keys. “Want to drive?”

  “You still trust me?” he said with a devilish grin.

  “So far,” she said, trying to keep a straight face.

  Jamie started the car. “Where to?”

  Cathy thought a moment. “Why don’t we take Coleman Valley Road back and stop in the town of Occidental. They have killer family Italian restaurants that make the best minestrone you ever tasted. We can bring some back for dinner later.”

  Jamie perked up. “Sounds good. I can call Pam from there and see how her mother is doing too.”

  A narrow one-lane road, Coleman Valley wound into the hills. They had to slow down even more when they crossed cattle grates. It crisscrossed through open-range farmlands and redwoods, grasslands, and oak groves all the while displaying a breathtaking view as far east as the eye could see.

  Jamie pulled the car to the side of the road and pointed out a mom and baby calf that had wandered away from the herd of cattle. They approached the car and looked at them like, “What are you two doing here?”

  “They’re cute,” Cathy said. She wished she’d brought a camera. “When you look into their eyes up close, you can see why I chose not to eat beef.”

  “Something to think about,” Jamie said. “I just hope they stay out of the road.”

  Cathy nodded. “The road is so curvy and remote, I would think most people would have the sense to go slow.”

  “You’d hope,” Jamie said.

  They pulled away and followed the road as it narrowed and the trees thickened into a canopy. After a few sharp turns, the old white church was prominently in sight through redwood forest as they entered the town of Occidental.

  Driving through felt like going back in time. Little gingerbread houses filled with shops, old-fashioned bakeries with hand-carved signs and cafés everywhere made this town a tempting place to visit.

  “What a cool place,” Jamie said. “Where do we get the soup?”

  His mind worked just like hers. “There are three Italian family restaurants to choose from,” Cathy said.

  “What’s your favorite?” he asked.

  “Negri’s is fantastic. Hot bread, amazing minestrone soup and salad: a feast.”

  Entering the restaurant, they admired the old family portraits covering the walls. This place had been in the Negri family for almost fifty years. After going over the menu, they put in an order for minestrone soup and sourdough bread. Both would reheat well later.

  While Jamie scouted for a phone booth, Cathy covered the bill since he’d paid for lunch. Bags of food in hand, she went off to find him. He was already out in the car, so she put the food in the lift back and joined him. Jamie’s hands gripped the steering wheel as he started the car.

  “Which way?” he said, speeding up the hill toward the stop sign.

  She gave him directions back to Forestville and wondered how the phone call went. Not well, it seemed. Perhaps there was a lot more to his marriage than met the eye.

  “Is everything okay with Pam’s mom?”

  Jamie nodded. “She’s fine. Dakota will be back late tonight. Pam and Amber will be coming home tomorrow morning after the traffic.”

  His expression was drawn, so Cathy didn’t ask anything else and just stared out the window.

  “Smells awesome,” Jamie finally said as he made the turn toward the river.

  “Wait until you taste it.”

  He turned on the radio and started humming along. He must be feeling better. She studied his profile. His shaggy hair spilled into his eyes and outlined his strong jaw. His T-shirt was back on. His skin had felt silky when she leaned against him. Cathy wished this day would never end. They still had the evening. She had a bottle of Merlot that would go well with the soup. Maybe they could take an evening walk along the river.

  What was she thinking? Could she even trust herself another night alone with him? Not with the way she was feeling.

  Jamie looked over. “You okay?”

  How did he know? Could he read her thoughts?

  “Of course,” she said.

  He shrugged. “You just seemed to stop breathing.”

  He was right. Her shoulders were tight, and a sense of panic was building. It would be better if they were not alone again in the house. She thought about where they might end up. The feelings were too strong. They crept in and blinded her to the reality of who this man was, and whom he belonged to. What could she say to him? I’m going out without you tonight? She thought of Tim. She could call him and suggest they all go somewhere together. Not that he would be the greatest chaperone, but at least they would be out in public.

  That was a better alternative.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Jamie put the food in the refrigerator and waited outside on the deck for Cathy to get out of the shower. The sand still lingered between his toes, but he was in no hurry to wash away the memories of this perfect day. It had been a long time since he completely relaxed and was able to be himself. He enjoyed being a dad and a husband, but his needs always seemed to come last. Or he let them.

  Jamie watched a lone white egret glide through the air toward the river. A walk sounded nice, but the minute they walked in the house, Cathy had called Tim, her store manager. They arranged to meet him at the Highland Dell to hear the band Queen Ida. He was looking forward to the evening, but would have been just as happy to stay home and sit on the deck with Cathy. It was much more than her beauty, which she certainly had. It was hard not to run his hands across her smooth skin or get lost in her pale green eyes. Everything else faded away when he was with her. It was probably for the best they were going out.

  The call with Pam had abruptly brought him back to everyday life. She was not happy he was an hour late calling her. Way past when she thought he should have called. It seemed to him that four o’clock fit the late afternoon she specified, but perhaps he should have called sooner. She was tense, and he felt for her having to deal with her mother. When they were first married, Jamie tried to help, but Pam and her mother were in constant conflict. He found it was best to stay out of it and give Pam plenty of space and support when she would take it.

  He could understand why Pam was upset being stuck with her mother and a four-year-old in a stressful situation while Jamie galloped on the beach with Cathy. She made it real clear that she expected him to take her there as soon as they got back. Of course he agreed, but he wished it hadn’t been put across as a demand.

  Patience, he told himself. That is how he got through.

  “The shower’s all yours,” he heard Cathy yell from the hall. He waited a moment so he would not catch her running from the bathroom in a towel, then took his turn. He watched the warm water send the sand down the drain and felt his heart drop. It was like watching the day wash away.

  That’s crazy, he thought. Sing, you idiot, before you go getting depressed. He sang James Taylor’s hit, “You’ve Got a Friend.” When he got to the lyrics about calling out someone’s name, it was Cathy’s he wanted to call.

  ***

  Clean and dry, Jamie put on some jeans and a blue-and-red plaid button-down shirt. He rolled up the sleeves and slipped on his Birkenstocks before walking into the living room. Cathy stood in the kitchen arranging some flowers in a vase. She turned and smiled. His breath caught. Her flowing auburn hair cascaded down her shoulders across a hot pink tank top exposing her bronze skin. She twirled, and her long skirt rose in the air circling her ankles.

  “My favorite dancing skirt,” she said as her translucent gauze skirt rose in the air.

  “Gorgeous, my dear,” he said playfully.

  “You clean up pretty well too,” she said. “Let’s go. Tim awaits us. You’re going to love him,” she said as they walked to the car. “He’s fun to talk to and he always keeps me laughing.”

  They parked in the lot across the street under the redwoods. As they walked up the stairs, they saw Tim waiting for them near the door, wearing tight jeans and an even tighter see-through T-shirt.

  “Over here, guys,” he waved.

  Tim gave Jamie a look up and down. Clearly his interest was men. Jamie was used to roaming male eyes from living in the Bay area, and it was no big deal to him.

  Cathy gave Tim a big hug and introduced them. Jamie put out his hand but Tim hugged him instead.

  “Hey, man,” Tim said. “We’re all friends here.”

  They walked through the large entry. There was a towering high-beam ceiling, wood walls, and wood floors. They took a seat close to the dance floor and stage, where the band was setting up.

  “Drinks?” Tim asked. “I’m buying.”

  Cathy ordered a glass of wine and Jamie said ditto.

  A stunning black woman in a bright red dress took the mic.

  “Queen Ida is here!” she said, raising her hand in the air before starting to sing. Her band played a combo of R&B and Cajun music while she called out for everyone to dance. The dance floor filled, and the noise level forced limited conversation.

  Tim returned with the drinks and set them on the table. “Hey, you two, what are you doing in your chairs?”

  He took each of their hands and pulled them onto the dance floor. Jamie swayed with the music and tried to let loose like Tim was doing. Cathy was a sight to watch, smiling, shaking her hips, twirling over the floor. Tim winked at him and gently pushed him toward Cathy before disappearing into the crowd.

  Jamie admired how free and graceful her movements were. One song ended and another slow song began. He held Cathy close as they danced, closed his eyes as they moved together in perfect sync. Every fiber of his body was aware of her. She rested her head on his shoulder and the sweet scent of chamomile lingered in her hair.

  Suddenly the band broke into the song “We Will Rock You” by Queen. People flooded the floor. Sweat broke out on the back of his neck, and Jamie wanted to unbutton and discard his shirt like many of the other guys were doing. He could see Cathy’s face was flushed from the heat. They headed toward the back of the room near the windows for air.

  She fanned her face and leaned over, yelling into his ear. “Let’s go get some air.”

  Jamie nodded and followed her outside on the deck overlooking the river.

  “Whew,” he said, “I can’t remember the last time I danced like that.”

  Cathy laughed. “Tim drags me out dancing every so often. He insists it will enhance my social life.”

  “Does it?” he asked. He imagined her dancing with other men and did not like how his stomach twisted.

  “Not really,” she said. “Most of the time he takes me to gay bars because they have the best music.”

  The silent river flowed beneath and a starry sky spread over them endlessly. He rested his hand in hers.

  “Found you,” Tim said, throwing open the doors and joining them on the deck.

  Cathy released his hand and turned. “We’re not the one who went off carousing,” she said. “Did you meet anyone interesting?”

  Tim frowned. “Not really. I think I’ll head over to Fife’s. Wanna come?”