Perfect guests. Cathy retook her seat and sipped her lukewarm coffee “Thanks, Pam. I really need to get into my shop today. We have lunch prep to do in the café and the two guestrooms upstairs are booked for the weekend. Perhaps we can hang out later.”

  “Sure thing,” Pam said. “Sounds like the place is doing well for you. What’s the name again?”

  “Health & Hearth. Sonoma County is the perfect place for anything health-related, and tourists flock in, so yes, especially during the season. Winter can be slow, but the locals support us well.”

  Cathy stared at Jamie as he washed the dishes in her kitchen. She looked back to Pam. Pam was smiling like the Cheshire cat; she knew she had a good thing going with Jamie.

  “He’s so helpful,” Pam said. She gathered the dirty dishes and joined Jamie in the kitchen. Cathy heard her talking to him about the dating idea. Whatever. David was basically an okay guy. She headed for the shower to get ready for work.

  ****

  Cathy parked and walked over to see how the new display of natural shampoos and conditioners looked in her front shop window. Her shop manager, Tim, in his usual creative style, had laid pine branches along the window and a basket of peonies in the foreground, lining the rest of the shelf with rainwater, honey, and oatmeal hair products. It looked inviting. She opened the glass entry door and the smell of leeks and garlic permeated the shop. Sunshine flooded the store, radiating light through the display windows. Everything was humming along.

  Her café manager, Jill, in her flowery apron over denim cut-offs and a T-shirt, was busy in the back kitchen preparing fresh soup for the lunch rush.

  “Morning,” Cathy said. She waved at Tim behind the cash register.

  “Mornin’,” Tim said as he counted out cash. His tight sleeveless orange T-shirt really set off his tanned, muscular arms.

  “Looking good.” She shot him a wink.

  He preened a bit. A cute guy must be coming in today. The River was a haven for Tim in the summer. Gay guys were everywhere.

  Cathy wandered past the bulk products into the eating area and behind the counter.

  “You’re in early. What’s up, kiddo?” Jill asked.

  Cathy peered into the simmering pot. The herbal scent made her taste buds perk up. She couldn’t be hungry, not after that big breakfast.

  “Everything is fine,” Cathy said. “I just thought I would check in and make sure the rooms are ready for the guests tomorrow.”

  Jill’s dark pupils, matching her raven-colored locks, looked right through Cathy.

  “And?”

  Jill never beat around the bush.

  “Okay,” Cathy said. “And I have company at the house, remember?”

  Jill suppressed a smile and gave her a crushing hug. “Russian peasant stock,” Jill always said when Cathy mentioned her big-boned frame and enviable energy. Whenever Jill brought her family over for dinner, with her two young children running after the cats and raising the noise level several decibels, she always knew just when to leave by looking at Cathy’s face.

  Jill’s warm hug never failed to make all worries go away.

  “You know me too well,” Cathy said. “How did I get so lucky to have you manage this place?”

  “Good karma.” Jill tightened her apron and started grating carrots and beets for the rainbow salad. “My family will never forget how you let us stay in the rooms upstairs until we could get on our feet again last year.”

  “That was nothing.”

  “Maybe to you it was, but to Dan and me, it meant everything,” Jill said. “And by the way, I made up the rooms upstairs for the weekend guests.”

  “You’re great.”

  A customer entered, and Cathy decided to scoot upstairs and check out the guestrooms. The River View room in front was bathed in light coming through the dual bay windows. Its four-poster bed was made up with a white chenille bedspread, and an antique patchwork quilt was folded at the foot. Pink and purple hydrangeas set off the pale yellow walls. Perfect.

  Next, she inspected the back room. The all-white cleanness of the attic bedroom with the low ceiling pulled the stress from her shoulders: white chenille spread, ash floors, lace curtains, and the milk-glass vase with artfully arranged lavender and thyme. It was a room for romance. Her thoughts went to Jamie. Goosebumps raced down her arms and legs. The way his hand had felt in hers. There was something about the way he looked at her. She’d never felt that way before.

  Cathy peered out the open window, inhaling the summer scent of pine. Perhaps she should sleep here a few nights if her houseguests stayed a long time? How long was too long? This is ridiculous, she told herself. She had a home to go to. A garden to tend. Nice people waiting there for her. Yes, she was attracted to Jamie, but he was married to Pam.

  End of story.

  Brian’s throaty laugh boomed all the way up the stairs. Cathy hoped her kitchen helper hadn’t come in stoned today. He was a great kid and helped them out a lot in the summer, but he did have a few habits that didn’t always mix well with work. Wasn’t he supposed to be off today? She headed downstairs to see what was up.

  She spotted Brian talking to Jill. He was in his usual attire of jeans with holes and a button-up shirt, untucked. His long, dark hair was in a ponytail down his back.

  “Hi, Brian, are you scheduled for today?” she asked.

  “Nope. But I can stay if you need me. I just stopped by to remind everyone I leave next Tuesday for a family backpacking trip.”

  Right. Now she remembered. “Would you mind working some extra hours starting tomorrow until you leave? I have company visiting and would like to spend some time showing them around.”

  “Sure thing, boss. I could use the extra hours.”

  Jill ladled up some of the soup and offered them all a taste. “Sounds like a fun trip,” she said.

  Brian shrugged. “My parents are a bit uptight, but in Montana maybe they’ll chill out.”

  Cathy considered whether Jill would have enough help bussing and washing dishes if both she and Brian were gone at the same time. Tim could handle the store, but that kept him pretty busy. “How long will you be gone?” she asked.

  He scratched his beard. “Ah, about a week.” He turned to Cathy. “Mind if I scarf down a veggie burger before I go?”

  “Sure, go ahead,” she said.

  “Cathy. You take your time off, and don’t worry,” Jill said. “Tim and I can handle everything. When was the last time you had a vacation?”

  “Been a while. Thanks, Jill.” Cathy decided to go home and visit with her guests. Jamie would probably have made lunch, so she didn’t need to think about that. Jamie…

  She wasn’t used to a man haunting her thoughts.

  Jill walked up to her and pointed toward the door. “Go ahead and take off. I can handle it from here.”

  “That’s an understatement,” Cathy said, waving goodbye. “See you tomorrow.”

  ****

  Cathy turned the car through the picket gate into the drive. Amber was playing in the yard, sunlight bouncing off her blonde curls. Jamie tossed her a ball, and she chased it into the trees. Cathy could see the pure joy in the moment they shared. Longing crept up and forced her to heed its voice. She wanted to run in the grassy yard with them. Without thinking, she joined them in their game.

  Jamie threw her the ball. Amber squealed as she chased Cathy across the lawn.

  “Toss it to me,” Amber said.

  Cathy threw the ball. “Let’s hide behind a redwood so your dad won’t find us.”

  Amber squeezed Cathy’s hand and put her finger to her mouth. “Quiet,” she whispered.

  “Where are you two?” Jamie said in a bear-like voice. “I’m going to find you.”

  He pounced on them behind the tree, and they both screamed. Amber jumped up in delight and ran off with the ball. Jamie winked at Cathy, and then ran after his little girl.

  Cathy’s knees were weak. What was happening? Time slowed when she was around Jamie. It was as if just the two of them were suspended in the moment. She shook her head to break the spell, then waved at them and started back to the house.

  “Leaving so soon?” he said, now at her side.

  She stared at the ground and willed her body not to react to his closeness. Her attention focused on a furry black and orange caterpillar making its way across the grass to the bushes. If she left it there, it would surely be trampled. She gently picked the little guy up in her hand and placed it safely in the lavender bushes. Cathy pinched a blossom and squeezed it between her fingers, inhaling its fragrant scent.

  As Cathy turned around, her eyes met his. He looked right through her, through her walls and disguises. “My favorite herb,” she stammered, holding up the stalk of lavender.

  “Mine too,” Jamie said. He reached across her and snipped off a fresh blossom, crushing it between his long fingers before holding it up to savor.

  “Can I smell too?” Amber held her nose up to the sky, and Jamie placed the sprig under it. She tilted her head sideways. “I think I like it,” she said, before scampering off.

  Jamie turned to follow Amber as they rushed to see who would get the ball first. For a moment, Cathy was very young, running free with her daddy, not a care in the world. A rare day in her childhood.

  Cathy turned and hurried up the deck stairs into the house. It smelled of herbs and garlic. Pam was grilling some chicken on the old country stove.

  “Welcome back,” she said. “Everything all right at the shop?”

  “Fine. I just needed to check in.” Cathy walked over to take a look. Large chunks of chicken surrounded by onions and colorful vegetables were sizzling with fresh herbs in the pan. A large bowl of salad greens waited on the counter for the chicken to be added.

  Pam pulled silverware from the drawer. “Jamie put the salad together from your garden. Hope you don’t mind. He made fresh dressing too.”

  “Of course not. I have plenty of extra produce every year. Help yourself.” Cathy noticed her oak table was set with woven placemats and stoneware. It was like elves were in her house. She was the princess who came home to find everything done and waiting for her.

  “He’s good about that stuff.” Pam tossed the chicken into the salad, dressed it, and brought it to the table. “Maybe you and I can take a walk after lunch, catch up some?”

  “Sounds fun,” Cathy said. For a moment a twinge of guilt shot up her spine. She longed to be back in the yard playing with them again. Cathy plopped into a seat at the table. She didn’t want to think about what she wanted. The attraction would pass.

  Pam yelled outside to Jamie and Amber to come in for lunch, and they came flying through the door. The cats snoozing on the back of the sofa hunched up, hair high.

  “Go wash your hands, Amber,” Pam said. “And you too, Jamie.”

  Cathy looked down at her hands still scented with lavender. She would not wash hers.

  “Lunch is exquisite,” Cathy said, swallowing another savory mouthful. “I wish Jamie would cook for my shop, but of course he’s out of our league for a local lunch spot.”

  Pam went on and on about how famous a chef Jamie would be someday. Cathy noticed the look on Jamie’s face did not show the same enthusiasm.

  “Pam, don’t forget I have that interview at Wine and Sea tomorrow.” Jamie’s smooth voice brought her focus back to the table.

  Cathy stuffed a large chunk of avocado from the salad into her mouth and listened to them talk about the swank restaurant in Sonoma.

  “What do you think he should wear?” Pam asked.

  Cathy really didn’t know what to say, but both of them were looking at her like she was the expert of all Sonoma County.

  “Nice slacks, button-down shirt maybe?” Cathy looked at Jamie. With his tight, trim body, he would look good in anything. His eyes caught hers and both of them looked away.

  Cathy stood up to clear the table, but Jamie jumped up and told her to go on with her day. Cathy couldn’t think of the last time any man acted like that with her. Certainly not her ex-husband, Todd. There was nothing she could do right in that marriage. Her dreams had evaporated like the illusion they were. Happy endings were not part of that story. Nor were happy beginnings. She loved it here with her café and her friends. Loneliness seeped through once in a while, but her work pushed those thoughts away.

  Pam stood and announced, “Cathy and I are going for a walk. See you two later.”

  They threw colorful beach towels over their shoulders. Cathy rolled up her jeans. They walked down the dirt road bordering the apple orchards behind her house and down to River Road.

  “Now,” Cathy said when there was a slowing of cars on the highway. They jogged across the road and took the path heading down to the water. The sun was warm when they left the shaded path, and she wished they had brought their swimsuits.

  Pam ran onto the sand to the river’s edge, slipped off her flip-flops, hiked up her gauzy skirt, and ran in.

  “Cold,” she laughed and waded in deeper. Her hair curled at her shoulders. She looked like her old self now, playful and ready for anything.

  Cathy kicked off her sandals, dropped the towels on the sand, and joined her. Pam splashed her and tried to run. Her tank top was wet now, but the coolness felt wonderful. She gathered handfuls of water and dumped them over her and Pam’s shoulders until they were both soaked and laughing heavily.

  “Let’s go dry off,” Cathy said, heading to shore.

  Having Pam right here in front of her flooded Cathy’s mind with memories. Pam’s innocent brown eyes always looked like they needed something. Boys who wanted to rescue Pam, the fair damsel, were never in short supply. Even Cathy’s dad said they needed to treat the lost little girl extra special after all she’d been through. Cathy used to alternate between wanting to take care of Pam and wishing her own dad would take care of her that way.

  The last time Cathy had seen Pam’s eyes was not long after they’d both finished high school. They’d been filled with sympathy. Sympathy for Cathy because her husband had left her after a few short months of marriage. Pam knew all about abandonment. After losing her father, her family home, and her husband and their friends, Cathy knew all about abandonment too.

  The old VW Pam drove was packed to leave for community college in Santa Barbara. She’d driven to the tiny apartment Cathy had moved into with Todd when they were first married, to say good-bye. Pam always was a dreamer, had expected Prince Charming to arrive any day and take her to a castle. When no white horse appeared, Pam decided college was the perfect place to meet someone.

  “Oh, Cathy,” Pam had said. “How awful for you things didn’t work out with Todd. But I know you’ll meet someone else someday. We both will. Rich ones!”

  By then, Cathy didn’t believe in happily ever after anymore. Not for herself at least. Love could not be trusted. Bitterness crept in to protect her vulnerable heart. Whatever it took, she did not want to be hurt like that again.

  Cathy had cried on Pam’s shoulder, and then together they’d finished packing her belongings to move to the Russian River. Caroline, the other musketeer in their high school threesome, was traveling in Europe with her fancy new husband at the time. No one else came to say good-bye. Not one of her many so-called friends, who now spent their time hanging out with Todd and his gang.

  “Looks like you’ve come a long way since we waved good-bye at your old apartment,” Pam said. “I hope you’re not too lonely way out here by yourself.”

  Cathy shrugged. “I’m fine, busy, happy.” Loneliness was the price she paid. There were worse things.

  Pam lay back on the towel and closed her eyes. “I’m living happily ever after, just like I always dreamed of.”

  Pam meant well, but sometimes Cathy wondered if Pam would ever grow up. Pam wasn’t the smartest girl in class, but she went after what she wanted. And really, what had Cathy’s 3.9 GPA done for her? When Pam was in college, she majored in art and boys, waitressing on the side. Until she met Jamie and quit school. After that, Cathy hadn’t heard much. Just how ecstatically happy she was married to Jamie. Then a baby announcement four years ago, and a note about being one little happy family. There were a few Christmas cards exchanged with scribbled notes, but that was all.

  “It is so good to see you,” Pam said, towel-drying her hair. She threw her arms around Cathy in a tight hug. Droplets of water flew off her blonde curls and onto her wet T-shirt. She tossed her towel down, fell back on to it, and closed her eyes. “I could lie here forever.”

  Cathy sat beside her. After long days of work, it felt good to stop.

  Pam raised her head. “Remember when the three of us smoked pot and tried to take a rowboat down the Russian River that summer before senior year?”

  Cathy grinned. “We rowed in circles until we laughed so hard we fell out of the boat. I still wonder where Caroline got that strong stuff. In the 60s, all the pot was good.”

  “Caroline always did have the best of everything.” Pam’s words were tinged with envy.

  “If you want,” Cathy said, “I still own a rowboat.”

  “I don’t smoke any more now, with Amber and all. But remember that time we went into San Francisco to the old Fillmore to see Jefferson Airplane? There was a lot more than pot floating around back then.”

  Cathy remembered all right. Grace Slick had been all in black. All the people dancing and crushing in on each other, the colors and loud music had almost been too much for her. But not for Pam; she’d been making out with some cute guy in a corner most of the night. “You know I still have the old shirt I wore with the bell sleeves back then,” she said.

  “Really? And it still fits?” Pam patted her stomach. “I remember when I wore bikinis.” Her eyes were on Cathy. “Unfair, Cathy. Your body still looks like it did in high school. You and Caroline don’t look any different.”

  “Neither of us has had a child,” Cathy reminded her.

  Pam shrugged.

  “And a lot of good it does me now,” Cathy continued. “The good men seem to evaporate with each year I get closer to thirty.”

  “The guys always loved you, Cathy.”