She didn’t want to, but she knew she needed to share her concerns with him. Keeping things inside never worked. She may not like the response Scott had for her, but all this worry was going to eat away at her if she didn’t talk to him.

  Holly rose from the couch and walked to the kitchen. What she had to say, she didn’t want Madeline to hear. He followed her and leaned against the counter with his arms folded, waiting for her to speak.

  “What would happen to us if Melissa showed up on your doorstep tomorrow?”

  The words hung in the air between them. Holly didn’t want to look at Scott, fearing what she might see. She felt her lip quivering, and she took a deep breath, wishing she wouldn’t have asked, but knowing she had to.

  He reached out and stroked her cheek. Feeling his gaze on her, she slowly lifted her eyes.

  “I love you, Holly.”

  For a moment she couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t speak. He said it again, emphasizing each word.

  “I...love...you.”

  Now she couldn’t hold back a smile. “Is that your way of avoiding the question?”

  “I’m not avoiding it. That’s the answer. I love you.”

  How those three little words could take her heart by storm she had no idea. She wanted to fall into his arms and savor the joy of his declaration, but she didn’t understand.

  “I’ve hesitated to tell you that because I didn’t want to put any pressure on you. But it’s been the truth for quite some time.”

  He pulled her into his chest and held her. “Whatever comes our way from now on, Holly, we will go through together. My heart belongs to you now. Everything else is secondary.”

  Holly stepped back. She wanted to accept Scott’s words, but she knew there was someone else to consider. “Is that fair to Madeline? To put our desires above hers? To deny her the chance to have her parents back together if her mother became willing to be a part of her life again?”

  “We can’t take the responsibility for Melissa’s choices,” Scott said calmly. “If she were to come back, I wouldn’t keep her from Madeline as long as I knew Maddy was safe and Melissa could treat the situation appropriately. But I can’t sit around waiting for something that might never happen. I waited for a long time, hoping she would come back. But I have to move on, for my sake and my little girl’s. I still care for Melissa, and I pray for her, but I love you, Holly. Nothing and no one is going to change that. Not even Melissa.”

  A peace settled over her heart, and she enjoyed the warmth and security of Scott’s embrace. And a reality became very clear to her. God hadn’t just brought her a good man; He had brought her someone that really needed her too. Someone that had been praying for Melissa to come back or for someone else if she didn’t. Melissa wasn’t willing to be an answer to those prayers, but she was. Scott was such a gift, and the words Josie had spoken to her almost two years ago came flooding back into her thoughts.

  Ask God to bless you, Holly, and He will.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  In the coming weeks Ashley kept Holly updated on her rekindled relationship with Austin’s father. They had decided to take things slow and make sure this is what they both wanted before making any plans for the future. Things appeared to be going well. Ashley’s eyes sparkled a bit more each time Holly saw her. She had high hopes for her friend’s future.

  Tamara and Ty both returned home for Spring Break, and Holly spent Monday and Tuesday with her cousin, searching for the perfect wedding dress. They went back to the boutique in town, only to discover the one she had liked there had been purchased and the owner didn’t have any more in stock. She said she would be more than happy to order another one but only if Tamara paid in advance.

  Not being certain that was the one she wanted, Tamara decided to wait and see if she found something else. Holly felt relieved when Tamara finally found “the one” late Tuesday afternoon. They were all beginning to look the same to Holly, but from the moment her cousin pulled the white satin gown into place, both of their eyes lit up. Everything about the dress complimented Tamara: her long lines, her auburn tinted hair, and her lovely eyes. Tamara bought the dress on the spot.

  The following day the entire family left to spend a few days together in Sunriver. Some friends of Jack and Dana’s had a vacation home in the resort town and were letting them use it for a few days. Besides her aunt and uncle and two cousins, Brian also went. Scott hadn’t been able to get all three weekdays off but planned to join them late Thursday night and be there on Friday and Saturday along with Madeline.

  Holly enjoyed the getaway from the moment they stepped into the spacious cabin. A large living room, a full-sized kitchen, and small dining area took up the main floor along with a bathroom and a large bedroom that Jack and Dana claimed.

  Three other bedrooms were upstairs. Ty took the smallest one, Brain and Scott would room together in a slightly larger one with two twin beds, and Tamara, Holly, and Sarah took the largest one with two full-sized beds.

  A full list of activities were available in and around the resort. Swimming, biking, golfing, shopping, and tennis were among them. Holly wanted to swim some and go shopping with Tamara, but mostly she wanted to relax--not an easy thing to do with a three-year-old to entertain.

  Holly took Sarah swimming first and then to the playground. She had her lay down for a nap after lunch. She and Aunt Dana spent most of the afternoon at the cabin reading, chatting, and deciding what to make for dinner that night. The following morning Tamara and Holly went shopping in the morning while Aunt Dana and Uncle Jack took Sarah swimming. Brian went bike riding with Ty.

  Scott arrived late Thursday night. Tamara, Brian, and Ty had gone to see a movie and weren’t back yet. Uncle Jack, Aunt Dana, and Sarah were already in bed. Scott carried in a sleepy-eyed Madeline. Holly showed Scott his room and said Madeline could sleep with Sarah.

  Once Madeline was tucked in, Holly and Scott went back downstairs to sit and talk. Holly got them both something to drink and a few snack items to munch on.

  “Hey, I don’t think I got a kiss yet,” Scott said, pulling her close when she sat down beside him.

  “Mmmm, you’re going to have to do something about that.”

  Scott tapped the end of her nose. “Yes, I am.”

  Ever so tenderly he kissed her. “I’ve missed you this week,” he said, kissing her some more. He touched the side of her face, ran his fingers through her hair, and rubbed her back. When he finally drew himself away from her, she felt breathless.

  “I missed you too,” she managed.

  He smiled. “What is there to do for fun around here?”

  She laughed. “You mean besides that?”

  “Besides that.”

  She told him what they’d been doing so far. “I think Uncle Jack and Brian are going golfing tomorrow. Are you into golf?”

  “Not really,” he said. “But that might be fun to try. I think my dad and Jack used to go together a lot. Maybe I’ll go along and let Jack tell me about some of those times.”

  “Did you and your dad get along?” Holly asked. Scott hadn’t talked about him much with her.

  “I loved my dad,” he said. “I wish I would have gotten to know him better though. The best memories I have of him were when we worked on cars together and went fishing. Although I stopped going to the river with him when I got older.”

  “I’m sorry he died.”

  “Me too,” Scott replied, taking her hand and holding it close to his heart. “But you know, sometimes I wonder if I would have made the decisions I did if he hadn’t.”

  “What decisions?”

  “To stop working so much and spend more time with Madeline; to come back to God; to move back to Hood River and be near my mom.”

  “I heard Uncle Jack say once that your dad prayed for you all the time. Do you think taking him away was a part of God’s answer?”

  “I suppose so.”

  Scott looked sobered by that thought. Holly hoped she hadn’t said too much. She didn’t want Scott to be blaming himself for his dad’s death.

  “I’m sorry, that wasn’t a very good thing to say.”

  He looked surprised. A smile slowly spread across his face, and he pulled her close. “That was a perfect thing to say, sweetheart. That’s one of the things that I love about you. You always speak from your heart.”

  Holly leaned against his chest and enjoyed the comfort of his arms wrapped around her. Don’t ever let go of me, Scott. Don’t ever let go of my heart.

  The remainder of the vacation went well, and Holly felt sad when the time came to pack up and drive home. Tamara and Brian left for school the following day, and her aunt and uncle drove Ty to the airport in Portland. Scott came over to the house in the evening, and she cried on his shoulder, admitting how much she missed Tamara.

  “I’m really happy for her and Brian, but I’m afraid that once they’re married, I’ll never see her.”

  “Sure you will.”

  “Not if they don’t live around here. With Brian becoming a police officer and Tamara a teacher, they could end up living anywhere in the state.”

  “I think they both will want to be as close to Hood River as possible, but no matter where they are we can go visit them, and they’ll always visit on holidays and stuff.”

  Holly smiled. “We’ll go visit them, huh?”

  He smiled. “Yes, we will. Only instead of you sleeping with Tamara and me and Brian rooming together, the arrangements will be much more to my liking.”

  She laughed. “What? No more midnight chats with Tamara?”

  “She can have you until eleven fifty-nine, but after that you’re all mine.”

  She snuggled back against him and realized something for the first time. For the last three years Tamara had been her best friend, but that was no longer the case.

  “You’re my best friend, Scott.”

  He kissed her forehead and whispered, “You’re my best friend too.”

  Scott stroked her hair. She looked up at him, and he kissed her slowly and tenderly. Her aunt and uncle still weren’t home, and other than Sarah sleeping upstairs, they were alone.

  Holly didn’t know if Scott’s kisses were more intense than usual or if he’d caught her at a vulnerable moment, but she began to want him to do more than kiss her. Scott’s lips moved to her neck, and his hand brushed the side of her breast. A slight moan came from her throat.

  She forced herself to pull away from him. Her heart was pounding, and her body longed for more, but she knew better.

  “Scott. I think we should stop.”

  Not knowing if he might try to talk her into “just a little more” or if she might not listen to her own words, she rose from the couch and went to the kitchen to get a drink of water.

  Hearing him come up behind her as she filled the glass, she told herself to stay strong and not give in to the desire still coursing through her. She kept her back to him. Scott placed his hands on the edge of the sink on either side of her and laid his cheek against her hair.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. That was careless of me.”

  Tears came to her eyes at the remorse in his voice. She set the cup in the sink and turned around. They held each other.

  Scott stepped back, keeping his hands on her waist. “I’m going now,” he said. “Are you okay?”

  She brushed back her tears and nodded.

  “I love you, Holly. That won’t happen again.”

  She walked him to the door, and he kissed her on the forehead. “Good night. Sleep well.”

  “Good night,” she whispered.

  Holly did sleep well and woke the next morning with a very free feeling. She hadn’t done what she knew it wasn’t the right time for. She and Scott didn’t have anything to regret. At ten-thirty he called and apologized again.

  “It’s okay, Scott. Don’t beat yourself up. It wasn’t just you.”

  “But I shouldn’t have put you in that position. I should have stopped before you had to ask me to.”

  “Okay, from now on I’ll trust you to do that. Let’s forget about it and move on, all right?”

  “All right,” he sighed. “You’re pretty wonderful. You know that?”

  “Yeah well, you’re pretty great too.”

  “Will you be over tomorrow after meeting with Pastor Bill?”

  “Absolutely. Any special request for dinner?”

  “How about if you let me take care of that this time? I’ll bring pizza home.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  Not five minutes after she hung up the phone, the doorbell rang. Holly went to answer it.

  “Delivery for Holly Stevens?”

  “That’s me,” she said, signing on the line and taking the bouquet of yellow and white roses from the woman.

  Pulling the card from the little envelope after setting the large vase on the kitchen table, she read Scott’s message: Yellow is for friendship. White is for purity.

  Holding the note close to her heart, Holly let silent tears fall. She never knew a relationship could feel this good and be so right in every way.

  Holly got another phone call that morning. Something completely unexpected. John Michael’s mother had recently had another baby and was planning to return to work part-time in a couple of weeks. Deb couldn’t take any more infants right now, and she’d been having trouble finding another home day care that she felt comfortable with.

  “Deb told me to check and see if you might be interested,” she said. “It would be three days a week. You could come to my house and bring Sarah, of course.”

  Holly readily agreed. John Michael had always been a dear boy, and she had missed him greatly. She started two weeks later and enjoyed having three children to care for. She was paid well for her service, supplying her with money of her own once again. God had provided just as her aunt had said.

  It took her a few days to get used to handling an infant again, but she soon felt right at home holding the little one in her arms, dressing him, feeding him, and changing his diaper.

  Sarah also seemed to enjoy the task of being Mommy’s helper. At three-and-a-half she had become quite the chatterbox and loved to talk at the baby too. Holly’s biggest task was keeping her daughter away from the bassinet when the little guy was sleeping. John Michael’s little brother soon became her self-proclaimed little brother too. And in turn John Michael became her big brother. Sarah seemed perfectly happy with the new arrangement.

  Her counseling sessions with Pastor Bill continued to help her, and she and Scott began going together every other week. Pastor Bill assigned them a book on communication to read separately and then discuss during their session. He also had them do some role-playing that made Holly uncomfortable the first few times, but she began to see the benefits and didn’t loathe the exercises quite as much, although it never became her favorite means of therapy.

  After nearly three months without hearing a word from her mother since sending her the story she had written encouraging her to seek God, Holly asked Aunt Dana if she had heard from her at all.

  “I’ve called her two or three times since Christmas, but I haven’t exactly gotten a warm reception. I’ve decided to back off. She usually ends up calling me when I leave her alone for a few months. ”

  “Does she ever ask about me?”

  “No, but I tell her plenty anyway.” Her aunt laughed. “I think she likes hearing about you more than she lets on.”

  “I wrote her another letter awhile back. Did she ever mention it?”

  “No.”

  Holly explained further, wondering if her mother had even read it. “That was probably really dumb, huh? To try to convince her with some silly story. I don’t know where I get these crazy ideas.”

  Aunt Dana smiled. “From God, I’m sure.”

  “You think so? I thought that at the time but when nothing happened, I decided it was all just in my head.”

  “Sharing God’s love is never in vain, Holly. God will use the seeds you’re planting in her heart, maybe not in a way we can see, but He’s got a plan.”

  “I thought she’d come around by now, you know? Sarah is three years old. I don’t understand how she can hate me so much.”

  “Holly, your mom doesn’t hate you. She’s ashamed of herself, of the bad choices she’s made. She doesn’t want to admit that she’s wrong. Don’t blame yourself for her behavior.”

  Holly didn’t understand her aunt’s reasoning. “But she didn’t get pregnant before she was married like I did. What does she have to be ashamed of? Daddy was the one that screwed up her life.”

  “But she married someone that didn’t share her faith, and she knew that wasn’t right. She knew what your dad was like before she married him. We all did.”

  Holly took a moment to let her aunt’s words sink in. “Are you saying my mom knows God?”

  Her aunt looked stunned. “You didn’t know?”

  Holly shook her head. “I had no idea. She never went to church, ever. She doesn’t have a Bible that I ever saw.”

  “Oh, she has one. It’s probably buried in a box somewhere. Didn’t you know our dad was a pastor?”

  Holly shook her head. “The only time I ever met Grandpa was when Grandma was sick and we went to see her in the hospital once before she died. That was when I was like six. And then when Grandpa died a few years ago I didn’t go to the funeral with her because I felt like I didn’t even know him.”

  Aunt Dana sighed and told her about the heritage she had come from. “My sister and I were raised in a loving Christian home, Holly. Our dad was a pastor of a small church in Eastern Oregon. Jana and I were raised in the church, taught right and wrong, memorized Bible verses, and received the Lord’s forgiveness at a young age.”

  “Why did she stop believing?”

  “When she met your dad, she stepped into another world. One of parties and drinking and no room for God. At first she said she was just having fun, living on the wild side for once. She promised me she’d be careful, not get herself into any kind of trouble, but very soon she became this person I didn’t even know.”