“What did he say?”

  Tamara smiled. “He told me I didn’t have to worry. That he has no intention of breaking up with me.”

  Sharing Brian’s words seemed to make Tamara both happy and sad. A tear escaped onto her cheek. “I’m so in love with him, Holl. I didn’t know it was possible to love someone this much.”

  Holly let Tamara cry on her shoulder. Tamara returned the favor when Holly told her about her struggles with Sarah. She knew Tamara had witnessed a few outbursts today for herself and silently wondered if Tamara thought she wasn’t being a very good mom.

  “Holly, I’m sure you’re doing the best you can. Don’t worry about it. Sarah is healthy and happy and has a mama that loves her. I’d say she’s doing just fine. I’m sure I’ll go through the same thing when I have my little brood someday.”

  They parted with a tearful hug, and Holly found herself looking forward to their time together in September once again.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Holly opened the front door of Deb’s house and followed her daughter inside. Setting her bag on the front bench, she greeted John Michael who had run to the door to meet her.

  “Hi, Sarah,” he said. The two of them ran off to play. Holly followed them, said good morning to Deb, and went to the kitchen to get something to drink.

  Holly hadn’t had much breakfast. Sarah’s shoe had been missing, quite a tragic event for her almost two-year-old, and they had searched the house looking for the mate to Sarah’s favorite pair.

  She grabbed a donut from the counter and went back to the living room. Deb greeted another arriving child at the door and followed five-year-old Isabel inside.

  “Guess what?” Deb said clasping her hands together like a giddy schoolgirl.

  Holly laughed. “What?”

  “Scott is moving to Hood River!”

  “Really? When?”

  “In two weeks! He found a job here.”

  “That’s great,” she said, knowing how long Deb had been waiting for her son and granddaughter to be closer.

  “Will we be having Madeline here every day then?”

  “Of course. I insisted on that,” she laughed. “Half-days anyway, she starts kindergarten this year.”

  “Is Scott planning on getting a place close by?”

  “They’re going to move in here for now. I told him there was no reason to be dishing out rent on some tiny apartment when I have all this extra room.”

  “That’s great, Deb. I know you’ve wanted this for a long time.”

  “Boy, have I. The Lord does hear our prayers.”

  The following week Deb got a call from someone looking for child care. They had a few spots open, although Deb didn’t like them to operate at full capacity. She wanted to keep things small, even with two of them there. But the woman had sounded desperate, and Deb’s good heart had gone out to her.

  “She’s a single mom,” Deb said to Holly after agreeing over the phone to have the woman come by for an interview. “She’s been through three day cares already and just took her son out of this one because when she went to pick him up yesterday she found the woman sewing in the back room with the children running around unsupervised. The other two places were too big and impersonal. I think she’s looking for what we’ve got right here.”

  “We can handle one more,” she said. “Isabel is starting kindergarten next month and Rachel will be in first grade.”

  “That’s true. I’m sure we’ll be fine. Do you want to talk with her when she comes by?”

  “Me?”

  “Sure. It’s time you start learning that end of things too. Besides, you two have something in common. You might make her feel at ease better than me.”

  Holly felt nervous about the interview beforehand, but once she opened the door and introduced herself, she felt better. Ashley Morgan appeared apprehensive about meeting strangers, and Holly instantly felt the need to make Ashley feel welcome and safe.

  “Come on in,” she said. “We can meet in the den.”

  Holly led her to the room off the living room where Deb’s desk and computer were set up. A window between the two rooms allowed Ashley to see where the children were playing and gave them quiet and privacy at the same time. They talked easily with one another. Holly pointed out Sarah. Ashley seemed to open up more once she realized Holly understood what she was going through, just as Deb had predicted.

  The infant stirred in his car seat where he had been sleeping. Ashley reached for him and freed him from the contraption. Holly had already learned he was six months old and his name was Austin.

  “I need to feed him,” Ashley said.

  “Go right ahead,” Holly said, rising from the chair to give the young mother her privacy. “You can sit on the couch over there, and I’ll come back in a few minutes to answer any other questions you have.”

  Ashley thanked her, and Holly returned to the children. Deb asked how things had gone, and Holly gave her a full report. After Holly returned and answered all of Ashley’s questions, Ashley decided to start bringing Austin the following Monday, although she still appeared nervous.

  When Holly went home that evening, she helped her aunt prepare dinner, and they barbecued some chicken on the outside grill. They also enjoyed some fresh corn on the cob from the garden, and Holly made a fruit salad complete with fresh blueberries, plums, dark cherries, and apples from the backyard trees and bushes.

  While Aunt Dana took flower cuttings from her garden and Uncle Jack laid in the hammock reading some books to Sarah, Holly sat on the patio and wrote a letter to her cousin, with Pounce in her lap purring contentedly. Tamara and Ty would be coming home from camp in two more weeks. She could hardly wait.

  Dear Tamara,

  Hi. How’s camp life treating you? Are you excited the summer is nearly over, or sad? I’m sure you have mixed feelings. Ready for a break but know you’ll miss the kids once it’s over. I know you’re more than anxious to see your “sweetie.”

  Not much new going on around here. Sarah is continuing to try my patience most days. She’s been doing this fit-throwing thing where she lays on the floor and kicks and screams. John Michael used to do that, and I always thought it must be from a lack of discipline at home. Well, I won’t be pointing any fingers at other parents anymore.

  Hey, you want to take Sarah to college with you? Just kidding. I love her to death, but some days I wonder what God was thinking when he gave us wills of our own--or at least to two-year-olds!

  Can you believe she’s actually going to be two next month? That amazes me. I have a hard enough time thinking of myself as nineteen. Our last year as teenagers and then we’re going to be mature young women! Yeah right!

  Well, not much else for me to say. I hope you have a great week. Remember the Lord is your strength. As always, you are in my prayers.

  Love you,

  Holly

  P.S. Guess who’s moving to Hood River in two weeks? Madeline! Scott got a job here and they’re going to be living with Deb. I get to see my “other girl” every day now. I think I’m almost as excited as her grandma--well, I don’t think I can quite match Deb’s enthusiasm, but it should be fun.

  Holly’s room felt stuffy that night when she went to bed. She laid awake listening to the crickets chirping and frogs croaking through her open window. She could also hear Sarah breathing deeply as she slept in her crib across the room.

  Jesus, please give me patience with my daughter. I know all this is a part of her growing up, but some days I feel like if she disobeys one more time I’m going to scream. Give me strength and wisdom.

  Please be with Tamara during the final two weeks of camp. Give her strength and use her in reaching the hearts of the girls in her cabin. I miss her, God. But I know that’s where you want her to be. Bless her for her faithfulness and obedience to you, and strengthen her and Brian’s relationship during this time apart from one another.

  Thank you that Madeline and Scott are going to be moving here. I don’t know why Madeline touches my heart the way she does, but I’m looking forward to having her around all the time. I ask that you would help make the transition smooth for them and that Scott would be happy with his new job. He’s such a sweet guy, Lord, and he’s such a great father to Madeline, but he seems lonely. I hope he can form some friendships here in town or possibly rekindle some old ones. He and Shelly at church went to high school together, and I get the feeling Shelly has her eye on him. I don’t know if that’s meant to be, but I know you can help them find each other if it is.

  ***

  On Sunday afternoon Holly drove to Portland to spend a week with Faith and her family. Several of the children at day care were gone on vacation, giving her a chance to take a week off. Faith’s little boy was old enough to play with Sarah now, and the two of them got into plenty of trouble together.

  Holly took some comfort in seeing little Ricky testing his mother’s patience on more than one occasion. Faith looked exasperated several times throughout the week. Holly asked if her girls had been easier.

  “Aleisha was the worst. She still has quite the stubborn streak. But Lindsey was easy. I don’t think she ever threw a fit. It’s funny how different they are.”

  “Do you ever feel like you can’t make it through one more day?”

  “Lots of times. Especially with Aleisha. I will never forget the day when she threw this huge fit at church. She was about two, I think, and when I went to get her from the nursery she didn’t want to leave. I ended up carrying her away kicking and screaming. She even bit me when I tried to put her into the car seat. I thought, ‘Who is this monster? What happened to my sweet little baby girl?’”

  Holly had those same thoughts many times. She felt relieved she wasn’t the only one.

  “That day I came home, went to my bedroom, and cried like I had never cried in my entire life. I remember saying, ‘God I can’t do this anymore.’ I felt so alone and thought I didn’t have anything left to make it through one more day. But God heard my cry for help. Aleisha didn’t change, but I did. He showed me that I didn’t have to parent alone and do everything right all the time, that His grace is sufficient, and He gave me a peace that I can’t explain.”

  “Please tell me they outgrow this phase.”

  “They do,” Faith laughed. “But then new things come. But God always gives me the help I need. I try to keep the words from Lamentations in mind, especially if I’ve had a difficult day. ‘Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is his faithfulness.’

  “Something else I have learned to do is to focus on the positive--in my children and in myself. It may seem like the whole day is bad if one difficult moment crosses my path. But usually when I look at the day as a whole I can find a lot of good things too.”

  Holly supposed that was true. Even this week Sarah had a few outbursts, but overall she had been delightful. Faith had commented on her nurturing spirit and selfless attitude many times.

  “The things I see in Aleisha that sometimes drive me crazy are also some of her greatest strengths when used at the right time.”

  “Really? How so?”

  “Aleisha is stubborn and has strong opinions about how she wants things done. That’s what made her so defiant as a toddler. But in school last year her teacher had the children give oral reports. They were supposed to choose an historical person. Aleisha chose Jesus and gave this wonderful presentation about who He was, gave the plan of salvation, the whole works. She goes to public school, but her teacher goes to our church, and she told me all about it. Her teacher told me that afterwards one of the boys in her class said, ‘Jesus isn’t alive. He died a long time ago. That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.’ Aleisha stood her ground though. She told the boy he was wrong, and she walked over, gave him her Bible that she had used as a visual aid, and said, ‘If you don’t believe me, read it for yourself.”

  “Wow! She did that all on her own? You and Patrick didn’t tell her to?”

  “Nope. That’s a part of who she is, who God made her to be. We’ve had to guide her in using that spirit and zeal in appropriate ways, but the same girl that I carried out of the nursery kicking and screaming is the same one that boldly shares her faith with a room full of fifth-graders.”

  Holly tried to keep what Faith said in mind in the weeks that followed. Whenever she felt weary as a mother, she asked God to quiet her spirit and give her rest. She was amazed at what a difference one whispered prayer could make. Being reminded of God’s presence helped her to remember that Sarah belonged to Him, and she knew God would never fail to give her the strength she needed to be the best mom she could be.

  She also tried to focus on Sarah’s strong character traits. The same ones that often caused a battle also gave Holly the opportunity to teach Sarah a better way to express her independence.

  The difficult moments still came. Holly often felt weary, and she disciplined Sarah when it was necessary, but Jesus was with her, and she believed that, and she clung to Him.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “Brenda is getting married,” Aunt Dana said.

  Tamara took the white envelope from her mother’s hand and looked over the wedding invitation herself. Holly looked up from the kitchen table where she had been making a shopping list.

  “Who’s Brenda?”

  “Brenda is one of our nieces; Jack’s sister’s daughter,” her aunt explained.

  “The sister that came to visit a few months ago?”

  “Yes, Terri. She lives in Yakima, Washington.”

  “But Brenda wasn’t with them, was she?”

  “No. Brenda doesn’t live at home anymore. Let’s see, she must be about twenty-five, I think.”

  “When is the wedding?” Uncle Jack asked, having caught the tail-end of the conversation.

  “The first Saturday of next month,” Aunt Dana replied, flipping the calendar beside the telephone and marking the date.

  “Anything else for the list?” Holly asked, coming to the counter to look at the wedding invitation. She liked the embossed roses and candles on the front beside the scripted names: Brenda and Scott.

  Holly’s mind took a detour. Scott, their Scott not Brenda’s, had moved into Deb’s last weekend. She hadn’t seen him much during the week except for one evening when she stayed later than usual. His new work schedule didn’t allow him to spend Mondays at the day care anymore. His hours were Monday through Friday except for once a month when he would work on Saturday and have Wednesday off instead.

  Madeline had started kindergarten this week, and Holly was responsible for taking her and the other children to the bus stop each morning and then going to pick up Madeline and Isabel at noon.

  Tamara had come home last weekend as well, but between her work schedule and Tamara spending most of her evenings with Brian, they hadn’t had as much time together as Holly would have liked. She hoped that they could have more in the next two weeks.

  Shelly and Scott; Ashley and Scott; Both definite possibilities, she thought, thinking about her resolve to find Scott a girlfriend.

  Holly and Scott. Whoa! Where did that come from?

  “Holly, did you get that?”

  “W--What?” She turned to see her aunt rummaging through the pantry shelves.

  “We need some more rice and spaghetti.”

  She wrote down the items and shoved the invitation under some other mail. Me and Scott? I don’t think so.

  On the way into town Tamara told her more about her summer at camp. Overall she sounded like she’d had a good time.

  “Do you think you’ll go back next year?”

  “I don’t know,” Tamara replied. “It would be my fifth summer if I did. I’ve thought about the possibility of being a senior counselor. My friend Loralyn did that this year, and she really enjoyed it. But I don’t know if I’m the leader type. I think I’ll pray about it.”

  “What does the senior counselor do?”

  “Supervises the other girls on staff, either the counselors or the work crew. I’d probably apply for the counselor position, since being on work crew wasn’t my favorite. That’s what my friend did, but she’s buff. I’m too wimpy to be chopping wood and digging fence-post holes. Besides, Loralyn’s pretty sure she’s going to do it again next summer. That would be fun to be on senior staff with her.”

  “Do you think you could take another summer away from Brian?”

  “That’s the clincher. On the one hand I know the separations have been good for our relationship in some ways, but man it sure is tough. I felt better after we had our talk, but the last month still dragged.”

  “Maybe you can talk him into going with you.”

  “I almost had him talked into it this year, but his family can’t help him as much with college money. That would be fun though. We had several couples on staff this summer. Two of my good friends got engaged this spring, and they were there together. They always looked so happy and content.

  Holly thought again about the wedding invitation and how she had imagined her own name in place of Brenda’s, but she didn’t mention her crazy thought to Tamara. “A lot of people we know are getting married,” she commented. “Did you hear about Molly?”

  “Oh, don’t remind me,” Tamara said, holding her waist as if she had a stomach ache.

  “About what? Your cousin’s wedding? Aunt Dana sounded--”

  “Not Brenda. Molly.”

  “Uh-oh. You don’t like Chase?”

  Tamara shook her head. “Molly is making a big mistake with him.”

  “What’s he like? I haven’t really been around Molly much.”

  “No one has. She spends all her time with him, but I can’t understand why. He treats her terrible.”