“I know you’re scared and confused, Holly. We can help.”

  Holly met Faith the following day.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Holly’s first Christmas away from her mom began well but turned into a difficult day. The morning started early with Sarah waking at six a.m. Hearing commotion downstairs while she was feeding her, Holly decided to investigate instead of going back to sleep as she normally did.

  Reaching the bottom of the steps, she saw huge white flakes out the window falling gently from the sky. It had snowed yesterday also, blanketing the ground and trees in powdery softness. This life in the mountains seemed strange to her. She’d always lived in the city.

  Tamara and Ty were in the family room, checking out their gifts from Santa as if they were ten. “Look, Holly. Isn’t this cool? I got it! I can’t believe it!”

  The “it” Tamara referred to had been placed on the coffee table. Holly sat down on the couch, holding Sarah in her arms. “Is that a laptop?”

  “Yes! Mom and Dad--I mean Santa says it’s for college, but I never expected I’d get one now. This is so great!”

  Holly saw Ty hunched over something across the room. “What did you get, Ty?”

  He turned around and moved out of the way. It appeared to be a new video game system he was hooking up to the television. “Oh, cool,” she said. She’d seen him playing the old one often.

  “Aren’t you going to go see yours?” Tamara asked.

  “Mine?”

  “Sure,” she laughed. “You didn’t think Santa would forget about you and Sarah, did you?”

  Honestly Holly hadn’t expected much. She knew she would get some new clothes for herself and a toy or something for Sarah. Her aunt and uncle had been too generous for her to expect any less, but when she went to have a peek, she felt completely unprepared for what she saw sitting at the base of the tree.

  “That’s not for me,” she stated, glancing at Ty.

  He shrugged. “It’s got your name on it.”

  Her eyes returned to the iPod sitting alongside a speaker system with a big red ribbon on top. She had seen a similar looking one in Tamara’s room and secretly wished she had something to play her music on, but she had never voiced her desire.

  Before the reality of the expensive gift began to sink in, Ty pointed out something else. “And I guess that must be for Sarah,” he said, pointing to the corner of the room on the opposite side from the tree. “I’m pretty sure she’s the only one around here who’s going to fit into it.” He laughed at his own joke.

  Holly felt too overwhelmed to do anything but cry at the sight of the baby swing. Stepping around Ty, she went to have a closer look. Tamara jumped up from her computer to come help her put Sarah into the padded chair. Sarah stirred and opened her eyes.

  “Want to go for a ride?” Holly said. “It’s a swing just for you.”

  Tamara turned on the switch, and the chair began moving back and forth gently.

  “I think she likes it,” Tamara said.

  The surprises didn’t end with the swing and the music player. After a filling breakfast of eggs, bacon, pancakes, and orange juice, Holly gathered with the family around the tree to open the large amount of wrapped packages.

  Holly didn’t have any of her own money to give anyone anything, but she’d gone shopping with Aunt Dana and Tamara one day this week. Her aunt had given her some money to get something for Tamara and Ty, and Tamara had asked for her help with selecting gifts for her mom and dad, making Holly feel like she had been able to have a part in the giving too.

  If Holly had her choice she would have preferred to give something to everyone with her own money, not caring if she received anything in return, but this year that had been impossible. Maybe in future years when she had a job she would be able to do that.

  But for now she chose to be grateful for the generosity of her aunt and uncle and cousins. Sarah had several new outfits to wear along with some small toys to enjoy and a crib attachment that played music. A new pair of jeans, two new sweaters, and some socks helped to expand her small wardrobe. Her body had changed after being pregnant, and not all of her clothes fit her well anymore. She also received a new CD and a pair of earrings.

  The difficult part of the day came that evening when her aunt called her mom on the telephone. Aunt Dana talked to her first, then asked if she wanted to talk to Holly. The look on Aunt Dana’s face told her the answer. Retreating to her room, Holly let the tears flow. She could understand her mom not wanting her at the apartment with Sarah. She could understand her mom’s inability to help her with the extra expenses and not wanting to lose precious sleep to a crying infant.

  But Holly could not understand her own mother not wanting to even speak to her. Does she hate me that much? Does she think I’m that horrible of a person because I got pregnant, or did she hate me before that, and this is an excuse to get rid of me?

  Her aunt’s hand on her shoulder startled her. Holly tried to collect herself. She hadn’t wanted to have anyone see her this way. She felt ashamed. Aunt Dana must think I’m an awful mess. Mama’s probably told her all kinds of things about me.

  Her aunt’s words were kind. “I’m sorry, Holly. I don’t understand why she’s acting this way.”

  Holly sat up to grab a tissue from her nightstand. She dried her eyes and blew her nose. “I’m sorry I’ve put you into this position, Aunt Dana.”

  “You’re sorry? What do you have to be sorry about?”

  Her aunt’s words surprised her. “Coming between you and Mom for one thing. I never would have come here if I had known she’d end up being mad at you too.”

  “Holly. You are not the cause of the rift between me and Jana. That’s been going on for years.”

  “It has?”

  “Sure. Why do you think we haven’t been to visit more often? Your mom stopped inviting us a long time ago, and it had nothing to do with you.”

  “Well, I can’t be helping things much.”

  Aunt Dana pulled her into an embrace and held her for several moments. “We are very happy to have you here,” she said simply, bringing fresh tears to Holly’s eyes. “I hope she comes around one of these days, but if she doesn’t, you will always have a home here with us, all right?”

  Holly couldn’t reply. She wanted to believe her, but since her own mother didn’t want her, that was not an easy thing to do.

  ***

  Holly enrolled at Hood River Valley High at the beginning of the second semester. She had been a good student at Sunset and only needed a few more credits to graduate. Given the option of taking a full day of classes and finishing by June, or going half-days now and taking a couple of classes during summer school, she decided she didn’t want to be away from Sarah all day, and the longer but more relaxed schedule seemed like the best option.

  Holly felt nervous on the first day of school, but things went much better than she expected. She’d imagined silent stares and whispers greeting her, but for the most part she felt welcome. Some of them knew about her situation, others didn’t. She tried to be herself and not hide the truth, knowing those worth having as friends wouldn’t judge her for her mistakes. Faith had taught her that.

  Tamara was a big part of her fitting in easily, introducing her to many of her friends and never pretending she didn’t know her. They even had two classes together: Choir and Economics.

  Holly had been in choir since seventh grade, and second period became her favorite hour of the morning. The choir teacher greeted them with a huge smile and lots of enthusiasm each day. She made singing fun but also challenged them with difficult pieces of music.

  Holly selected French II as her other elective. For her required senior English credit, she chose creative writing, and she enjoyed that class also. She had always liked writing poetry and short stories but had never been taught specific technique and style. Mr. Tate said she had a natural feel for writing, but the class helped her to focus her ideas and enhance her gift.

  Economics wasn’t as thrilling but not difficult for her either. Staying awake through the lectures first period proved to be her biggest challenge. She never seemed to feel well rested. Economics gave her the heaviest load of homework, but she generally had time in the evenings to get it done. She and Tamara often worked on their assignments together.

  A woman Aunt Dana knew from church had a home day care and offered to watch Sarah while she attended school in exchange for Holly coming to help her with the kids in the afternoon. She agreed without hesitation, thankful for the generous offer. Her time not only offset the cost of the child care, but also provided some spending money of her own. She felt better about buying diapers for Sarah, lunch every day for herself, and other personal items rather than having to ask her aunt and uncle for money constantly.

  From her first minutes spent helping Deb Christiansen with her day care business in the afternoons, she loved it. Every weekday afternoon from twelve-thirty to four-thirty she helped care for and played with the children ranging in age from six months to five years.

  The children seemed to like her as much as she enjoyed them, especially a two-year-old boy named John Michael. He followed her everywhere, and she often had to carry him around on her hip to keep him from tugging on her leg all the time.

  A loving middle-aged widow, Deb Christiansen treated all of the children as if they were her own grandchildren. Her husband of twenty-six years had passed away three years ago unexpectedly from a brain aneurysm, and Deb seemed to thrive on having her house bustling with noise and laughter. She said the children were what had gotten her through the difficult time.

  Holly learned Deb had two grown sons. Sean lived in Portland and worked as a computer system engineer. Scott lived in The Dalles, about thirty minutes east of Hood River. He worked as an auto mechanic.

  Deb’s only grandchild was Scott’s daughter. She got to see three-year-old Madeline every Sunday afternoon when her son came to visit, but Deb obviously wished she could see her every day. She talked of Scott and Madeline often.

  The first Monday in February Holly went to Deb’s house after lunch as usual. John Michael greeted her with jam on his face and fingers, smearing some on her jeans as he grasped her leg.

  “Up, Haw-yee. Up,” he said, grasping her pale yellow shirt-tail before she had a chance to remove her coat.

  “All right. Just a sec, honey,” she said, hanging her jacket in the foyer and lifting his chubby frame.

  Deb was holding a fussing Sarah, and Holly had to get John Michael interested in some blocks before she could go to her own daughter and feed her. After laying Sarah down for a nap, she returned to the living room and played with the children, noticing a new face in the bunch.

  “Hi, sugar. What’s your name?” she asked the wide-eyed girl with curly brown hair. She appeared to be about three.

  The little girl turned away shyly.

  “Okay, let me guess,” Holly said. “Is it Minnie Mouse?”

  The brown eyes turned back briefly and then playfully looked away.

  “Pooh Bear?”

  The curly head shook slowly back and forth.

  “Piglet?”

  Another shake of the head, this time more animated.

  “I know. It must be Elmo.”

  The round face turned, and the girl giggled. “No. Madeline!”

  “Oh, Madeline! Of course. I should have guessed that!”

  “Maddy,” Deb called from the kitchen. “Daddy’s on the phone.”

  “Daddy!” She sprang to her feet and went running. Holly realized the little girl must be Deb’s granddaughter. She had seen a picture before, but Madeline had much more hair now.

  Deb confirmed her thoughts when she and Madeline came back from the kitchen. “My son came to visit this weekend, and I asked to keep Maddy with me for a couple more days. He’ll come get her tomorrow.”

  Holly noticed that Deb never mentioned her son’s wife whenever she spoke of him or Madeline. She wondered why but didn’t ask. Madeline warmed up to her quickly, and by the end of the afternoon the following day, the little girl had claimed her almost as much as John Michael. Holly usually left at four-thirty, but if Sarah was sleeping she would stay longer and play with the other children as they slowly left one-by-one.

  By five-thirty the only children that remained were Madeline, Brady, and Bethany. Brady and Bethany were twins that Deb had cared for since they had been infants. They were now five-year-olds and attended kindergarten in the mornings but came to day care in the afternoons.

  Holly decided to go wake Sarah and feed her before she went home. When she emerged from the back bedroom thirty minutes later, only Madeline remained. Deb and her granddaughter were on the floor, putting together a simple puzzle.

  Strapping Sarah into her car seat, Holly prepared to leave, grabbing her coat, backpack, and Sarah’s bag, then returned to the front room to say good-bye. Madeline came to give her a hug, and Holly rubbed noses with the delightful brown-eyed girl that had captured her heart in two short days. She hoped Madeline would be back again sometime soon, but she didn’t know if Deb’s son left her with Grandma very often.

  Before she rose from her knees, Holly heard the door open behind her. She turned, and Madeline ran from her arms.

  “Daddy!”

  Holly rose to her feet and watched the happy reunion. Madeline’s daddy lifted her into his arms effortlessly, and Madeline hugged him tightly around the neck.

  “Look, Daddy,” Madeline said, pointing to Sarah’s car seat. “It’s a baby!”

  “Yes, it is,” he said, looking where Madeline pointed. “What’s the baby’s name?”

  “Sar--rah.”

  Madeline scrambled from her daddy’s arms and knelt down on the floor to give Sarah a kiss. “That’s Sarah’s mommy,” Madeline said, pointing to Holly.

  Deb entered the entry way and spoke as Holly met her son’s gaze. “This is my son, Scott. Scott, this is Holly. She helps me out in the afternoons now.”

  “Nice to meet you, Holly,” he said, nodding her direction.

  “Nice to meet you,” she replied, thinking he looked quite young to have a three-year-old. Maybe he had a perpetual baby-face. She noticed his hair appeared to be the same color as Deb’s: light brown with a fair amount of red highlights.

  “You have a sweet little girl there,” Holly said.

  Scott smiled and reached for Madeline, tickling her gently. “Sweet, huh? I don’t know about that. I think maybe you’re sour.”

  “No, Daddy. Not sour! Sweeeee-t. Holly says so.”

  “Oh, okay. If Holly says so.”

  “I say so too,” Deb said, then added. “I can’t imagine how I ever did all this around here without Holly.”

  Scott gave his mom a knowing look. “See. I told you so.”

  Holly smiled at the compliment. She enjoyed feeling needed and appreciated.

  Deb asked Scott if he could stay for dinner. Scott nodded and lifted Madeline back into his arms, carrying her past Holly into the living room.

  “See you tomorrow, Deb,” Holly said, stepping toward the door and lifting Sarah’s car seat. “Bye, Madeline.”

  Madeline scrambled from her daddy’s arms, came running, and hugged her tightly around the knees one more time. Holly laughed and glanced at Scott. Returning his smile, she pried herself away from his charming little girl and went out the door.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Holly drove from Deb’s to her aunt and uncle’s country home and pulled into the driveway. After two months of living here, she still couldn’t believe it and thanked God for all He had provided. She had been driving an older Honda Accord to and from school and work. It had been the family car until they had bought a new one last year. They had kept it for Tamara to use, and Tamara did often use the car in the evenings if she had somewhere to go. But knowing Holly needed it in the middle of the day to drive to Deb’s, Tamara had given up her own right to the car and either rode the bus home or waited for someone to come pick her up if she had something to stay for after school.

  Much to Holly’s amazement, she and Tamara had quickly become very much like sisters. She’d only had a few close friendships before. Distancing herself from others had always seemed safer. She couldn’t get hurt that way. But Tamara hadn’t given her that option. Holly wondered if Tamara had always wanted a sister as much as she had. Holly’s only sibling was her brother. Paul was in the Army. He had been a good brother to her, but they’d never had the chance to get close.

  After helping with last-minute dinner preparations, she ate with the others, left Sarah in Uncle Jack’s arms, and headed upstairs to do her economics homework and study for a test she had in French the next day. A knock sounded on her door after about twenty minutes, and Tamara peeked inside.

  “Are you busy?”

  “Just finishing this assignment. What’s up?”

  Tamara came into the room with her gray cat in her arms, closed the door behind her, and skipped across the room, plopping onto the end of the daybed. Her green eyes were dancing. Holly turned down the music she was playing with the remote.

  “You’ll never guess what happened during math today.”

  “What?”

  “Brian asked me out!” she squealed.

  Holly laughed at her exuberance. “He did? That’s great! I thought you said he didn’t know you existed.”

  “Well, he hardly ever talks to me, even though he’s been sitting right behind me for three months. What was I supposed to think?”

  “How did he ask?”

  Tamara smiled and put on her shy face. Pounce jumped out of her arms to go explore the room. “He was so sweet, really. We were working on our assignment together because we had a sub who let us, and I mentioned something about the Valentine’s Day dance because I’m on the planning committee. I asked him if he was going, which I only asked because I’d overheard Jenna Hunt on Sunday say she had asked him.