After much convincing, Tiffany persuaded me to allow her to come for a couple of days. She said she had to talk to me about something and wanted to do it before heading back to campus in the fall.

  I couldn’t imagine what she had on her mind. I didn’t stress about it. The Manning Academy invited me to come work with the kids. It was an amazing honor, and I got to hang out with NFL quarterback legends like Peyton and Eli. I had attended the passing academy when I was in high school, so it was cool to return and pass on what I learned.

  When I arrived, I found Tiffany sitting by herself in the lounge off to the side of the lobby. Her yellow sundress fit her body and the contrast with her pale skin made her look older. I figured she would be happy to see me, but her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. She rubbed under her eyes and glared at me as I walked toward her. When I stood in front of her, her gaze darted around the lobby.

  She stood up and although she looked ready to knock my head off, she hugged me, held onto me like her sanity depended on it. I hugged her back and rubbed her back until her body relaxed.

  The sexual attraction I felt when Tiffany touched me crept in, and I couldn’t wait to get her upstairs.

  The expectant look on her face broke my heart. She was in love with me, and I knew it.

  I kissed her softly and a whimper escaped from her lips.

  “Let’s go upstairs.” I took her hand and turned toward the elevator.

  “Can we talk down here first?”

  I searched her eyes, and they told me everything she wanted to say. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it.

  “Sure.” I led her over to a set of sofas hidden from the lobby. I sat down and she sat next to me. I turned to face her, but she stared straight ahead.

  “What’s up?”

  “If you don’t want me. Please,” her throat caught and she sucked in a breath, “please tell me now.”

  “Tiff?”

  “Wait. I need to say this before I lose my nerve.” She let out a breath and turned to face me. Her leg rubbed up against mine, and I had to push the spark I felt out of my head and concentrate on the words coming out of her mouth. “I love you. I have for a while, but I don’t know why.”

  “Tiffany, I don’t know what to say.” I pulled at a string on my cargo shorts, and avoided looking her in the eyes.

  “I’m not an idiot. I know you don’t love me, but you could if you gave us half a chance. If you did more than have sex with me and allow me to occupy your space every once in a while, you could fall in love with me. I’m an amazing girl.”

  “Tiff, what do you want from me?”

  “I don’t want anything except to know you want to be with me.”

  “I do,” I said, but it came out as a question and not an exclamation.

  She stood up, but I grabbed her hand before she could walk away. I didn’t want her to walk away. She was right. I’d never given her a chance. I’d never given us a chance because my mind clung to something I knew could never happen.

  “I know you’ve had a hard year. Your best friend killed himself and you never talk about him. In fact, there isn’t one piece of evidence of him in your life and you’re still struggling. And if being a part of Carrington’s life helps you deal, if taking care of Josh’s son helps you work through it, then I am all for it. I understand. I didn’t get it before—it was weird—but I get it now. I’m sure she needs you, but I want you to give me a chance to help you, too.”

  It caught me off guard, but what she said made sense. I rubbed my eyes. Tiffany reached out and rubbed her hand along my jaw. I grabbed her hand and held it to my lips. I didn’t want to cry. Didn’t want to show so much emotion because girls always took that as a sign. I wasn’t ready to connect with her like that, but I wasn’t ready to let her go. Tiffany needed something from me, and I wanted to give it to her. I didn’t want her to think the time we spent together had been a waste. I wasn’t a complete asshole.

  I let out a sigh and kissed her hand. She sat back down.

  “I don’t know if I can give you what you want. I know I can’t

  give you what you deserve. Not now.”

  “I need you to give me more.”

  “How?”

  “You can start by talking to me.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  I studied her face; her skin had more color and she seemed back to her confident self.

  “For starters, you can tell me if you’re as horny as I am?” she asked and giggled.

  Hell, if that is all, this is going to be easier than I thought.

  I leaned over and kissed her and bit her bottom lip.

  “Let’s go.”

  I checked in and held her hand as we headed to the elevator. We ran into a couple of quarterbacks from other schools. We shook hands and guy hugged before the elevator arrived.

  “Hey, guys. This is my girlfriend, Tiffany.” They both shook hands with her, and her eyes sparkled from the introduction. She appreciated the label. She was in love with me, and it was nice to hear it and feel it. One thing about Tiffany I admired was the way she put herself out there. She told me how she felt with no concern of the potential consequences.

  Carrington didn’t do that. It wasn’t a fault; it was a symptom of her circumstances. I couldn’t do it, but maybe I could learn how.

  We found our room and attacked each other as soon as we enter. We rushed to the bed, pulled off clothes, and clung to each other. We fell into bed, but then I slowed things down and took my time. We’d had sex many, many times in the last six months, and it was good, but that’s all it was, sex. I always got off, and I assumed she did, too. She never complained. It wasn’t the kind of sex you had with someone you cared about.

  I cared about Tiffany. I wanted her in my life; I didn’t get that until she was ready to walk out of it.

  Chapter Six

  Carrington Olivia Butler

  You know how they say money can’t buy you happiness. Well, it sure made things a lot more convenient. I told Mr. Griffin I wanted to return to FSU and the president of the college called me a few days later to welcome me back.

  I needed a place to live; they didn’t allow children in the dorm. Mr. Griffin suggested a condo within walking distance of campus. Over the next month, his assistant would send me photos to choose the items I would need for our new home. She allowed me to choose everything from the sofa to the type of dishes I wanted—interior design by email. She promised everything would be in place when I arrived.

  I had to figure out what to do with Jack while I had class. FSU had childcare on campus, but I wasn’t wild about putting him in daycare at such a young age. Mr. Griffin’s suggestion over the phone was, “Well, we’ll just hire you some help.”

  “You mean like a nanny?”

  “Yes, my kids all had nannies,” he paused, “Not exactly a selling point.”

  I was glad he said it.

  “Maybe I could hire someone for a couple hours a week. Maybe another student.”

  The next week, resumes arrived in my inbox and interviews were set up upon my arrival.

  I was surprised to find Kayla’s name on the list.

  I arrived in Tallahassee a week before classes to get settled and interview the babysitters. My mother came to help me unpack.

  She watched Jack as I interviewed potential babysitters at a local Starbucks.

  The first two candidates must have thought the interview was for a play about being a nanny. Their answers were rehearsed. The third girl I interviewed was in my freshman English class. She seemed a little too curious about my story. Our interview lasted ten minutes.

  I wasn’t sure how much of what happened to me was still gossip. I figured returning to campus would cause the story to resurface, but hoped they would soon have something more interesting to talk about.

  Where did my new optimistic attitude come from? It was so much better than the emotional, sulking, negative girl I had been all year or maybe all my life. I tried not to get too ahead of myself when it came to Jackson, either. He was back on campus busy with the team.

  His final season as the quarterback of the Florida State Seminoles—and Jack and I would be there to see it.

  Kayla agreed to meet me later that afternoon. I had so much fun hanging out with her and I was happy to have her as a friend. But even though she was more responsible than me, I wasn’t sure if she would be the right person.

  “Hey, Carrington.” She skipped in and pulled me into a hug. “You look so pretty.”

  “Hi, Kayla. You, too. How are you? How’s Jamie?”

  “I am great, and Jamie is amazing. Thank you for asking.”

  “Is he back in New York?” I asked.

  “Yeah, but he’s coming down to see my new place before classes start next week.”

  “Oh. Good.”

  “How do you like the townhouse?”

  “It’s nice.”

  “I know, right? Uncle Griffin was going to put you right next door to me, but I told him to give you your space.”

  “What? The Griffin’s own the complex?”

  “Well, yeah. I’m sorry. I thought you knew.”

  “No. I thought his assistant found the condo. She gave me a couple of options.”

  “Griffin’s own a lot of property around here. I’m so happy you picked that one.”

  That paranoid feeling crept up. I rubbed my chest and stared down at the table.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I feel like I’m being consumed by Griffins. It’s freaking me out.”

  Kayla stared to the side. She had tears in her eyes and tried to speak, but couldn’t. I waited.

  “I understand how the name Griffin might garner some animosity in your mind and rightfully so, but I really need you to understand it’s my name, too.” She sniffled and wiped her nose on a napkin.

  I felt bad. She was right. I impugned a whole family based on the actions of two people, and I had no right. I didn’t know anything about the Griffin’s beside what Josh told me. He only spoke about his immediate family.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Oh, I’m being sensitive. Don’t worry about it.” She waved her hand.

  “No, I am sorry. I’m not as sweet and considerate as I used to be, and I sometimes speak before I think. I’m feeling a little out of my element with all of this. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I want to be here. I want to finish school, but didn’t realize how hard it was going to be, emotionally, coming back here.”

  “Oh my God, I am so stupid. I didn’t realize.” She placed her hand over mine. “Does it bother you to be reminded about what happened?”

  “No. I mean I’ve talked about what happened over and over again in therapy, to my family, my friends. I’m not having flashbacks or anything. It’s more of being upset at what I missed out on and what I almost lost because of what happened. I’m afraid of losing it again.”

  “Well, I can start by helping you have a little time to be a normal student.”

  “You really want to look after Jack.”

  “Yeah. Wait. You have to interview me, like I am someone off the street.”

  “Okay, Miss Griffin, please tell me about your experience with children.”

  “I’m an early education major starting at FSU in the fall. I love kids. I’ve volunteered to work with kids with special needs. I have three younger siblings who I helped raise.”

  “Why did you pick early education as your major?”

  “Well, I love the idea of working with kids at an age where their brains are more accepting of education. They absorb everything you teach them, and that is why the curriculum for children that age is so critical for the rest of their lives. Everybody knows that, but schools systems today don’t do enough to invest in kids at that age.”

  I smiled at her thoughtful answer. She was serious about her chosen major. She seemed too smart to flunk out of school because of a guy.

  “What happen at NYU?”

  “Um, what do you mean?”

  “Well, in Orlando Jamie said you got kicked out for academic reasons. That’s why you transferred to FSU.”

  “Well, that’s not exactly true.”

  “No. Why does he think that?”

  “Yeah, about that. You’re going to think I’m just awful, but I wanted to come back home. I loved New York, but I didn’t belong there and Jamie was my whole life and it kind of freaked me out. I have a four-point-oh average, but I decided to come home.”

  “Are you ever going to tell Jamie?”

  “No. I love Jamie, but it’s not like we’re going to get married or anything. We’re kids and I am way too young to get so serious about someone. It was easier this way.”

  I laughed because I felt the same way. I wanted to date and have fun and to not get consumed by a guy, and that was exactly what I did. Josh was my whole life two years ago. We spent so much time together because he made me feel special, but that feeling made me overlook his less desirable traits.

  Well, my mind was clear, now.

  Kayla and I had a lot more in common than I thought.

  “When do you want to start?”

  ***

  Jackson Latre Mitchell

  I rolled over and smiled at myself. My last first day of school ever. I surveyed my room and everything I had collected over the four and a half years at FSU. My championship jersey hung framed on my wall, photos and memorabilia were on my desk and nightstand.

  I checked my phone and had a text from Carrington:

  Carrington: Last first day of school ever! Congrats and enjoy! Miss you!

  Jackson: Thanks and miss you, too! Call you tonight.

  It was so like her, always in my head. I was so happy we were back to normal.

  I joined Tiffany in the shower. Ever since we got back from New Orleans, things between us had been great, too.

  Carrington crossed my mind daily, but I wanted to make it work with Tiffany. She was perfect for me. I had not told her I loved her, but she told me all the time and showed no signs of caring whether I said it back or not. When she said it, she meant it, and it felt good to have someone love me.

  We had a quick breakfast and I drove us to campus.

  “You excited? It’s your last semester in college.”

  “Yep.” I took her hand. I couldn’t hide the grin on my face. It felt good. I had two classes and a paper to write this semester and the rest of my time would be spent on football. No other distractions.

  We sat in line and waited to get into the parking garage.

  “You have time to meet me for lunch?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I have a class until noon; I’ll meet you in the Student Union after.”

  We made it in the parking garage, parked the car, and headed toward class hand in hand.

  Tiffany had three classes back to back this morning, but I had an hour to kill before mine.

  The football team had been back on campus for almost a month getting ready for the season, but it was such a different energy than when the rest of the students arrived. I walked across campus and waved at a few of my fraternity brothers hanging out on the quad.

  I’d distanced myself from the fraternity last year. Everyone seemed to walk around on eggshells because of what happened with Carrington and Josh. They knew I blamed myself and didn’t know how to deal when I was around.

  I didn’t want to ruin their college experience so I moved out.

  Seeing them brought back memories, bad and good, but living in that house would have force me to deal with missing my best friend every day, and I wasn’t ready for that.

  It wasn’t until December of last year, in a hotel in Los Angeles, that it hit me. We didn’t make it to the national championship game, but we did make it to the Rose Bowl. It was a close game, but a dropped pass on fourth down in the waning seconds of the fourth quarter ended the game and we lost 21-28.

  I’d gotten out of the shower, ready to hang out with my teammates and commiserate together over the loss. I had picked up my phone and flipped through text messages from family and friends, including Carrington.

  Carrington: Jack and I are so sorry about the game, but you are still the best quarterback in the world. We love you so much. Call me when you get a chance.

  I dropped the phone, collapsed on the bed with a towel wrapped around my waist. Tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t move. My phone rang a few times and my teammates knocked on my door, but I couldn’t answer them. I crawled under the covers and lay there and sobbed. It was pathetic, and I didn’t realize until later what had set me off. When I picked up my phone, I searched for a text from the one person who could never text me again.

  I was looking for a text from my best friend.

  After class, I headed to the Student Union to meet Tiffany. The new crop of freshman had ascended on campus, and I couldn’t walk two feet without a group of girls giggling and pointing. It was weird—this whole celebrity thing. I wasn’t thinking about ducking out on the college experience because everyone knew me. But if this was a microcosm of what I was in for at the next level, I needed to get used to it. Maybe I needed a bodyguard.

  Tiffany stared at a group inside the door as I walked toward her.

  “Do you know them?” she asked and pointed to the freshman blond patrol. Five girls, all the same height and weight, wore tank tops and short shorts and had legs for days capped off with colorful flip flops.

  I turned back to Tiffany, her hands balled into a fist as she glared at them.

  I placed my hands on either side of her face and planted a kiss on her to let everyone know I wasn’t on the market and that Tiffany was my girl. When I let go, Tiffany’s hand were relaxed, and she had that glazed-over look on her face. I liked that look.

  She sighed, and we sat down.

  “I don’t get it. You guys are football players.”

  “Thanks, Tiff. Glad you’re not impressed.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just saying. They better leave you alone.”

  “Ignore it. It’s going to be like this during the season. Especially if we are winning.”

  “You realize it’s a game. Right? I mean, I know it’s your dream, and it’s going to be your profession, but for them, it’s just a game.”