“I’ll be back in a minute. I’m going to call your mother.”

  She answered on the fourth ring.

  “Hi Jackson.”

  Her voice sounded low and sad like she contemplated not answering, but then gave in at the last minute and now she regretted it.

  “Hi Carrington.” I got right to the point. “Jack showed up at the practice facility.”

  “Excuse me.”

  “Jackson, showed up here. He talked two kids from his school into coming with him and he’s here now.”

  “I’ll be right there.” She hung up before I could say another thing.

  It wouldn’t take her long to get here.

  I waited a few minutes and let Jack stew over what he had done.

  When I walked into the room, he opened his mouth to talk, but I shushed him.

  “Jackson, do you understand how dangerous it is for you to be riding your bike on busy streets. You are eight years old, you are not supposed to ride off your street especially not unsupervised. What if something happened? What if you had gotten hurt or worse? Can you imagine what that would do to your mother?”

  Silent tears started falling down his cheeks and I weakened.

  “Why would you do something like this?”

  “Because I wanted to see you and mom said I couldn’t.”

  “Jack-“

  “No, it’s not fair. You guys don’t like each other anymore and so I can’t hang out with you. It’s not fair.”

  “Did she say we couldn’t hang out anymore?”

  “No, but she get’s sad when every I say your name. She’s mad at you and taking it out on me and it’s not far. She’s just being mean.”

  “Jackson David, I don’t want to hear you talk about your mother like that. You have no idea what she went through brining you into this world. I’m not going to sit here and let you disrespect.”

  As I spoke, I remained calm, but firm. Tears flowed down his face. I changed my facial expressions.

  “Jack, come here.” He stood up and feel into my arms. I hugged him to my chest and waited for him to stop crying. It made me want to call my father and apologize for every stupid thing I ever did. Yelling at Jack, I felt as bad as he sounded.

  When his tears subsided, I stood him up and while I remained seated.

  “Jack, I’ve known your mother a long time and your are the most important person in her life. She has sacrificed a lot in order for you to have everything you have. She knows what’s best for you. I promise, no matter what happens between your mom and I, I will always be a part of your life. But, you have got to give your mom a break, ok? She needs you to be a little understand right now, ok?” He nodded his head and rubs his eyes.

  We both turn toward the door and watch as Carrington standing in the doorway leaning in.

  Her eyebrows raised as she surveyed the room. She walked around the perimeter of the room her focus on me. Her lips parted slightly as if ready to say something, but she smirked instead and turned her attention to Jack.

  “Jack, come on. Let’s go home.”

  We stood up and Jack walked with his head down past Carrington and into the hall.

  As I passed her, she reached out and touched my forearm.

  “Thanks for calling me.”

  “Of course.”

  I stepped back in the lobby and found the boys sitting with their shoulders slumped further.

  “Blake, Daniel, let’s go.” They both look at Margie, who nodded and they stood up.

  They all filed out of the building single file. I brought up the rear. We walked over to Carrington’s car and the three boys climbed into the back seat.

  “Don’t worry about their bikes. I’ll bring them over after practice.”

  She shield her eyes from the son and looked up at me.

  I searched her face trying to translate the look she gave me. She looked at me like she’d never seen me before.

  Chapter Twelve

  Carrington Olivia Butler

  As I drove my little dare devil home, my thoughts returned to that moment, seeing Jackson’s name on my caller id. I missed the sound of his voice and answered it, but my excitement extinguished at the tone of his voice. I knew something was off.

  I hung up with out saying goodbye, grabbed my keys and my stuff and yelled to Carrie that I would be gone the rest of the day.

  Jack’s intelligence, in most circumstances was a good thing, but sometimes it got him in trouble. We were not on good terms in the last few days after his asthma attack.

  I parked and sat in the car for a minute. I spotted a few players arriving at work. They had practice in a few minutes.

  I walked in and Blake and his little brother Daniel sat slumped down in the waiting area. They looked at me, but kept their heads lowered, their shoulders slumped and they looked defeated. I wanted to laugh, but I gave them a glare and headed to he older lady at the front desk.

  “Hello, may I help you?”

  “Yeah, I’m Carrington. I believe my son is her.”

  “You’re son.” She gave me a look over and said with uncertain.

  “With Jackson Mitchell.”

  “Oh, yes, I’m sorry. He’s down the hall. The first door on the left.”

  Jack’s skin was lighter then mine, but we looked enough alike. This lady looked at me like I was lying. I headed down the hall and turned back and found her watching me. She smiled and I turned back and found the first door on the left.

  I reached for the knob, but stopped before opening the door.

  Jackson talked to Jack and he deep muffled tone sounded angry.

  Jack’s high pitch voice pleaded his case and I wondered if Jackson would cave, but he didn’t. He spoke in a even, but firm voice. Something about his tone surprised me. He spoke to Jack like a dad. I didn’t know Jackson had that in him. Although, I imagined he would make a great dad. He had a great example growing up.

  I opened the door when they stopped talking. I locked eye with Jackson and every issue, concern, irrational fear I held disappeared. I scrunched my face and Jackson sighed and turned his attention back to Jack. I knew he misunderstood my expression. I felt lighter and calmer in his presence.

  “Jack, come one. Let’s go home.”

  He stood up and walked with his head down past me and into the hall.

  As Jackson walked pass me, I reached out and touched his forearm.

  “Thanks for calling me.”

  “Of course.”

  We arrived home and I had no clue what to say to Jack that Jackson hadn’t already said.

  “Ms. Carrington, are you going to tell our mother?” Blake asked as he walked to the back of my car.

  “No.” He let out a sigh. “You’re going to have to tell her.”

  His eyes grew wide and he shook his head. His little brother moaned and started crying. I placed my hands on his shoulder.

  “You’re not getting your bikes back until you do. You guys have until tomorrow.” I pushed him towards his house. He didn’t not want to go. He looked back. I waved him on.

  I looked back and Jack headed into the house with his head down.

  I found him sitting at the kitchen table and I stood across the table from him, leaning on the counter.

  “Are you mad at me?”

  “Not mad. Just disappointed that you didn’t come to me.” I took a seat. “Jackson David, I am your mother and I love you more then anything. I am on your side no matter what.”

  “Even with Jackson?”

  “Especially with Jackson. I know how much he means to you. I would never say you couldn’t see him.”

  “But, the game-” I shook my head.

  “Jack, you don’t get to do everything thing you want to do. No kid does. No one does.”

  He started to speak and I raised my hand to stop him, “I’m sorry. You don’t. I realize you are around people who act like they get to do and say and have anything they want, but that’s not the way the real world works and I need you to understand that all the amazing things you get to do is a privilege, not a right.”

  Jack looked at me with crazy wide eyes and I realize I may be a little over his head, but he didn’t question it. He sat looking at me waiting for me to continue.

  “I want you to have everything you want in life, but I would rather you work for it and not expect it.”

  He took a breath, stood up and came to my side of the table. He wrapped his arms around my neck and climbed in my lap.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I know.” I hugged him back, rubbed his back and felt his heart rate decrease as the worst of it was over, or so he thought. “But, you’re on punishment for a year.”

  “A year?” He gasped and leaned back.

  “Ok, maybe a week.”

  “A week.” His shoulders slumped.

  “Yes, no phone, no video games, no television, no bike, you come home after school and help Julia around the house.”

  “That’s not fair.”

  “Exactly, that’s my point.”

  “What about the game?”

  “Jack, are you listening to me at all?”

  “Yeah, but.”

  “Stop. Ok. I need you to go upstairs and stay their until I come and get you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I said so.” Yeah, I went there. I hated to throw it out there, but he pissed me off.

  He pushed off my lap and stomped up the stairs. I followed him and took the remotes and put them away.

  “Phone,” I held out my hand and he grabbed it off the desk and put it in my hand. He said something, and I raised my hand to stop him.

  He closed his mouth, flopped on his bed and crossed his arms.

  I turned and left him there and went back down stairs.

  I made it to the bottom step before I had to sit down. The weight of everything that happened today hit me all of a sudden and I needed a minute or a year to take it all in and figure it out.

  Something in the way Jackson spoke to Jack made me realize he understood. He understood better than I did. The guilt, the pressure, the fear I held on to because all I wanted my son to grow up into a good guy and not a rich entitled asshole.

  I loved Jackson and I wanted him; a strange realization after all the time and energy I spent pushing him away. I was ready to try and make it work. I hoped was that it wasn’t too late.

  I sat on that step long enough for my ass to fall asleep. Long enough for Jackson to finish practice, and drive to my house. I stood up and shook the stiffness out of my legs. I stretched and walked outside to meet him. He stood at the back of his truck pulling the bikes out of the trunk.

  “Hey,” I said as I rounded the corner. As he looked me up and down, I lost all conscious thought. I placed my hand on his truck to steady myself.

  He handed off one of the bikes and I pushed it towards the garage. He followed me with the other two.

  When they were secured in the garage, I walked up on the porch and Jackson shuffled a half step behind me.

  “Is he ok?”

  “He’s a spoiled brat, but yeah, he’s ok?”

  Jackson chuckled and I bit my lip to prevent myself from moaning. His laugh vibrated through my soul. I couldn’t wait to get to the good part where I get to hold him and hear him laugh in my ear. I fantasized about being together, staring into each others eyes and pushing each other over the edge until we couldn’t get enough of each other. And, then we would catch our breaths and do it all over again.

  “Well, I have to go.”

  Wait, what? He’s leaving already. No.

  He walked down the steps of the porch and I stood on the porch holding onto the banister and sending him all the I want you vibes I could muster.

  He stopped. He didn’t turn around right away. I tried to use Jedi mind tricks to get him to come back and you know what.

  He did.

  ***

  Jackson Latre Mitchell

  She stood on the top step staring down at me. We both mirrored each other by holding the same side of the banister for support.

  “I need to say this.”

  “Ok.” She blinked way to fast and squeezed herself. He head held high. I felt uncomfortable saying what I had to say, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

  “I want you to know that the last time we spoke, I heard you and I don’t blame you for wanting what you want. I understand it. I want that for you, too.”

  “Ok.” She said that already. I almost lost my nerve, but I powered through.

  “I’ve spent the last five years burying myself in football, becoming this notorious student of the game, but I’m not sure that really tells the whole story. Yeah, I work hard for what I do because I love it and I want to be the best, but the reason why I’ve dedicated so much time and attention to football because I didn’t have anything else that held my interested. I’ve never had to worry about finding a balance between my work and my personal life. No every asked before.” I looked past her, scared to see more indifference in her eyes, but I made myself look. I sought out her gaze and locked eyes with her. I wanted her to understand, speaking from my heart to hers and I needed her to hear it. “But I think I can do it. I am sure I can do it and I’d like to try and do it … with you.”

  She lowered he head. I needed to stop rambling and come on out a say it.

  “I love you, you know that.” She looked up and blinked. She whipped a tear off her check.

  “Being the best in the world doesn’t mean anything if I can’ t share it with you and Jackson.”

  I watched her attempted to take a step towards me, but she stopped her self.

  “Well, that’s all I-“

  I stopped speaking. Carrington stumbled down the steps and fell into my arms, her arms wrapped around my neck the cutest whimper released from he lips. I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to me. I buried my head into her neck, inhaling her everything. She felt so good in my arms. I almost forgot how good she felt. How her body fit next to mine. She wrapped her legs around my waist and I walked up the stairs and pressed her up against the door. She gasped as my lips worked their way up her neck and found her lips. She opened her mouth and my tongue touched hers and she moaned and the sensation vibrated off my tongue and I instantly got hard. I moaned and kissed her deeper.

  She removed one hand from behind my neck and we both reached for the door knob and turned it. I almost dropped her as I carried her into living room and sat on the couch. She straddle my lap. She sat back on my quads and looked at me. I took in every inch of her face. Her eyes and nose and her mouth. I loved her lips. I kissed her, drawing her lower lip into my mouth. She smiled through the kiss, which turned me on even more.

  She giggled when I released her lip and she sat back a little further.

  “You know, I wanted so bad to say you had me at hello.”

  We both laughed at the corny movie line.

  “When I came to the facility, I heard what you said to Jack.” I rubbed her thighs and encouraged her to continue. “You were so good with him. You said the right things and I realized I hadn’t been able to rely on anyone when it comes to dealing with Jack.”

  “I wanted to laugh, but I thought about what would my dad do if I had done something like that. He always got me with the disappointment look.”

  “I use that too, but it stronger coming from you.”

  “I won’t stand for him disrespecting you.” I touched her check. “Not like I did once. It is the biggest regret of my life and I am so sorry.”

  “I know. I’m sorry too.”

  “Sorry for what?”

  “For not trusting you enough to let you in.” She took my hand and laced her fingers with my. She rested it on her legs as she continued. “Back in school, I looked for an excuse to push you away because it was easier than letting you see me the way I was. I could never hide anything from you and it scared me to let you in and give up control.” I wiped a tear from her face and rubbed her check. “I have been holding on to control so tight, my bones ache and I’m exhausted. I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to do this life alone any more. Jackson, I don’t need you to be everything for me. I don’t need you to make me your number one priority. I don’t need you to take care of me.”

  “What do you need?”

  “I need you to kiss me in a way that makes me miss your kisses when your gone. I need you to hold my hand.” We looked down at our hands, “I need you to look me in my eyes and tells me everything it going to be okay every once in a while.”

  I kissed her as she asked. I pulled back and her lips followed as she rolled her hips and pressed herself into my lap.

  “Everything is going to be ok.” I emphasized the is.

  “I need you to love me.”

  “I do love you.”

  “I love you, too.” I wrapped my arm around her back, pulling her as close as possible. I reached up to her neck and guided her face towards me and kissed her deep and hard. I felt her hands working their way under my shirt. She pushed her hands up and …

  “Mama, can I come down now?”

  We froze.

  “Jack, I swear to God, if you step foot on that bottom step you are on punishment for a month.” She slid off my lap and I wanted to cry out. I liked having her snuggled up next to me like that.

  “But, isn’t Jackson, here.”

  “Jack, listen to your mother, go back to you room,” I said.

  I looked over at her and she shook and held her hand over her mouth to avoid laughing out loud.

  I shushed her.

  “Awe man.” Jack said and stomped back up the stairs.

  I reached for Carrington. I wanted her back on her lap, pressing against me. I wanted to hear and feel how much her body needed mine.

  “Carrington, you are an amazing woman.” I kissed her. “Even if you do like to drop corny movie lines into high stress emotional situations.”