“I’m still sorry. Not about him, but that you got hurt.”

  Jack crawled into her lap and hugged her tight. I caught Carrington eye, but she had to look away. She maintained control of her emotions, but we were both touched by Jack’s reaction.

  We both spent so much energy avoiding this topic with each other, my shoulders relaxed and the tension in my heart released now that it was out in the open.

  “I know baby. Thank you. I’m sorry, for not talking to you about your dad b soon. I wasn’t comfortable talking about him because I only knew him for a short time and it’s hard to remember the good things from the bad.”

  I rubbed Jack’s face and turned to Jackson. “But, Jackson knew him a long time and he has a lot of great stories about your dad. You can talk to him about Josh as much as you want.”

  “Really?” Jack asked Jackson.

  “Yeah. Anything you want to know. Josh and I met when we were your age.”

  “Cool.”

  Jack reached over and hugged Jackson, but the broadcaster announce a Florida State touchdown and Jack’s attention turned back on the game.

  Carrington and I looked at each other. She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. I pulled her close and finished watching the game with a goofy grin on my face. Not that we opened that dialogue, it seemed there was nothing stopping us from being together.

  ***

  Carrington Olivia Butler

  I wanted so much for Jack to all of a sudden sit up and start growling or something.

  Anything to get Jackson to stop watching him. I knew how he felt. I used to do that too. Especially after what we went through over the last few days. Hell, what we’ve all been through over the last seven years. I keep watching Jackson watch Jack. He looked different, more engaged, more attentive, more grounded in his life. In our life together. That’s what we were doing here, right. Engraining ourselves into each other lives because the alternative, not an option any more. I didn’t think we could not be together if we tried.

  But, like he said, he was in charge now, I will follow his lead and see where it took us because my way took us to a place I didn’t even want to exist in anymore. The place where I convinced myself daily that I didn’t need love in my life. If you have to remind yourself of something daily, their might be reason why it won’t stick. It might be because it’s bullshit.

  “What?” He caught me staring at him.

  “You can’t watch over him twenty-four/seven.”

  “I know. I’m just making sure.”

  “Making sure of what?”

  “Making sure he’s still breathing.” He raised his eyebrows and shook his head at me, then laughed.

  I looked over at Jack, stood up and reached my hand out.

  “Come on.”

  Jackson took my hand and stood. He reached out to rub Jack’s back and I led him to the front porch.

  The sun hid behind the houses, but the warm day remained in the air. I sat on the second step and Jackson sat behind me. He pulled me to his chest, wrapping his arms around my waist. I leaned my head back and we sat in silence for a long moment. I felt his heart beat in his chest and when he leaned over to kiss my neck, it increased.

  I looked at his watch.

  “You have to go, soon.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t want to.”

  I turned around. He leaned over to kiss me, but I placed my hand on his chest and held him back.

  “You have to go to work, Jackson.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “You trying to get rid of me already.” He laughed and then stopped when I didn’t join him.

  “No. Of course not, but I’m fine. Jack is fine. It’s time for you to get back to work. Where not going anywhere.”

  This time when he leaned down to kiss me, I let him. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt to make sure he didn’t pull away too soon. I loved his kisses.

  He cradled my head in his hands, not ready to let me go. We stayed that way, breathing each other in.

  I imagined we were giving the neighbors quite a show, but I didn’t care. I had my Jackson back and I didn’t care who knew it.

  His phone alarm made us stop.

  “I really hate your phone.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. You’re right. I do have to go.”

  We both stood up and Jackson walked to the bottom step. He turned and gripped the banister, I did the same.

  “What, no cheesy movie lines to seal this moment.”

  “Nothing come to mind.”

  “I got one for you,” he ran his hand through his hair. “Will you marry me?”

  “What movie is that from?” I laughed and looked down at the steps. Jackson wasn’t laughing. I look up. “What?” My eyes blinked more times in those five seconds then they had in my whole life.

  “Marry me.” My eyes teared up and I sat back down on the step. I wrapped my hand around the railing. Clinging it to it until my heart stopped pounding in my chest. The sound drown out every other sound in the world.

  Jackson kneeled in front of me. He took my hand and kissed it, his lips lingering long enough to make me let go of the breath I held. “Do you trust me?”

  I cocked my head and exhaled tried to control over my emotions, but that was short lived as Jackson reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a small velvet pouch.

  He is fucking serious.

  “Do you trust me?”

  “Uhm, I think … sure.” I shrugged my shoulders. Would my answer be the same once I saw what was in the pouch?

  He dug into the pouch and pulled out a sparkly shining ring. My eyes couldn’t see past the glare from the sun reflecting off the perfect diamond. I wondered if he planned to ask me at this precise moment giving the effect. It wouldn’t put it past him. Something Jackson Latre Mitchell would do, he was all about the details.

  “Then, say yes.” I looked down at my hand and he had already slid the ring on my finger. It didn’t feel a thing like it floated over my skin waiting for my answer.

  “You think we are ready for this. After all, we’ve only been dating for four weeks.”

  “It’s been longer than that.”

  “Oh, you mean the three weeks we dated in college.”

  “Yeah, that and seven years that I have been in love with you.” His eyes grew wide and he fidgeted while holding my hand. My reaction not what he hoped for. I felt bad about that. My eyes settled on the gleam in his eye as it faded and as the grin on his face disappeared.

  I grinned as a movie line popped into my head.

  “This is an incredibly romantic moment and I am ruining it, aren’t eye?” He watched me.

  I lost my impulsive nature back when I moved my son half way across the world to be with this man before. It made me a little gun shy. I had planned every single moment of my life from that moment since and if I were being honest, all hell had broken loose since he showed up back in my life. I shivered as I felt the weight of the ring increase. It wasn’t overbearing, it settled kind of nice; solid and secure. I bit my lip and stared back down at the ring. I knew with all my heart that I wanted to spend my life with this man.

  I laughed.

  “You’re starting to give me a complex. What’s so funny?”

  “It’s funny, back in college, I thought about what it would be like to marrying Jackson. I thought, if this guy ever knew what was running through my mind when I looked at him, he would run away fast.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  I lost my smile. His smirk warmed my heart. I peered at the ring.

  “Jackson, aren’t we doing this all wrong?” I stood up, which made him stumble back and he stood up, too. “Aren’t we supposed to date for a few years and then we get engaged. Plan the wedding for awhile and then get married.

  “According to your time table, we’ll be sixty by the time we try to have kids.”

  I frowned. “Carrington.” He grabbed my hands and wrapped them around his waist. He pulled me into his chest.

  I tried to pull back, but he placed his hand on the back of my head prevented me from going anywhere. While other women would be turned off by his possessive gestures. They had the opposite effect on me. It made me want him more.

  “Seriously, don’t you think we’ve waited long enough. Just say yes.”

  I raised my left hand and watched as the ring caught the last of the sunset. It glitter in the light and illuminated my heart. The same gleam returned to his gorgeous green eyes. I sighed and said, “Yes.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes.” I laughed.

  “See, now was that so hard.”

  “No,” I leaned back,” but is this how it’s going to be from now. You make all the big decisions in our lives.”

  “Maybe.” He looked down at me with a smirk on his face.

  “Oh great. Then, I’ll quite my job, and sit around looking pretty all day.”

  “If that’s what makes you happy. Ugh.” Jackson stepped back and rubbed his ribs where I’d hit him. I didn’t mean to hit him that hard, but I needed him to stop being so smug and listen to me.

  “Jackson Latre Mitchell. I love you and I will marry you and you know you’re probably right about most things, but you are not in charge of me. It’s not your way. Not my way and I know we don’t have much practice with this, but I hope we can find a way to do this life thing together. Ok?”

  Jackson pulled me in and his lips landed on mine, demanding and hot and amazing and the opposite of what I tried to convey with my little speech, but I didn’t care.

  I wanted to be his wife, so I gave in … this time.

  Epilogue

  Jackson returned from practice and found Carrington lying on the floor in the office in their new house in Paradise Valley. Her feet propped up on the couch opposite the bay windows that looked out onto their backyard.

  She rubbed her stomach as tears slipped out of her blinking eyes and rested on her cheeks.

  His heart sunk, but plastered a smile on his face and called her name.

  “Hey, Carr.” She had a doctor’s appointment this morning.

  She turned to him, wiped her tears, and said, “Hello.”

  “You okay?”

  He had known the answer before he asked it. They had been trying to have a baby for over a year and while there was no physical reason they couldn’t have one, Carrington somehow knew this would happen.

  He walked in and stood over her.

  “Come here,” Carrington said and waved.

  He laid next her, propped his feet up.

  “What’re doing down here?” Jackson asked.

  “Just checking out the world from this perspective.”

  “Okay. What do you think?”

  She rubbed her stomach again and although he couldn’t see her face, he imagined the tightness in his chest came from her. They were so in tune with each other’s emotions, the good as well as bad. He took her hand and kissed it. Hoping she would feel how sorry he was. They had been through this before.

  He hoped his emotions conveyed that if it didn’t happen, that was okay. She blamed herself no matter how many times he told her it wasn’t her fault.

  She pulled her hand away.

  He followed it as she pointed across the room.

  “I think we should put the crib over there.”

  Jackson propped up on his elbow. “What?”

  “Yeah, it has great light this time of day. Over here is too dark.”

  “You mean?”

  She nodded and smiled.

  I reached out and touched her stomach, leaned over and kissed it.

  “Hey, little guy.”

  “Hey, no. It’s going to be a girl,” Carrington said as Jackson reached up and kissed her.

  “I don’t care. I just hope it knows how much it’s going to be loved.”

  Turns out they were both right.

  Justin and Jessica Mitchell were born nine months later and everyone is doing fine.

  The End

  If you enjoyed Carrington & Jackson’s love story, please leave a review. They would appreciate it.

  Bonus Material

  Hope for Us

  Alternative Ending

  Epilogue

  Jackson David Butler Griffin Mitchell

  Ok, I know. It’s a ridiculous name, but I didn’t want to leave anyone out. All first names, too. I figure if I want to every change my name, I have plenty to choose from. I can be Griffin Butler or Butler Jackson. Even Mitchell David sounded cool. Kind of like Bruce Wayne. At the moment, its pretty cool being Jackson Mitchell.

  Mom and Dad are good. Oh, yeah. I started calling Jackson Dad around the time he a mom got married. It came out one night as we sat around having dinner. No one would have thought anything of it if mom hadn’t got a teary eyed and mushy about it. It felt natural

  My asthma has been under control for a while. I didn’t have anymore episodes like the one I had at eight and I grew out of most of my allergies. Although, a peanut could still literally kill me.

  Mom and Dad let me start football at fourteen. I played quarterback for the Rangers in a country league. I am pretty good and although every one has these huge expectations on my because my dad is a two time Super Bowl and League MVP NFL quarterback, he reminds me every day that the only thing he expects from me is to work hard and respect the game.

  Next year I get to try out for my high school team.

  Our family of three became five about four years ago. I think it took mom a while to get pregnant and once she was, she was super careful. I figure it should have been a breeze. No way what happened to her before could happen now.

  Justin and Jessica, J1 & J2, enter this world with now issues. I like being a big brother and they love me a lot.

  Watching the twins grow up, it’s crazy to see after sharing a womb they can be so different. Jessica is out going and loud, but funny as heck. Justin, is serious and shy, but super smart.

  And, everyone in my life talks to me about Josh. It’s so weird. I feel like he is two different people, too. I get the sad, sick guy and the loyal and funny, best friend Josh. And, these stories come up in the strangest moments. Like each person in my family, Mom, Dad, Uncle David, Aunt Erin, Aunt Amanda, Grand pa Griffin and lets not forget my two other sets of Grand parents, are assigned a certain story to tell in a certain tone. What no one has figured out is, I don’t care.

  Over time, I pieced together the story of my real dad and although I don’t understand it completely, I don’t think of it has anything to do with me either. I don’t even think of Josh as my dad. I never even met him, so how can I be effected my someone I never met and didn’t know.

  Hope for Him

  Writing Journal

  Today’s Date: June 30, 2014

  Word Count: 50, 260

  Observations: I won another JuNoWriMo and I am so proud of myself. It wasn’t a smooth June, but I got my 50,000 words in. I remember when I could easily finish off a 70,000 word novel in one month, but that was before I had a published novel under my belt that derived some promotion love as well. Oh, and did I mentioned the other duties such as CP and Betas and then there is the upcoming novels in the works. I told my PR person that this must be what it’s like to be an author. You have to be open and flexible to different stages of different projects at the same time. I will continue to finish this novel at at least 70,000 and edit and promote and repeat until I die. I like this life. I wrote the pivotal scene and it was harsh, but it took a turn. I love those unexpected turns. I never know what it’s going to happened and it makes it so much more fun. Almost done with another MS and I am pretty excited to be moving forward as an AUTHOR!!!

  Today’s Date: June 25, 2014

  Word Count: 1,678

  Observations: I’ve figured the best way to have confidence in what your writing is to get feedback on something you’ve already written. I got feedback from two betas and they loved Hope for Her, I got a five star review and four star review on ANL. What in the world. It’s good to be a writer.

  More emotional scenes today. A first date, eighteen months after their first meeting in the same place they first met. Clever. Why aren’t boys in real life as considerate as the boys in my books. Still need to create more scenes, but I think I’ll write the end and go back and add more scenes later.

  Today’s Date: June 24, 2014

  Word Count: 2,250

  Observations: Still a little behind. Still not writing every day. Still not sure if I can finish the story by July 1st (will no doubt win JuNo, though), but none of that matters. I love this story. It’s getting easier to writer.

  Easier to get into the characters voice. The dual POV is such challenge, but I’m starting to make Jackson sound like a man. Carrington has her smart assness back. It’s been so much fun to write.

  And, I am still inventing scenes. Today, I added a phone call scene and a pre-first date scene. I promise it’s not filler. Some amazing things are being discovered through these scenes. Mainly, how attracted my characters are towards each other. That’s the good part. Hoping for more of the same to close out this JuNoWriMo.

  Today’s Date: June 22, 2014

  Word Count: 4,285

  Observations: I fully realize this is my story and I know how it’s supposed to be written, but after today’s session, I feel sad. This story is sad and the ending is kind of sad and I am thinking it might the be to sad. I’m not one of those who always needs a happy ending, but (and curse me for think like this) I don’t want to loose readers with to much seriousness. Please everyone, just wait for Book #3. It’s not all sulky sadness.

  Today’s Date: June 21, 2014

  Word Count: 4,511

  Observations: I spent another Saturday in my room writing. I wrote all day, but it was slow going. The words were coming kind of slow and I had some hard scenes to get through. I keep adding scenes which is good because the story isn’t nearly long enough. I think I’ll make the 50,000 no problem, but I really need to finish this story before the end of June. I need to find scenes for another 15,000 to 20,000 words. 25,000 would be ideal. Might need to get creative and do some b story scenes. Now, which way to go, Kayla’s b-story or Mr. Griffin’s b-story. Decisions, Decisions.