“Jackson.”

  I bent down and picked him up. I squeezed him tight and he giggled, which made me laugh. He had grown. I put him down and ruffled his sandy blond hair. He had his father’s hair.

  “Hey Jack. It’s so good to see you.”

  I looked up and Carrington watched us with a slight smile on her face.

  “You really moving here?”

  “As of today, I am an Arizona Cardinal.”

  “That’s so cool.”

  “Yeah, it is.” I stood up and he put his arms around my waist and I rested my arm on top of his head. “You’re getting tall.”

  “Come in and see my room.”

  I checked with Carrington and she nodded.

  Jack grabbed my hand and pulled me up the porch steps and into the house.

  As soon as we entered the house, we headed up the stairs. It went by too fast for me to process anything on the first floor. The top of the stairs opened into a game room with a couch on one wall and an entertainment center with a flat screen hung on the opposite wall. Controls from an Xbox game lay strewn on the floor, I had to side step them as Jack dragged me through the game room to his bedroom.

  He flipped on a light and colors assaulted my eyes. He decked the room out in equal parts Charger and FSU memorabilia.

  “Wow.”

  “Mom and I went a little over board.”

  “You mom did this.” I survey the room, I thought she would have avoided having so much of me staring her in the face every day.

  “We collected stuff over the years.”

  “Well I guess we need to get you some Arizona Cardinal stuff now.”

  “No, that’s ok. I don’t need this stuff anymore. You’re here, now.” I smiled and hugged him.

  God, I love this kid.

  He did more for my ego than any touchdown ever did.

  ***

  Carrington Olivia Butler

  Jackson stayed upstairs with Jack for awhile. They both came back down all red faced and smiling. Jack wheezing a little, but he was so happy, I didn’t want to spoil his fun by reminding him to calm down. They were so cute together.

  “Ok, J. Say goodbye to Jackson, it’s time for bed.”

  “Oh, mama.”

  “Hey man.” He put his arm around his shoulder and gave him a quick squeeze. “Listen to your mother. I have to go anyway.”

  “Have fun at camp,” Jack said as he let go and headed towards the stairs.

  “Brush your teeth and I’ll be up in a minute.”

  “Can I show Jack our backyard and our mountain before he goes?”

  “No, Jack. You can show him next time.”

  “Night buddy.”

  Jack turned back and give Jackson one more hug.

  “Jackson David Butler. Go to bed.”

  “Ok, but, one more thing.”

  “No more things, go,” I stomped and pointed up the stairs, my face remained firm, but I could feel Jackson trying not to laugh, which made me want to laugh.

  When he made it up and out of ear shot, Jackson and I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

  “Shh.” I said and waved him out to the porch.

  I stood on the porch and stretched my arm behind my back and took in a deep breath. I loved the cool nights in Arizona. Makes the heat bearable.

  “He is exactly the same.”

  “I know, right.” I turned to Jackson. “He misses you.”

  “I miss him, too.”

  “You know, I don’t think I ever thanked you for make the effort. You know to stay in his life. It really meant a lot to him. A lot to me.”

  “Well, I take my godfather duties seriously.”

  I smiled and sat down on a step. Jackson sat next to me.

  “You don’t have to thank me, I’ve loved that kid all his life. Despite what happened between us, I wasn’t going to let that change. Thank you for letting me see him.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “It would have been nice to see you during some of those time, too.”

  “I know. At first it was just too hard, but then I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me. You were pretty angry at me.”

  “Yeah, I was.”

  I turned to face him to defend myself, but he looked so handsome and sweet sitting next to me on my porch, any anger I felt earlier disappeared. I studied the contours of his face. He strong jaw with a hint of stubble. His perfect proportioned noise, his lips. The side of his lip turned up at the corner and I wanted to lean in and kiss that spot. Did it feel the same, taste the same? Would all the years we spent apart making being with him feel familiar like going home or would it be exciting, different and new?

  If he turned his face towards me, I would find out, but he didn’t.

  “I better head to the hotel,” he said. He reached out and grabbed my leg and gave it a squeeze. If he thought it would be a neutral place to touch me, he was wrong. I froze. I reached for his hand, but he stood up and stretched. I rubbed the spot where he touched, let it seep into my nervous system as goose bump broke out on my skin. He headed down the walkway and I studied his back side. It hit me, the difference between Jackson then and now. Now, Jackson was a grown man.

  Half way down, he turned and smirked. He caught me checking him out. I tried to avert my eyes, but something about the way he stared at me held my gaze. He licked his lips and I did the same, waiting for him to do something … anything to break the tension. I was ready to admit what had been building since he walked into that conference room. I blinked and smiled.

  “God, Carrington.” He ran his hands through his hair. Something I watched him do thousand of times before. “You look so beautiful.” He paused and started walking backwards towards his car. “It’s good to see you. I’ll talk to you soon?”

  He smiled and gave me a slight wave, turned, got in his car and drove away.

  I choked on my own spit, not realizing I hadn’t taken a breath in the last five minutes.

  I made sure Jack got to bed okay and put my phone on the charger. I had missed calls from Kayla. I climbed into bed and called her back. She answered and spoke before the phone rang.

  “You’re still in love with him.”

  “What?” I sat up in bed and looked at the phone.

  “You are still in love with him.” She said emphasizing every other word.

  “Wait. What are you talking about?”

  “You didn’t call me.”

  “I’m sorry. Did you take a crazy pill today? Speak so I can understand.”

  “Jackson gets traded …”

  “Yeah.”

  “To the city where you currently live …”

  “Kayla, speak in complete sentences.”

  “If it was no big deal, you would have called me and told me, but the fact you purposely trying to avoid the topic like you always do means you’re still in love with Jackson Latre Mitchell.”

  “And this pleases you some how.”

  “Of course, because you and Jackson are finally back together again. No more stupid, lame, idiotic, stubborn, unromantic excuses allowed.”

  “You see. That’s why I didn’t call you. I have dinner with Jackson and you have us picking out china patterns and ignoring the whole reason we didn’t end up together in the first place.”

  “You had dinner with Jackson? You saw him already?”

  Shit, I guess there was no way for her to know that already.

  “Uhhu.”

  “Uhuh what?”

  “You see him, you have dinner and don’t call me.” She sighed. “You’re still in-“

  “Kayla, stop saying that.”

  “Uh hu.”

  “I’m hanging up. Bye.”

  “Wait. No don’t hang up. I’m sorry.”

  “Ok.”

  “So what happened?”

  “Well, I told you before our firm represents the Cardinals. Adam had me meet with him to go over his contract and make sure he signed it before he reported to training camp tomorrow.”

  “Doesn’t Adam know about your history?”

  “I don’t think so. He knows about Josh and I, but that’s about it.”

  “How did he look?”

  “You’ve seen him on TV.”

  “That not the same. How did he look?”

  “He looked good.”

  “Good?” she sighed, “Jackson Latre Mitchell has never looked good. He is the finest man on the planet.”

  “Oh thanks.” Kayla’s husband Jamie spoke in the back ground.

  “Present company excluded sweetie.” She said and I herd a muffled exchange, but it didn’t sound like their usual so sweet it hurts type of banter. She returned to the phone. “So, how did you feel seeing him again?”

  “I don’t know. Part of me felt angry and then it was nice and then he said something and I said something and we got angry all over again.”

  “Yeah, well, point proven. If you didn’t still care, it would have been two old friend catching up.”

  “At times it felt like that, too.” The thought of what it would be like to kiss him entered my head and I had to shake my head back an forth to get it out.

  “Do you think he still has feelings for you?”

  “I don’t know, but he did tell me I was beautiful.”

  “That’s it. Weak line. ”

  “No, he came over to see Jack and we were sitting on the porch and he got up to leave, and squeezed my my leg and told me I was beautiful.” My heart melted.

  “Oh my God. Did you run and jump in his arms after that.”

  “Well no.”

  “No? Well how did you leave it?”

  “He kind of paused and then said he would talk to me soon … and left.”

  “He’ll talk to you soon. What does that mean?”

  “Kayla, I don’t know. It means … he’ll talk to me soon. I mean, the man is reporting to training camp tomorrow. He is trying to win a job on a new team. He doesn’t need any distractions. I can’t sit here and analyze every words of every sentence, I’m exhausted.”

  Jackson had a knack for saying the right things at the right time. He would make a statement or a gesture that if I thought about it made me warm and giddy, even seven years later. I could conger up a wink or smile he threw my way and it would make me high for the rest of the day. After I told him we shouldn’t see each other, he respected my wishes because he knew it was what I needed to do to stay sane.

  But, thing were different now. We were different now. I had no clue what he thought anymore.

  “Ok. Will you answer one question and I promise to leave it alone.”

  “You won’t leave it alone. I know you Kayla Griffin.”

  “Ok, but I will try. I won’t bring it up again unless you bring it up first.”

  “Ok, what’s your questions?”

  “When you saw him, what was the first emotion you felt?”

  I laughed. Leave it to Kayla to get right down to the heart of the matter. I thought about it and one word kept flashing in my head in hot pink neon lights.

  “Lust.”

  Kayla giggled, which turned into a cackle. She came undone. “Good night, Kayla. Love you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Wait-.”

  I hung up before she could said another word.

  I flipped on sports network, slid down under the covers. A highlight reel of Jackson played in the background as the announcers discussed the trade.

  “I think this is a good move for Arizona. They need something like a quarterback controversy to give them a spark.” One former player turned sportscaster said.

  “The quarterback controversy isn’t going to help that defense. They were twentieth in the league last year in stopping the run.”

  “That’s because all teams did was run on them in the third in forth quarter. Teams didn’t have to out score the Cardinals. They needed to score last with the Cardinals.”

  “Well, all I know is the Arizona sports landscape got a boost on the attractiveness scale with the addition of Jackson Mitchell.” The token pretty blonde girl on the set chimed in.

  Bitch, keep your eyes off my man.

  I shut off the television and laughed at myself as I drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter Four

  Jackson Latre Mitchell

  I drove around for an hour trying to find the team hotel. I couldn’t remember the name and the battery on my phone died. I checked into a hotel close by, plugged in my phone and collapsed until my phone ringing woke me up.

  “Jackson, thank God. Where the hell are you?”

  “Good morning,” I groaned and sat up rubbing my eyes.

  “You didn’t check in last night. Where are you?”

  “My phone died and I was to tired to wait for it to charge, I checked into a hotel.”

  “Some intern said you went home with a girl from the law firm and I was like, no. No way would you get involved with Carrington that quick.” He shuffled some papers, “That doesn’t sound like you.”

  “No, I don’t work that fast.”

  “Yeah, because there is no way you would be putting yourself through that again.”

  “Put myself through what exactly?” I stared down at the phone.

  “I’m just say, considering what happened between the two of you.”

  “How do you know what happened between the two of us? You weren’t there.”

  “I know. You’re right. I’m sorry I brought it up. It won’t happen again.”

  I rubbed my face and swung my legs over the edge of the bed.

  I dated a few girls over the last four years. When I say dated, I mean I slept with a few girls and allowed them to tell their friend they were dating an NFL quarterback. No relationship lasted longer then a season at a time, a fair arrangement. I tried not to get involved with anyone at all. I made that mistake before and it bit me in the ass. The only reason I gave my last serious girlfriend in college a shot, I thought Carrington and I had no hope, but then she showed up and I fucked it all up.

  Over the last few years, I held out hope that some how Carrington and I would end up together. I figured we would run into each other sometime and remember our initial attraction. Having a serious girlfriend would put a wrench in my fantasy.

  I practiced discretion and choose smart when it came to women I dated. After the draft, at the Rookie Symposium, they held a seminar about identifying and staying away from women who made it their full time job to get knocked up my a professional athlete. I wasn’t hiring.

  Besides, I wasn’t attracted to easy woman. I liked my woman complicated and difficult. Must be the reason why I still loved Carrington. I never meet anyone more complicated than Carrington Olivia Butler.

  “You want me to send someone to come get you?”

  “Michael, I am more then capable of finding my way to practice now that my phone works.”

  “Ok. I’ll let them know I found you and you will report on time.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. This is the beginning of a new chapter for you. You’re going to do big things in Arizona. You excited?”

  “I’m excited.”

  “I can’t hear you, are you excited.”

  “I’m excited!” I stand up and laugh. I loved my agent, but I think he watched Jerry MacGuire one too many times. I showed, got dressed and headed to training camp.

  When I pulled in the parking lot of the practice facility, Cameron stood out front with his arms crossed.

  “I hope she was good.” I glared and walked right past him into the hotel. He jogged behind me to catch up. “You can check in back here.”

  “Listen, Cameron, I appreciate the hospitality. Don’t you have something else you need to be doing?”

  “No, I’m good.”

  “Well, son, go find something,” Coach Crawford’s booming voice echoed off the walls and the intern looked like a deer caught in head lights. “Jackson Mitchell, how the hell are you?”

  “Hi Coach.” I shook his hand firm and tried to match his strength as I starred over him. The sixty eight year old man’s sold frame intimidated the most confident guy. Coach Crawford had been with the Cardinals for three years, after spending the majority of his coaching career at UCLA as an assistant and then the head coach for twelve years. As I watched him over the years, he never smiled, he had a reputation for being fair, but tough, but you weren’t scared of him. I couldn’t wait to pick his football brain.

  He reminded me of my coach in high school. If you worked hard for him, he took care of you. Coach Crawford, had the same reputation.

  “Come on in and lets have a chat.”

  I followed him down a corridor into a what looked like the team meeting room.

  “How you feeling?”

  “I’m good, sir.”

  “The leg bother you any more.”

  “Not even a little. It’s healed.”

  “Good, good. I’m glad to hear it.” He sat down on one of the tables, I didn’t know whether to sit in a chair or on the table across from him. I stayed standing.

  “I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to let you know, I was ready to draft you five years ago, even tried to trade up to get you, but it didn’t work out.”

  “No, I didn’t know that.”

  “Yeah, well, we ended up with Samson. Don’t get me wrong. He is a capable quarterback, but dammit, I don’t want a capable quarterback. I want someone who’s hungry. Someone who works hard, who leads, who wants to win.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Now, to be fair, I gave Samson this same speech yesterday, but it’s what you do with the information, what you show me out on that practice field and in the preseason games that will determine who is going to lead this team at the beginning of the season. The job’s here for you to win or loose. I’m keeping an open mind.”

  “Yes sir. I appreciate that.”

  “I won’t bullshit you, Jackson. These guys think they are Sampson’s guys, but honestly, they are looking for a leader. They are craving someone to lead them. You perform and don’t give them a reason to not follow you. We clear?”