“Nervous. Mr. Football star was nervous talking to little ol’ me.” She spoke in a made up Southern accent that was sexy as hell.

  “Yeah, well, I didn’t have any game back then.”

  “Oh, yeah, but you have game now?” she asked.

  “Wait and find out.”

  “Okay, that’s it for me. I can’t stand here and listen to this without having the urge to use this ammunition in the future. I know myself,” Jeff said as he sat two plates in front of us. On the plate was my favorite Subway sandwich and barbecue chips. “So, here’s the food. Enjoy. Carrington, gorgeous. J, do the damn thing. Dude, I’m out.”

  He saluted and headed for the door.

  “Thanks, man,” I said as he walked out. I relaxed as the door closed behind him.

  I turned back to Carrington, and she was staring at me.

  “What?”

  “I don’t know. I’m happy to be here. Happy we made it this far.” Carrington took a bite of her sandwich. “Happy to have you as a friend.”

  “I’m happy you’re here, too.” I joined her in enjoying the sandwich.

  “I wasn’t sure we would make it.”

  When she finished chewing, she said, “Nice job on the cuisine by the way.”

  “Yeah, they wouldn’t let me bring in anything that smelled up the place.”

  She smiled, and I swore I felt it everywhere. It was like her smile was connected to my nervous system.

  “I love it. You don’t have to impress me for us to have a good time together.”

  “I know. It’s weird, I feel like we already know so much about each other. Like we’ve been dating for—”

  “Like two years.”

  “I was going to say two months, but yeah, maybe.”

  “It’s kind of disappointing, like, we skipped over the whole getting-to-know-you giddy, can’t-take-our-hands-off-each-other stage.”

  “We don’t have to, you know. I like the sound of the can’t-take-our-hands-off-each-other stage. Let’s hang out there for a while.” I took her hand and brought it to my lips. She smiled, but it wasn’t genuine. She was right about one thing, we’ve known each other for too long not to be straight with each other. I let go of her hand. “This wasn’t my first plan for a first date.”

  “No.”

  “I had this whole elaborate plan two years ago. I was going to talk you into skipping class and drive out to Seminole Lake. We would take a canoe out on the lake and find a quiet place and have a picnic.”

  “Oh, that sounds cool. We can still do that.”

  “Yeah. Then our second date was going to be something low key like dinner and a movie.”

  “You had it all figured out.” We continued to eat. “What about the third date?”

  “Well, at this point, we would be hanging out every day and this would go on for about three weeks. We’d be having dinner in the Student Union, and you would turn to me and say, how come we never go on dates anymore.”

  “I would never say something like that.”

  “Shh. This is my fantasy.” She smiled, and my mind went blank. “So, then I would tell you I had this big day planned for Sunday, and I would pick you up early and we would drive down to Ocala Lake and I would show you my family’s lake house.”

  “That sounds like fun.”

  “We’d hang out by the lake and take out the jet skis and as the sun set over the lake, we would build a fire and snuggle under a blanket and watch the stars.”

  “Nice.”

  “And then you’d seduce me and I would resist, but then you would take all your clothes off and I am a man, after all. I wouldn’t be able to resist.”

  “You are so full of shit.” His laugh filled the room.

  “Well, that’s the way I saw it going, anyway.”

  “Well, you are right about one thing.”

  “What?”

  “You wouldn’t have been able to resist me.”

  She smiled and stared out the window leaving me speechless.

  My pulse increased.

  Did she know how much her smile and touch made me forget who I was? Did I do the same for her? I wanted her so bad, but something in the back of my mind kept nagging at me. I was back to my original dilemma. I knew her enough to know something was going on with her. Something she wasn’t ready to share with me. Something I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear.

  She had the weight of the world on her shoulders. Behind the sexy, confident demeanor, I saw deep in her eyes the self-doubt. I needed to bring this date back to the present. We couldn’t go back and recreate something that never happened. We weren’t the same people.

  I needed to concentrate on building our relationship from this point forward and forget about what could have been.

  After dinner, we walked over to the parking garage and got in my truck. I drove her back home, and we sat in the driveway. I held her hand and felt like I was on my first date when I was in the tenth grade. I had no idea what that girl was thinking either, but I didn’t want anything but to get in her pants. Things were so much simpler back then.

  “Thanks for tonight,” she said. “I had fun.”

  “Thanks for coming.” I turned, and her face was inches away from mine. I smelled her perfume. If she blinked, I would feel the wind gust on my cheek. Her lips looked so inviting from this vantage point. I only needed a centimeter more of courage and they would be mine, but I froze. I didn’t want to freak her out.

  I was the fucking quarterback of the No. 2 ranked team in the nation and I couldn’t close the deal. The same thing happened in the tenth grade.

  Carrington put us both out of our misery. She pressed her lips to mine. Closed lip and over too quick, but I’d take it. I sighed and smiled as she jumped out of the truck and walked into her house.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Carrington Olivia Butler

  I arrived at the stadium suite early. It allowed Jack the opportunity to explore. He ran to the front of the suite, fearless.

  Kayla walked in thirty minutes later with a Hispanic guy.

  “Kaya.” Jack came running over to her and held his arms up.

  “Oh my goodness, how is my little Jack,” Kayla said. She hugged and tickled Jack and the guy stared in horror. Maybe he didn’t like kids.

  “Hi. I’m Carrington.” He straightened his face, but a cocky smirk appeared.

  “Hello.”

  “And, you are?”

  “Girl, you don’t know me?”

  I squinted my eyes and turned to Kayla, but she took off with Jack.

  “I’m sorry. Have we met?”

  “Grayson.” He took my hand and kissed it. “My friends call me G’son.”

  “Well, Grayson.” I retrieved my hand and swallowed to keep down what was threatening to come up, “nice to meet you. Help yourself to the food.”

  “Any alcohol in the place?”

  “You can order from the waiter.” I turned and felt self-conscious from him checking out my ass. I heard him suck his teeth as I walked backward over to Kayla.

  “Who the fuck is that?” I whispered in her ear.

  “Grayson. I met him at a party last night and invited him to the game. Is that okay?”

  “Well, this is more your suite than mine,” I said. The suite was named The Griffin Suite, but Mr. Griffin gave it to me so that Amanda and Erin could spend time with Jack.

  “I know he’s kind of cocky, but he’s so hot and an amazing kisser.”

  “Kayla, what about Jamie?” She never mentioned him anymore.

  “Well, Jamie isn’t here, is he?”

  She headed over to see what Jack was pointing at, and I saw her eyes getting all misty. I didn’t have a chance to ask her more because Amanda and Erin arrived.

  Amanda was a brighter version of the person I met last year. Her blond hair was longer and flowed down her back. Her eyes appeared brighter, and she stood taller. Divorce agreed with her.

  Erin had grown her hair out and had lost weight. She fidgeted with her clothes and her eyes darted around, but she smiled when she saw me.

  I crossed the suite, and Amanda embraced me before I could speak. She held on for a long time, and as the claustrophobia set in, she pulled back but then pulled me in for another quick embrace.

  “Amanda, are you okay?”

  She let go but held me at arm’s length. Tears formed in her eyes, and Erin looked off, avoiding a total breakdown by them both.

  “I’m fine,” she said. “You look amazing, and I am so glad you invited us.”

  I averted my eyes and blinked. Why was I getting so emotional?

  “Jack, come here.”

  Jack ran over to me and clung to my leg. I picked him up. “Jack, this is Aunt Amanda and Aunt Erin.”

  He held out his hand and shook like a perfect gentleman.

  “Hi, sweetie. Aren’t you a cute little thing?”

  “Say hello to Aunt Erin,” I said.

  “Hi.” He waved at her and pointed over my shoulder. “Football.” But it came out more like foobaa.

  As soon as I set him down, he headed back to the front of the suite to watch the pre-game warm-ups. He passed Kayla on his way.

  “Hi, Amanda.” They shared air kisses on each cheek, “Erin, you look great.”

  “Kayla, it’s so good to see you. It’s been a while,” Amanda said.

  “Great to see you, too.”

  “Wow, look at this bevy of beauties we have here,” Grayson said. I flinched. “Introduce me, too.”

  “Yes, Carrington. Who is your friend?” Amanda asked.

  “He’s not my friend,” I said shaking my head.

  “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” Kayla said under her breath. She walked over to Grayson, grabbed his hand, and pulled him out of the suite.

  “Babe, what’s up? Aren’t you going to introduce me?”

  “Sorry about that. Apparently, Kayla is making new friends.” I turned to Amanda. “Why would you think he belonged to me?”

  “Come on, Carrington, don’t be so sensitive. Oh, I don’t know. You have a thing for hot cocky guys who have an over-exaggerated sense of themselves.”

  “I think you’re describing yourself,” Erin said to her sister.

  “Yeah, maybe.” Amanda laughed.

  “Come on, Carrington. You’re part of the family. We can tease you, can’t we?”

  “What makes me part of your family exactly? Your brother knocked me up, and my son is your nephew, but we’re not family.”

  “Come on, you two. Let’s not argue. We’re here to spend time with Jack.”

  Amanda headed over to talk to Jack and left Erin and I alone.

  “You really do look great,” I said.

  “Thank you.” She straightened her skirt. “You want to grab some food.”

  I followed her.

  “You look good, too. How does it feel being back at FSU?” she asked.

  “It’s been better than I expected.”

  “Yeah, that’s great.”

  Jack squealed, pointed, and yelled, “Jaja, Jaja.”

  I grinned and turned back to Erin. “So, you and Jackson, huh?”

  “We’re friends.”

  “And the fact that he broke up with his girlfriend has nothing to do with you?”

  “How do you know that?”

  “We’re Griffins. We know everything.”

  I wished she were kidding. We sat side-by-side, watching Amanda and Jack.

  “He looks like Josh, doesn’t he?”

  “He acts like him, too.” I turned to face her. “They have the same eyes.”

  “Is that hard for you?”

  “No. I don’t think of Josh when I look at him.” She lowered her head and moved the food around her plate with her fork. I placed my hand on her arm. “I don’t hate Josh.”

  “I know.” She wiped her eyes with her napkin. “It’s all I see when I look at him.”

  “I think that’s okay for you. He didn’t try to kill you,” I whispered.

  Erin’s head turned toward me, and I was thankful for Kayla’s perfect timing.

  “Okay, Grayson is gone,” Kayla said. “So, Erin, what have you been up to?”

  I left them and headed over to the front of the suite to watch the game. Jack and his Aunt Amanda were having a great time, and I was happy about that. I wanted him to get to know his family, but it didn’t change the way I felt about them or the way they felt about me.

  I turned back around and watched Kayla. She avoided the bat shit crazy Griffin women curse. I shook my head.

  Although, she was dating a man who went to the same charm school as Amanda’s ex-husband.

  ***

  The Seminoles had this one in the bag pretty early and Jackson came out of the game in the fourth quarter. Jack had worn himself out cheering and took a nap on the couch in the back of the suite. It gave Amanda, Erin, and I a chance to talk.

  Kayla tried to make her exit, but I threatened to tell her father about G’son if she left me alone.

  Erin broke the ice.

  “How often do you see Daddy?” she asked. I bit my lip to avoid laughing. Here was a forty-year-old woman referring to her father as daddy.

  “Mr. Griffin… I’ve seen him twice since we moved back. Both times at football games and he took us and Jackson’s parents out to dinner.”

  “Daddy and Mr. Mitchell aren’t friends.”

  “Yeah, that’s what Jackson said, but they got along. Spent the entire time agreeing on why they won’t let Jackson throw more.”

  “Does Jack like him?”

  “Oh yeah, they are best buddies. It’s kind of cute, actually.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and showed them a photo of Mr. Griffin and Jack.

  “Oh, can you send that to me. I want to have it framed,” Erin said, but she handed it back when Amanda hit her with her elbow.

  “Why haven’t you spoken with Mr. Griffin?” I might as well get right to it. This was the reason they were here. Although he didn’t put me up to it, I hoped they would give their father another chance.

  “Are you serious?” Amanda stood up from her chair and went to the bar, talking over her shoulder. “After what he did, you’re asking us that question?”

  “I know why I have a problem with him, but you guys seemed to be fine with him when he was an arrogant, ignorant, pompous ass. Now that he’s trying to do better, you shut him out.”

  “Who appointed you Daddy’s advocate?”

  “Yeah, Carrington, you are going a little overboard on the Mr. Griffin is a saint train,” Kayla said.

  “Kayla, at least you talk to the man.”

  “Well, he’s not my father.”

  “I guess I don’t understand why you stop talking to him now. It might have done some good if you had stepped up before.”

  “What, you think Josh would still be here if we had?” Erin crossed her arms over her chest. “What about the fact that if Josh had never met you, then he’d still be here? What do you have to say about that?”

  I shut my mouth because Erin’s usual passive nature seemed to take a backseat to this confrontational version, and I was a little scared. I would have expected that from Amanda. Amanda joined us with a glass of wine in her hand filled to the rim.

  “Listen, Carrington, I can’t speak for Erin, but I hold an enormous amount of guilt over what happened to Josh and what happened to you, too. I am glad that Daddy is doing the right thing and taking care of Jack. I’m just not ready to be under his hand, yet. I spent eight years married to a man who lied and cheated on me and treated me like crap for no good reason at all. And I stayed with him because I was too afraid of what my father would say if I left him. Griffins don’t get divorced.”

  Kayla shook her head in agreement. I forgot she was a Griffin, too. From the stories she told, her side of the family was nowhere as volatile as Josh’s side of the family. How could two parts of the same family have such a different reality?

  Mr. Griffin and Kayla’s father were brothers. Mr. Griffin was ten years older than Kayla’s dad was and he wasn’t the oldest son. Kayla’s father didn’t have as much pressure on him as Mr. Griffin did growing up.

  Josh told me how his mother almost got his father to give up his family responsibilities and travel the world playing the guitar. When it came right down to it, upon graduation he went to work for his father and never left. Mr. Griffin was stuck. Being with me gave Josh an out, but in the end, I guess the pressure got to him. And instead of being stuck, he ended it.

  The history of the Griffin family would make an epic novel with six volumes of material. My little drama, the African American woman with the illegitimate biracial son, would take up maybe a page or two.

  When I reflected on the situation, it gave me an interesting perspective. Just a fraction of what I’ve endured is more than what most people experienced their whole life.

  Mr. Griffin was different the first time I met him. I would feel better if those who had known him longer accepted his change in character. For all I knew, he turned into a saint once a decade and we happened to get lucky.

  “I can’t begin to understand what you guys have gone through all your life. It’s probably easy for me to accept your father has changed because he allowed me to do all of this on my own terms and he can’t hold anything over me, but I am asking you for Jack’s sake and your kids’ sake to at least give him a try. Grandchildren are his thing. If you won’t let him in as a father, let him be a grandfather to your kids.” I reached out and touched Amanda’s arm, and she nodded and took a sip of her wine.

  Erin’s face dropped. My approach didn’t quite work on her. She had no kids, but whatever Amanda decided, Erin would follow along. They asked more questions about Jack, but no other questions about Jackson and me. I was happy about that because I wasn’t ready to discuss that with more Griffins. Since they had known Jackson longer than I had, I was sure they had opinions, but nothing I needed to hear. I needed to figure Jackson and I out for myself.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Carrington Olivia Butler

  Jackson and I spent a lot of time together, and our relationship moved forward—slowly, but forward. Besides our short makeout sessions, we pretty much acted the same as before he broke up with Tiffany. Only difference was I knew that when he went home at night, he wouldn’t be going home to her.