I heard her smile over the speaker phone when the receptionist announce me and she said, send him back.

  She opened the door and waited for me at the end of the hall, as I passed several cubicles the entire floor stopped what they were doing to watch me walk by.

  My girl looked excited to see me and I hated I might cause her any ounce of anxiety or pain.

  I stepped through her door, closed it and pulled her in my arms. I needed to hold her, give me some strength before telling her what I had to tell her.

  She purred in my arms, “I have been thing about you all day.”

  “Me, too.” I kissed her. “You look so hot when you’re in lawyer mode.”

  She giggled as I pressed my lips below her ear.

  She pulled back and looked at me and her face dropped.

  “What’s going on?” She asked.

  I shook my head, amazed our connection returned so quick. I couldn’t hide anything from her. I hated being the one to take that gorgeous smile off her face, considering what she told me last night.

  I took her hand and lead her to a chair opposite her desk. I sat down and pulled her in my lap. She adjust to face me.

  “Michael’s office had been working with the Tallahassee Democrat. They want to do an article on me. We’ll it seems after yesterday’s announcement, the want to add our story to the article.” I gestured between her and I.

  “Tell them no.”

  “Yeah, I could, but then they might consider running it anyway and speculating on the stuff that isn’t factual. At least if I answer the questions, I can control the content a little better.”

  “Tell them what exactly.”

  I pulled out my phone and opened the email from my agent.

  She took my phone, and retreated to behind her desk.

  I watched her as she read through the questions, her eyes narrowing, her neck muscle tensing. She bit her lips as her eyes moved back and forth over the text taking it in. When she finished, she laid the phone down and looked up at me.

  “Wow, they want the whole story. Josh’s being an addict, the attack, Lil Jack, all of it.”

  “Yeah, I’m sorry Carrington.”

  She shook her head and waved her hand as if dismissing my apology.

  “We could send them a letter, having the table the story and threaten to sue them for slander if they don’t.”

  “But, if we don’t do the interview, they may run the story anyway.”

  “Say their actions will harm a eight year old.”

  “What have you told Jack? What does he know?”

  “He doesn’t know anything and now I really don’t want him to know anything.”

  “Yeah, but if this does get out, it’s best that he hears from you. He’s going to find out someday.”

  She slumped back in her chair and I moved behind the desk to kneel in front of her.

  “I’m so sorry for doing this to you.”

  Her face soften and she reach out to touch my cheek.

  “Jackson, this isn’t your fault. Your right, it was going to come out eventually.” I took her hand and kissed it. Tears sprang in her eyes, but she whipped them away. “I don’t know what to say to Jack. He so young and he won’t understand half of it.”

  “We will figure it out, but I had another idea about the article.”

  “What?”

  “What if we did the interview together?”

  “Together.”

  “Yeah, I mean this is your story as much as it is mine. Plus, you have experience in spinning things.”

  “Or, we could pay them off.” She said and laughed. I laughed with her. “No, really, your wealthy, Mr. Griffin is uber wealthy, let’s Griffin them. Throw money at the problem. Come on it will be fun.”

  I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tight, loving the fact she may really be healed from what happened to her.

  “Maybe we could do interview in New York next week.”

  “Your coming to my game?”

  “Well, Mr. Griffin is taking Jack hunting in New Jersey.” She shook her head from side to side as if she couldn’t believe she agreed to let him go.

  “I think it’s good. Jack brings out the best in the man.”

  “Yeah, and I have to see Kayla before she disowns me and brands me the worst best friend every. Plus, she wants to come to your game.”

  “I’ll talk to my agent and have him take care of everything.” I stood up and pulled her up with me. “And, what about Jack.”

  “Let’s wait and see how the interview goes, first. Ok.” I narrowed my eyes at her as she continued. “It might give me more clarity on what I need to say and what I need to protect him from. Let’s just wait.” She patted me on my chest and this conversation was over, for now, anyway.

  ***

  Carrington Olivia Butler

  As bizarre and life altering as the last few weeks have been, boarding a private jet to New York felt normal.

  I put the article out of mind and concentrated on preparing my mind and my nerves for Jack’s hunting trip with Grandpa Griffin.

  When I told him about it, he called Grandpa Griffin to get the details. He worked himself up so much, he needed a steam to clear his lungs so he could fall asleep that night.

  The night before the trip, I called Mr. Griffin.

  “Carrington, you all set for this weekend.”

  “Oh, yeah. I am looking forward to it.” I said in my most sarcastic tone.

  “I promise I will return your child to you the same way I get him.”

  I laughed. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

  “Considerate it done.”

  “You got my instructions about his medicine and treatments.”

  “Yes. I’ve even taking some precautions of my own, so no need to worry.”

  “Did you hire a doctor to spend the weekend with you guys?”

  “A nurse, but she on stand by, just in case. It’s not like I’ll have her out in the blind with us monitoring his breathing every ten minutes. Hunting, the way we do it is calm and relaxing.”

  “Well, make sure he has in inhaler with him and you have a spare and follow his lead. He’ll tell you if he needs help.”

  “Ok.”

  I sighed.

  “Carrington, he will be fine.”

  “No, I know. I was thinking about something else.”

  “What going on?”

  “Well since I’ve been outed as Jackson’s girlfriend, the media has been looking for a story. Jackson was schedule to do this interview about growing up in a a football family and becoming a football player, but now it’s turned into our life story. They want to know about me and Josh and Jack, too.”

  A heavy silence feel over the phone and I waited it out.

  “What gives them the right?” Mr. Griffin asked, his mood soured and heavy.

  “They are reporters. I guess they figure finding the truth gives them the right.”

  “They are not entitled to the truth. My family history is not entertainment.”

  His breath grew heavy and ragged.

  “Mr. Griffin, if they dig, you know …, about Josh. What else are they going to find? What don’t I know?”

  “Carrington—“

  He sounded so defeated.

  “Listen, I’m not asking for your deep dark secrets, I’m curious. You knew Josh for twenty two years, is there not one good story, one little antidote, one redeeming characteristic that is close to the truth.”

  “When he was young, he used to make up stories. He was good at it to. It gave him lots of practice for his future talent in begin a liar.”

  “Mr. Griffin?”

  “Why is this coming out now? It’s been eight years. Did you do this on purpose to ruin our trip?”

  “Of course not. I just want you to be prepared. I planned to tell Jack about this father someday, but with this article coming up, someday is going to be sooner than any of us are ready for and I think you need to start preparing what your going to say to him.”

  “Who’s doing this article?”

  “The Tallahassee Democrat.”

  Mr. Griffin guffed and the line fell silent for a moment.

  “So, I will see you tomorrow in New Jersey,” Mr. Griffin said.

  I shook my head. “Good night Mr. Griffin.”

  “Good night, Carrington.”

  When I arrived at the team hotel on Friday, I checked in and collapsed on my bed. I handed my child over to a man who used to hate me. My stomach turned when I thought about it in those terms.

  I called Jackson and left a message. I knew he would call me after practice. I sat by my phone down and it rang the next second.

  “You’re in New York and you’re not even going to call me,” Kayla said. I almost squealed like a teenage.

  “Well, technically I’m in New Jersey and the reason I’m here is for you, so shut up.”

  “I missed you.”

  “You hung up on me.”

  “I know, but it worked. You and Jackson ended up together.”

  “I love it how everyone else is taking credit for Jackson and I ending up together. Jack is convinced it was his doing as well.”

  “Well, the two of you are stubborn, you needed a nudge.”

  “I know, but it would have been nice to still have my best friends ear while I was figuring this all out.”

  “I know. I am sorry.”

  “Well, you can make it up to me by taking me to lunch.”

  “Ok, where you want to go?”

  “Someplace expensive with plenty of alcohol.”

  “Nice. What’s the occasion?”

  “He took my child away from me -“

  “For a weekend.”

  “So, I’d still like to stay drunk so I don’t have to think about it.”

  “I’ll find a place and text you the address.”

  I showed the concierge the name of the place Kayla picked and asked him for directions to the train. As the girlfriend of the star quarterback, I wasn’t allowed to do things like a normal person. He arrange a car to take me into the city.

  I do know how to ride the train.

  I didn’t have the energy to argue. Two minutes later, I sat in the back of a black SUV headed towards the city. Thirty minutes later it pulled up to the front of a modern trendy restaurant in midtown.

  I spotted Kayla as soon as I walked through he door. Her red hair, a little darker and longer than normal cascaded over her shoulders and framed her face. She wore a cute fifties inspired floral dress with a sweater and beige heels. She talked a mile a minute and loud into her cell phone. As I approached, she kind of twirled as she turned towards me and hung up the phone without saying good bye. Even in beige heels, and me in flat boots, she came up to my chin. She wrapped her arms around my neck and jumped up and down squealing like a pig. It was embarrassing, but I got over it.

  “Oh shit,” she said as she grabbed a napkin from the nearest table and dabbed her eyes. I grabbed it from her and did the same.

  “I missed you, too.”

  She lead me to a table in a nook on the side of the bar, next to the window with a view of the street. A bottle of champagne sat chilling on the table. We both slid in to opposite sides of the booth.

  “Wow, look at you.”

  “What?”

  “You look so good. I knew it.”

  “Knew what?”

  “That you were one of those people who looked their best when they were in love.”

  “Kayla.”

  “What? I’m just saying. So how is it? Finally, being with Jackson.”

  My face grew warm thinking about Jackson, our passionate goodbye the night before. The way he studied every inch of my body to tied him over until we saw each other again. The team didn’t arrive until tomorrow.

  “Oh my God. It’s that good?”

  “What?”

  “You have that look on you’re face.”

  “What look?”

  “The I get fucked properly on the a regular basis and I like it look.”

  “Kayla Griffin, you are insane.”

  “I know, but you love me.”

  “I do love you and I’m sorry I didn’t call and tell you about Jackson.”

  “Thing are really good?”

  “They are good …”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothings wrong. Jackson and I are really good and we talk about our past all the time and we both have healed a grown so much. We have that connection that we thought we lost and it only grows stronger the more time we spend together.”

  “Well, that’s great.”

  “It is great, but.”

  “No, no but. Why does there have to be a but?”

  “It a tiny but, I promise.”

  “No one ever accused Carrington Butler of having a tiny butt.” I threw my napkin at her. She laughed and snorted and covered her mouth.

  “But,” I yelled. “I can’t help, but think something is going to happen, again.”

  “Well of course something is going to happen. Something always happens, but at least now you know how to handled it better when something does happened. Besides, what could happen that would be a deal breaker.”

  “I don’t know. Nothing, I think.”

  “See.” Kayla raised her glass, I followed. “Here’s to great love and great sex and everything else that makes life worth living.”

  “Cheers.”

  Jackson called as we finished up the first bottle and ordered the second bottle.

  I stepped outside to take the call.

  “Hi baby.”

  “Hey beautiful. You ok?”

  “I am fabulous.”

  “You’re drunk.”

  “Almost.”

  “What a waste. I am not even there yet to take advantage of you.”

  “Oh, I am childless for a two days, I plan to stay drunk for all of them. You’ll have your chance.”

  “Should I be worried.”

  “No, I’m ok.”

  “You and Kayla make up.”

  “Yeah, we love each other again.”

  “Good. I miss you.”

  “I miss you, too.”

  “Call me when you get back to the hotel.”

  “Ok. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  I slid back in across from Kayla as she finished another phone call.

  “How’s Jackson?”

  “He is good.”

  The waiter dropped off a plater of food.

  “I thought we could use some sustenance.”

  “Wow, this looks good.”

  “Well I hope you enjoy.” A short man with bald head stood next to our table.

  “Oh shit, you’re that chef on TV.” I covered my mouth with my hand.

  “I am. And, you are?”

  “Carrington Butler.”

  “Nice to meet you Carrington. Kayla, how are you?”

  “I am amazing. I have my best friend here to get in trouble with.”

  “I’ll warn the city.” He laughed “You ladies enjoy the food.”

  “Thanks Chef Tom.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  As he walked away, I squealed. “OMG, I love him.”

  “Well, we are in his restaurant. It’s not far fetched.”

  “He has restaurants all over the world, what are the odds he would show up at this one, today.”

  “Well, since he is cooking for a benefit I’m hosting on next week, I knew he’s be in the city today, I asked him which one he would be at so we could get some good food. Plus, I knew you would shit.”

  “Aww. I love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  As we dug into the food, I realized Kayla hadn’t mentioned Jamie. Not once. Of course I had to ask.

  “So, what’s going on with you?”

  “I’m good.”

  “How’s Jamie?”

  “He’s … good.” She smeared a piece of bread with some sort of cream cheese type stuff and handed it to me. She fixed one for herself.

  “Kayla.”

  “What? He’s fine. We are fine.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “Ok, you know I love you and I am so sorry about the stuff that happened to you, but it’s hard for me to talk to you about my relationship problems.”

  “Why?”

  “Because they seem so insignificant compared to what you went through.”

  “Come on Kayla, it’s all relative and because it’s important to you means it’s important to me, so spill.”

  “Jamie wants to have a baby.”

  “Holy shit.”

  “My reaction exactly, but I sounded more like Holy shit,” she said in an evil devil type voice.

  “You don’t want to have a baby.”

  “I don’t. Isn’t that horrible?”

  “No, it’s not horrible. It’s how you feel.”

  “I run a foundation that advocates for children and I don’t want to have kids. That’s weird, right?”

  “Kayla, you don’t have to explain you choices to anyone. You can’t help how you feel.” I looked up and found her staring at me with a strange look on her face. “What?”

  “Why aren’t you more upset about this?”

  “What? Why?”

  “You have a child. You should be like all those other mother’s who say being mother makes you feel like a real woman.”

  “Ok, I have always wanted children. But, you should bring a kid into a situation unless both parents are sure they want him. I love my son and couldn’t image not having him in my life, but he came way to early among the shittiest of circumstances. I wish I would have been more careful, more responsible.”

  “Yeah.” She reached out and squeezed my arm.

  “So, if it’s not right for you, you can’t make it right.”

  “Do you want to have more kids?”

  “I do. I want a little Mitchell baby,” I grabbed my glass and downed the rest of the champagne. “But, after the trauma my body suffered brining Jack into the world, I am so scared to be pregnant. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to have another kids.”

  “Oh wow, Carr, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think. See, there I go again. I’m complaining because my husband wants to have a baby with me and you might not even be able to have another baby. I am a selfish bitch.”

  “Hey, stop talking about my best friend like that.” I reach out for here hand and she squeezed mine. We sat their holding hand and wiping tears from our eyes over champagne and mini crab cakes. We must look pathetic.