It may be proper to explain here that the vessels employed in the timber trade arrive in the month of June, as soon as the ice is clear of the river, and, if they do not sail by or before the end of October, are usually set fast in the ice, and forced to winter in the St. Lawrence, losing their voyage, and lying seven or eight months idle. Aware of this, the sailors, as soon as they arrive, desert, and are secreted and fed by the crimps, who make their market of them in the fall of the year by selling them to the captains; procuring for the men an exorbitant sum for the voyage home, and for themselves a handsome douceur for their trouble, both from the captain and the sailor.

  We were desired not to take men out of the merchant vessels, but to search for them in the houses of the crimps. This was to us a source of great amusement and singular adventure; for the ingenuity in concealing them was only equalled by the art and cunning exercised in the discovery of their abodes. Cellars and lofts were stale and out of use: we found more game in the interior of haystacks, church-steeples, closets under fireplaces where the fire was burning. Some we found headed up in sugar-hogsheads, and some concealed within bundles of hoop-staves. Sometimes we found seamen, dressed as gentlemen, drinking wine and talking with the greatest familiarity with people much above them in rank, who had used these means to conceal them. Our information led us to detect these excusable impositions.

  I went into the country, about fifteen miles from Quebec, where I had heard of a crimp’s preserve, and after a tedious search, discovered some good seamen on the rafters of an outhouse intended only to smoke and cure bacon; and as the fires were lighted, and the smoke ascending, it was difficult to conceive a human being could exist there: nor should we have discovered them if one of them had not coughed; on which he received the execrations of the others, and the whole party was instantly handed out. We immediately cut the strings of their trousers behind, to prevent their running away (this ought never to be omitted), and, placing them and ourselves in the farmer’s waggon, made him put his team to and drive us all to Quebec, the new-raised men joining with our own in all the jokes which flew thick about on the occasion of their discovery. It was astonishing to me how easily these fine fellows reconciled themselves to the thoughts of a man-of-war; perhaps the approaching row with the Yankees tended very much to preserve good humour. I became an enthusiast in man-hunting, although sober reflection has since convinced me of its cruelty, injustice, and inexpediency, tending to drive seamen from the country more than any measure the government could adopt; but I am not going to write a treatise on impressment. I cared not one farthing about the liberty of the subject, as long as I got my ship well manned for the impending conflict; and as I gratified my love of adventure, I was as thoughtless of the consequences as when I rode over a farmer’s turnips in England, or broke through his hedges in pursuit of a fox.

  A tradesman at Quebec had affronted me, by refusing to discount a bill which I had drawn on my father. I had no other means of paying him for the goods I had purchased of him, and was much disconcerted at his refusal, which he accompanied with an insult to myself and my cloth, never to be forgotten. Turning the paper over and over, he said, “A midshipman’s bill is not worth a farthing, and I am too old a bird to be caught with such chaff.”

  Conscious that the bill was good, I vowed revenge. My search-warrant enabled me to go wherever I could get information of men being concealed — this was easily obtained from a brother mid (the poor man might as well have been in the hands of the holy brotherhood). My companion stated his firm conviction that sailors were concealed in the house: I applied to the captain, and received orders to proceed by all means in execution of my duty. The tradesman was a man of consequence in Quebec, being what is there called a large storekeeper, though we in England should have called him a shopkeeper. About one o’clock in the morning, we hammered at his door with no gentle tap, demanding admittance in the name of our sovereign lord the king. We were refused, and forthwith broke open the door, and spread over his house, like a nest of cockroaches. Cellars, garrets, maids’ rooms, ladies’ rooms, we entered sans cérémonie; paid little regard to the Medicean costume of the fair occupants; broke some of the most indispensable articles of bedroom furniture; rattled the pots and pans about in the kitchen; and, finding the two sons of the master of the house, ordered them to dress and come with us, certain, we said, that they were sailors.

  When the old tradesman saw me he began to smell a rat, and threatened me with severe punishment. I showed him my search-warrant, and asked him if it was a good bill. After having inspected every part of the house, I departed, leaving the two young cubs half dead with fear. The next day a complaint was lodged at the government house; but investigation is a long word when a man-of-war is ordered on service. Despatches from Albany reached Quebec, stating that the President of the United States had declared war against England; in consequence of which, our captain took leave of the governor, and dropped down the river with all speed, so I never heard any more of my tradesman.

  We arrived at Halifax fully manned, and immediately received orders to proceed to sea, “to sink, burn, and destroy.” We ran for Boston Bay, when, on the morning we made the land, we discovered ten or twelve sail of merchant vessels. The first we boarded was a brig; one of our boats was lowered down; I got into her, and jumped on the deck of the Yankee, while the frigate continued in chase of the others. The master of the vessel sat on a hen-coop, and did not condescend to rise or offer me the least salute as I passed him; he was a short, thick, paunchy-looking fellow.

  “You are an Englishman, I guess?”

  “I guess I am,” I said, imitating him with a nasal twang.

  “I thought we shouldn’t be long in our waters afore we met some of you old-country sarpents. No harm in what I said, I hope?” added the master.

  “Oh, no,” said I, “not the least; it will make no difference in the long run. But where do you come from, and where are you bound?”

  “Come from Smyrna, and bound to Boston, where I hope to be to-morrow morning, by the blessing of God, and a good conscience.”

  From this answer, I perceived that he was unacquainted with the war, and I therefore determined to play with him a little before I gave him the fatal news. “And pray,” said I, “what might your cargo consist of? You appear to be light.”

  “Not so light neither, I guess,” said the man; “we have sweet-oil, raisins, and what we calls notions.”

  “I have no notion,” said I, “what they might be. Pray explain yourself.”

  “Why you see, notions is what we call a little of all sorts like. Some likes one thing, you know, and some another: some likes sweet almonds, and some likes silk, and some likes opium, and some” (he added, with a cunning grin) “likes dollars.”

  “And are these the notions with which you are loaded?” said I.

  “I guess they are,” replied Jonathan.

  “And what might your outward cargo have been?” said I.

  “Salt fish, flour, and tobacco,” was his answer.

  “And is this all you have in return?” I asked. “I thought the Smyrna trade had been a very good one.”

  “Well, so it is,” said the unwary Yankee. “Thirty thousand dollars in the cabin, besides the oil and the rest of the goods, ain’t no bad thing.”

  “I am very glad to hear of the dollars,” said I.

  “What odds does that make to you?” said the captain; “it won’t be much on ’em as’ll come to your share.”

  “More than you may think,” said I. “Have you heard the news as you came along?”

  At the word “news,” the poor man’s face became the colour of one in the jaundice. “What news?” said he, in a state of trepidation that hardly admitted of utterance.

  “Why, only that your president, Mr Madison, has thought fit to declare war against England.”

  “You’re only a joking?” said the captain.

  “I give you my word of honour I am serious,” said I; “and your vessel is a prize to His Britannic Majesty’s ship, the — .”

  The poor man fetched a sigh from the waistband of his trousers. “I am a ruined man,” said he. “I only wish I’d known a little sooner of the war you talk about: I’ve got two nice little guns there forward; you shouldn’t a had me so easily.”

  I smiled at his idea of resistance against a fast-sailing frigate of fifty guns; but left him in the full enjoyment of his conceit, and changing the subject, asked if he had anything he could give us to drink, for the weather was very warm.

  “No, I ha’n’t,” he replied, peevishly; “and if I had—”

  “Come, come, my good fellow,” said I, “you forget you are a prize; civility is a cheap article, and may bring you a quick return.”

  “That’s true,” said Jonathan, who was touched on the nicest point — self; “that’s true, you are only a doing your duty. Here, boy, fetch up that ere demi-John of Madeira, and for aught I know, the young officer might like a drop o’ long cork; bring us some tumblers, and one o’ they claret bottles out o’ the starboard after locker.”

  The boy obeyed — and the articles quickly appeared. While this dialogue was going on, the frigate was in chase, firing guns, and bringing-to the different vessels as she passed them, dropping a boat on board of one, and making sail after another. We stood after her with all the sail we could conveniently carry.

  “Pray,” said the captain, “might I offer you a bit of something to eat? I guess you ha’n’t dined yet, as it isn’t quite meridian.”

  I thanked him, and accepted his offer: he ran down instantly to the cabin, as if to prepare for my reception; but I rather thought he wished to place some articles out of my sight, and this proved to be the case, for he stole a bag of dollars out of the cargo. In a short time, I was invited down. A leg of cured pork, and a roasted fowl, were very acceptable to a midshipman at any time, but particularly so to me; and, when accompanied by a few glasses of the Madeira, the barometer of my spirits rose in proportion to the depression of his.

  “Come, captain,” said I, filling a bumper of claret, “here’s to a long and bloody war.”

  “Damn the dog that won’t say amen to that,” said the master; “but where do you mean to carry me to? I guess to Halifax. Sha’n’t I have my clothes and my own private venter?”

  “All your private property,” said I, “will be held sacred; but your vessel and cargo are ours.”

  “Well, well,” said the man, “I know that; but if you behave well to me, you shan’t find I’m ungrateful. Let me have my things, and I’ll give you a bit o’ news as will be of sarvice to you.”

  He then told me, on my promising him his private venture, that we had not a moment to lose, for that a vessel, just visible on the horizon, was from Smyrna, richly laden; she was commanded by a townsman of his, and bound to the same place. I turned from him with contempt, and at the same moment made the signal to speak the frigate. On going on board, I told the captain what I had heard from the master of the prize, and the promise I had given. He approved of it; the proper number of men were instantly sent back to the brig, the prisoners taken out, and the frigate made sail in chase of the indicated vessel, which she captured that night at nine o’clock.

  I would not willingly believe that such perfidy is common among the Americans. On parting with the master of my brig, a sharp dialogue took place between us.

  “I guess I’ll fit out a privateer, and take some of your merchanters.”

  “Take care you are not taken yourself,” said I, “and pass your time on board one of our prison ships; but, remember, whatever may happen, it’s all your own fault. You have picked a German quarrel with us, to please Boney; and he will only spit in your face when you have done your best for him. Your wise President has declared war against the mother-country.”

  “Damn the mother-country,” muttered the Yankee; “stepmother, I guess you mean, tarnation seize her!!!”

  We continued following the ship, and by night-time the frigate had secured eight prizes; one of them being a brig in ballast, the prisoners were put on board of her, my Yankee friend among the number, and turned adrift, to find their way home. We took care to give to all of them their private ventures and their clothes. I was in hopes of being allowed to go to Halifax with my prize; but the captain, knowing how I was likely to pass my time, kept me with him. We cruised two months, taking many privateers, some large and some small; some we burned, and some we scuttled.

  One day we had one of these craft alongside, and having taken everything out of her that was worth moving, we very imprudently set her on fire before she was clear of the ship’s side; and as we were on a wind, it was some minutes before we could get her clear. In the meantime the fire began to blaze up in a very alarming manner under the mizen chains, where, by the attraction of the two floating bodies, she seemed resolved to continue; but on our putting the helm up I and giving the vessel a sheer the contrary way, as soon as we were before the wind, she parted from us, to our great joy, and was soon in a volume of flame. Our reason for setting her on fire alongside was to save time, as we wanted to go in chase of another vessel, seen from the mast-head, and lowering a boat down to destroy this vessel would have detained us.

  Before the end of the cruise, we chased a schooner, which ran on shore and bilged; we boarded her, brought away her crew and part of her cargo, which was very valuable. She was from Bordeaux, bound to Philadelphia. I was sent to examine her, and endeavour to bring away more of her cargo. The tide rising in her, we were compelled to rip up her decks, and discovered that she was laden with bales of silk, broad cloths, watches, clocks, laces, silk stockings, wine, brandy, bars of steel, olive-oil, etcetera, etcetera. I sent word of this to the captain; and the carpenter and plenty of assistants arriving, we rescued a great quantity of the goods from the deep or the Yankee boats, who would soon have been on board after we left her. We could perceive in the hold some cases, but they were at least four feet under water. It was confoundedly cold; but I thought there was something worth diving for, so down I went, and contrived to keep myself long enough under water to hook one end of a case, by which means we broke it out and got it up. It was excellent claret, and we were not withheld from drinking it by any scruples of conscience; for if I had not dived for it, it would never have come to the mouth of an Englishman. We discussed a three-dozen case among just so many of us, in a reasonable short time; and as it was October, we felt no ill effects from a frequent repetition of the dose.

  I never felt colder, and diving requires much stimulant. From practice at this work, I could pick up pins and needles in a clear, sandy bottom; and, considering the density of the medium, could litre like a beaver under water; but I required ample fees for my trouble. When we returned on board, we were very wet and cold, and the wine took no effect on us; but as soon as we thawed, like the horn of the great Munchausen, the secret escaped, for we were all tipsy. The captain inquired the cause of this the next day, and I very candidly told him the whole history. He was wise enough to laugh at it; some captains would have flogged every one of the men, and disgraced the officers.

  On our return into port, I requested permission to go to England in order to pass my examination as lieutenant, having nearly completed my servitude as a midshipman. I was asked to remain out, and take my chance for promotion in the flag-ship; but more reasons than I chose to give induced me to prefer an examination at a sea-port in England, and I obtained my discharge and came home. The reader will no doubt give me credit for having written some dozen of letters to Eugenia: youth, beauty, and transient possession had still preserved my attachment to her unabated. Emily I had heard of, and still loved with a purer flame. She was my sun; Eugenia my moon; and the fair favourites of the western hemisphere, so many twinkling stars of the first, second, and third magnitude. I loved them all more or less; but all, their charms vanished, when the beauteous Emily shone in my breast with refulgent light.

  I had received letters from my father, who wished me to come home, that he might present me to some of the great men of the nation, and secure my promotion to the highest ranks of the service. This advice was good, and, as it suited my views, I followed it. I parted with my captain on the best terms, took leave of all my mess-mates and the officers in the same friendly manner; and last, not least, went round to the ladies, kissing, hugging, crying, and swearing love and eternal attachment. Nothing I declared, should keep me from Halifax, as soon as I had passed; nothing prevent my marrying one, as soon as I was a lieutenant; a second was to have the connubial knot tied when I was a commander; and a third, as soon as I was made a captain. Oh, how like was I to Don Galaor! Oh, how unlike the constant Amadis de Gaul! But, reader, you must take me as I was, not as I ought to have been.

  After a passage of six weeks, I arrived at Plymouth, and had exactly completed my six years’ servitude.

  Chapter Fifteen.

  Examine him closely, goodman Dry; spare him not. Ask him impossible questions. Let us thwart him, let us thwart him.

  Beaumont and Fletcher.

  Soon after my arrival at Plymouth, notice was given by a general order, issued from the flag-ship, that a passing day for the examination of midshipmen, as touching their qualifications for the rank of lieutenant, would be held on board the Salvador del Mundo, in Hamoaze. I lost no time in acquainting my father with this, and telling him that I felt quite prepared, and meant to offer myself. Accordingly, on the day appointed, your humble servant, with some fourteen or fifteen other youthful aspirants, assembled on board the flag-ship. Each was dressed out in his Number One suit, in most exact and unquizzable uniform, with a large bundle of log-books under our arms. We were all huddled together in a small screened canvas cabin, like so many sheep ready for slaughter.