Isn’t that the kind of thing people say in dramas where someone knocks someone else up and marries them afterwards?

  “Well, I ordered you to do something, so it’s only fair that you would get to order me to do something.”

  “!”

  Hot.

  “There are limits, obviously! I think you’re smart enough to know where they are.”

  “Yeah...”

  “So, once you’ve become your own fan, show me.”

  “I never said I would agree to that...”

  She cocked her head and gave me a quizzical look.

  “It’s an order, though? You don’t have the option of refusing.”

  4 - Love

  On the train, Haruhi and I were standing next to each other. I was grabbing onto one of the handles hanging from the ceiling. Haruhi, on the other hand, was holding onto my arm as if we were lovers. That’s probably what we looked like to the people around us.

  It isn’t like that, though...

  You want to be, though. Even if she doesn’t.

  My brain is going to turn into mush if this keeps up.

  “Umm...could you let go, please?”

  “Oh, sorry.”

  She unraveled our arms and grabbed hold of a handle instead.

  “...”

  “Do you dislike it when I do things like that?”

  “It...does make me feel a little uncomfortable.”

  It made my heart beat faster, and I would get sweaty, and my thoughts would get all jumbled. It kind of felt like something was wrong.

  What, though, I didn’t know.

  The train car rumbled as it sped across the tracks towards our school.

  “...It makes me feel comfortable. I feel like I’m connected to another person. It makes me feel like I’m not alone. Is that strange?”

  This conversation is getting a whole lot deeper than usual.

  “I think that’s...probably normal. However, most people usually only do that kind of thing with people they love.”

  “I do love you, though.”

  “?!”

  “I love everyone.”

  Oh.

  “I think we might have different definitions of the word ‘love.’”

  “Do you not love me?”

  I don’t know how to answer that...

  “I...like you.”

  “Do you love me?”

  She’s doing it again.

  “I think...if we’re using your definition of love...I might love you.”

  “Then it’s fine, right?”

  She let go of the handle and wrapped her arms around mine again.

  “Umm...before, I said it was probably normal. But...I don’t think I’m normal.”

  “Do you not like to feel connected to other people?”

  “I...don’t know...”

  She let go of my arm again.

  “Would you prefer to be alone?”

  Her voice was quieter now.

  “No. I don’t want to be alone.”

  It’s contradictory. It doesn’t make any sense.

  What is this girl making me say?

  Her perspective is so alien to me that it kind of feels like I can talk about it, though. She’s not normal either, just in a different way.

  “So, you’ll stay with me? You won’t abandon me? I just have to not touch you?”

  “Yeah, I like being with you—the touching thing is just too much.”

  “...I’m glad you told me. I love you, so I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

  There she goes saying that word all casually again...

  “Umm, could you...maybe use ‘like’ instead of ‘love,’ too?”

  “But, I don’t just ‘like’ you. I like sunny weather. I like ice cream. I like playing games. I love people. I love you.”

  Hrk. My heart can’t take this.

  “How about ‘really like’? Will that work?”

  “I ‘really like’ you...”

  Haruhi’s face scrunched up.

  “Is it that bad?”

  “It just doesn’t feel right. It feels like I’m lying.”

  “Well, I don’t like lying, so...it’s fine if you keep saying it.”

  “I love you!”

  Don’t shout it!

  She wrapped her free arm around mine.

  “No touching, remember?”

  “Oh, sorry.”

  She let go.

  We passed the rest of the train ride in silence next to each other.

  5 - Ice Cream

  As usual, upon entering the classroom, I was greeted by Izumi.

  “Good morning, Matsuda-san.”

  As usual, I returned her greeting with a nod and proceeded to my desk. On the way, I scoped out the cover of Kondou’s book.

  It looked like she had finished The Literature Club Mysteries series because she was reading something else now.

  Kondou locked eyes with me. She lifted up her book slightly, angling the cover in my direction, and jerked her head to the book and then to me.

  What’s that supposed to mean? I can’t read minds as well as you.

  I nodded at her and continued to my seat.

  That was unusual. Did she want something from me? Or was she just greeting me in the morning now that we had grown closer? Either way, we’d see each other after school.

  Partway through first period, I came to the conclusion that she was probably trying to indicate that she had finished The Literature Club Mysteries series. When we first talked, I mentioned lending her the anime adaption. She could have just told me after school—there was no need to send me a cryptic message.

  Well, I think I finally understand what she was trying to tell me, at least.

  Unfortunately, I don’t understand whatever the teacher is talking about...

  After school, I plopped down next to Kondou in the library.

  “If you want, I can bring the box set tomorrow.”

  She shook her head.

  “Actually, I was wondering if I could come pick it up at your house. Maybe we could watch a few episodes first.”

  Seems like my conclusion was correct. More importantly, her, coming to my house? And watching anime together?

  “If that’s what you want, I don’t see why not.”

  I tried to nonchalantly shrug my shoulders.

  This would be considered walking home with a girl, right? Did this count?

  “Onii-chan, welcome home!”

  Fuyuko came barreling down the stairs and rounded the corner, stopping dead once she saw that Kondou was with me.

  The entire way home I had avoided thinking about this situation, because I didn’t know what would happen. I had decided I would just cross that bridge when I came to it.

  I was now crossing that bridge.

  “...”

  “...”

  Fuyuko and I just stared at each other. Seemingly noticing our hesitation, Kondou introduced herself with a polite bow.

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Matsuda-san’s classmate, Kondou Chiaki.”

  Fuyuko blinked a few times before returning the bow.

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Onii-chan’s little sister, Fuyuko. Please enjoy your stay.”

  You’re being awfully polite.

  “Well...we should get going.”

  I started walking towards the stairs. Kondou followed behind me.

  “I...I was just heading out to meet up with Yuuko. You two enjoy yourselves!”

  Fuyuko hurriedly put on her shoes and left the house.

  “My room’s right this way.”

  I wasn’t that worried about bringing a girl into my room on short notice—because of my little sister, I always made sure not to leave anything too incriminating in plain sight.

  “Your little sister seems polite.”

  “I can see why you would think that. Maybe you’ll meet the real her one day.”

  “Hmm... Can I take a look at your light novels?”

  Chiaki motioned towards my bookshelf filled with light novels, games, and anime.

  “Sure.”

  It would probably be fine. My bookshelf was deep enough that you can fit two rows of books in it. The titles that I didn’t want Fuyuko to find—like All You Need Is Little Sister—were on the top shelf, and the more risqué titles—like Princess & Tentacles—were on the second row. Fuyuko wasn’t able to reach it, and a girl of Kondou’s height would have to stretch to reach up there. She wouldn’t naturally look at those.

  While she was browsing my collection, I looked for the anime we were going to watch.

  Here it is.

  I pulled out the first volume of the anime. The anime was titled Ice Cream, the name of the first novel in the series. It made sense if you’ve seen or read it—it was one of the mysteries.

  Standing up, I turned to Kondou, who was holding a light novel in her hands.

  “All You Need Is Little Sister, huh. Just as I expected, there was something interesting up there. They don’t call it ‘top shelf’ for nothing.”

  This girl went straight for the top shelf!

  “Well, you see, it’s actually ironic—”

  “It’s a pretty fun series, isn’t it? It really inspired me when I was in middle school.”

  Oh, okay. She’s read it. That’s a relief.

  “Yeah, it is. It was one of the things that made me think about trying to write my own light novels.”

  All You Need Is Little Sister is about a light novel author who is comically obsessed with little sisters. Most of the other characters in the series were also authors, artists, or other creative types—reading it would really get your creative juices flowing and encourage you to make something yourself.

  She stood on her tiptoes and reached up to put the volume back on the top shelf.

  “What else do you have up here?”

  “?!”

  She was going back for more!

  My collection is too large for me to remember exactly where everything is on my shelf, but I’m pretty sure behind All You Need Is Little Sister is—

  “Princess & Tentacles.”

  Yeah...

  A blush spread across her face.

  That cover would make anyone blush.

  I was blushing too.

  Yeah...I don’t know what I’m going to do about this one. ‘It’s actually ironically horny’ would be a lie—there’s nothing ironic about its horniness. ‘The world-building is really good’—no one who’s never read it would buy that, based on that cover.

  I’m dead.

  “...”

  It’s over for me.

  “...”

  The station is so far away—it’s going to take me so long to get onto the tracks—isn’t there a faster way to die?

  After what felt like an eternity, she spoke up.

  “It’s fantastic, isn’t it? I’m still blown away by the quality of Rishiba-sensei’s illustrations—everything is just like I always imagined it.”

  “You’re a fan?”

  “Of course I’m a fan—I’ve been a fan of the original web novel since day one.”

  It was still really embarrassing, but it wasn’t as bad knowing she was a fan. And a bigger fan than me—I had never read the web novel.

  “The world-building is really great, isn’t it?”

  For some reason she looked a little dejected.

  “The ‘world-building’? Yeah...people say that a lot online, don’t they? I wish people would pay more attention to the social commentary...”

  I held up the Blu-ray case I had been holding the entire time.

  “So, are we going to watch this or what?”

  Maybe it was because I was still nervous after our talk about Princess & Tentacles, but I think I made an idiot of myself while we were watching Ice Cream. I kept gushing over the animation and the mundane little details.

  After we finished the episodes adapting the first volume of the novel, I put the rest of the Blu-rays in a bag and handed them over to her.

  “Here you go.”

  “Thank you. I would like to watch the rest with you, but I think I’ll do it on my own time.”

  It’s my fault isn’t it? I scared her away.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No, it’s not because of you. I enjoyed your commentary. Honestly, I had a really good time. I hope we can do something else like this again. I should be going now.”

  “Do you want me to walk you home?”

  She shook her head.

  “Thanks for offering, but I’ll be fine.”

  And with that, she left.

  Aside from the parts that made me want to kill myself, that went pretty well.

  A few minutes after Kondou left, Fuyuko returned, shivering.

  6 - Consent

  At breakfast in the morning, Fuyuko was fidgeting uncomfortably and oddly quiet.

  It’s unusual to see her worried about something like this.

  “Is there something on your mind?”

  She nodded vigorously.

  “Yep.”

  “If there’s something you want to say, you can just say it.”

  “Nope.”

  This girl...

  “Why not?”

  “It’s a secret.”

  Well, I guess it’s good that she isn’t just blurting out a secret. But it does seem to be difficult for her.

  “Good luck with that.”

  If she wasn’t going to tell me, then it was none of my business.

  “I love you, Onii-chan.”

  She says that a lot, but why right now? Whatever, it’s not worth my brain cells.

  I just replied the way I always did.

  “Me too.”

  I was now waiting at the station for Haruhi, running through some ideas for a story in my head. After Kondou left yesterday, I had spent the rest of the day trying to brainstorm a good premise. I had a few good ideas that I was knocking around in my brain. If I thought about them a lot today, I might be able to write some tonight.

  “Good morning to you, Akio.”

  Haruhi appeared beside me.

  “Good morning.”

  She was standing a little farther away from me than usual. Although, that was still close because she would usually hang on my arm or something.

  It seems like she’s following the ‘no touching’ rule from yesterday.

  “How was your day yesterday?”

  “I watched some anime and brainstormed ideas for a story I’m thinking about writing.”

  I’ll leave out that I watched anime together alone with a girl in my house.

  Why do you think she would care, again?

  I just don’t want to answer any follow-up questions.

  “That sounds fun. I didn’t know you were a writer.”

  “It’s a recent thing. I haven’t really written anything yet.”

  “I hope that works out for you. If you ever want somebody to read your writing, I can.”

  “Maybe...”

  Whatever I end up writing will probably not be something I would want to show her.

  Because she would find out how much of a pervert you are?

  “As for me, yesterday, one of my online friends told me his wife filed for a divorce. I’ll spare the personal details, but it was fun playing games with him to try and take his mind off things—”

  This girl is always getting into intensely personal conversations with people online. It doesn’t seem very fun to me, but she seems to enjoy it. Maybe she would make a good therapist.

  Not that I would know—I’ve never been to one.

  After she rambled on about her online friends for a while, we settled into silence. This wasn’t unusual once we had both said our piece. Haruhi seemed to be fidgeting uncomfortably, though, clenching and unclenching her hands repeatedly.

  Two fidgety girls in one day?

  What’s her deal? It’s not unusual for us to just wait together in silence, so it’s not like she’s uncomfortable at the lack of conversation.

  What’s different now than those times?

  Wait. Usually when we’re together in silence like this, she would grab onto me or hold my hand or something. But because of the ‘no touching’ rule, she’s holding back. That’s probably it.

  She was still fidgeting while staring off into the distance.

  This makes me feel bad.

  She’s sacrificing for me. She’s clearly struggling.

  What about me? Am I sacrificing anything?

  No.

  This situation is entirely in my favor. I’m being selfish. I’m taking advantage of her kindness.

  All because of what? Because I feel uncomfortable when she touches me? That’s it? I’m leaving her out to dry because I feel bad about myself?

  Why does it make me feel bad? Because our relationship will never become what I really want it to be? What do I want it to be?

  Don’t think about it.

  “Umm...I know I said ‘no touching,’ but it’s not like there are no exceptions. How about we amend the rule to ‘no touching without consent’? If there’s something we want to do, we should clearly communicate our desires to one another first. That seems like a mature way for us to handle this.”

  She silently nodded before shuffling closer to me and whispering in my ear.

  “I want to feel you.”

  “?!”

  I know this was my idea, but this might be more embarrassing than her just grabbing me out of nowhere. It should be helpful for her to learn to control herself, though.

  “May I touch you?”

  I can’t possibly turn you down if you look at me like that!

  “Yeah, go ahead.”

  She wrapped her arms tightly around my right arm and laid her head on my shoulder.

  Making up for lost time, huh?

  My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.

  “Thank you.”

  This is for the best, right? I’m doing the right thing here?

  “I guess this kind of thing really means a lot to you.”

  “Yeah... Seeing my friend so torn up over his divorce reminded me of how important the connections between people are. Things had been going poorly between them for a while, and because they were arguing all the time, their friends didn’t want to hang out with them anymore. By the time they realized they could no longer be together, they could no longer be apart—they didn’t have anyone besides each other. Then she filed for divorce after finding some new guy. Making it official really made it clear that he was completely alone now, at least IRL. She found someone else, but he doesn’t have anyone else.”