That’s how you are, aren’t you?

  That’s who you are, aren’t you?

  That’s what you are, aren’t you?

  You’re one of them, aren’t you?

  It’s in your nature.

  It’s in your blood.

  It’s in every cell of your body.

  You can’t run from that.

  You can’t forget that.

  You can’t change that.

  No matter how much you want to.

  This is as close as you’re going to get, so take it!

  Them?

  You know them well.

  You encounter them often.

  You avoid them as much as you can.

  You can’t trust them as far as you can throw them.

  Those creatures you hate so much.

  Those fiends you despise.

  Those subhuman freaks that you just can’t stand.

  Those minions of evil.

  Those defilers of all that is holy.

  That is what you are.

  You are one of them.

  A demon?

  Nay.

  ...

  ...

  ...

  ...

  ...

  ...

  ...

  ...

  A man.

  Bottle it up.

  Bury it.

  Bury it as deep as I can.

  Run away as far as I can.

  And forget where I buried it.

  Just like always.

  There’s no other way.

  I can’t live with it.

  I can’t remember.

  I have to forget.

  I do want to, but I can’t.

  I guess there are some things I won’t do, even if a girl wants me to.

  “I’m sorry. I changed my mind. I can’t do it.”

  “Huh? How could you come this far and turn back now? Did you think of your girlfriend and feel guilty? I told you not to worry about that.”

  No. It actually had nothing to do with her. Not that I didn’t feel guilty about that too, but even if I weren’t dating her, it still wouldn’t have worked out.

  “Sorry. There’s probably something wrong with me. I might not be human—”

  “Don’t say that.”

  “Huh?”

  Ayaka got really serious all of a sudden.

  “I don’t know what you’re thinking or feeling, but just looking at you, it’s clear that you’re human. So, whatever it is that you feel is human too.”

  Don’t look at me.

  But...

  “Thanks for that.”

  She sighed and climbed off of me, retrieving her shirt from the floor and pulling it on over her head.

  “If you don’t want to, I’m not going to force you. I want you to want it.”

  I sat up.

  “You say that, but you tried to seduce me.”

  She smiled cheekily.

  “Instead of seduction, I would prefer to think of it as negotiation.”

  “‘Whatever you want to call it makes no difference to me.’”

  She snorted.

  “Turning my own words against me? It’s been a long day, hasn’t it?”

  “Yeah...”

  And there was still more to come. How was I going to face Haruhi?

  She sighed again.

  “I get it. You already have the cutest little sister in the world. I never stood a chance...”

  “This has nothing to do with her, though...”

  “I feel sorry for Fuyuyu. You’ve never thought about how much she does for you, have you? Do you ever think about the fact that she’s been cooking for you this entire time? Have you thought about it even once? Or do you just take it for granted?”

  I have to admit, it had barely crossed my mind.

  “I...”

  She poked her finger into my chest.

  “If you aren’t going to love me, then at least love her, okay? I’m sure it would make her happy.”

  “She’s not like you.”

  “That’s true. I’m not a perfect person. I’m not the perfect little sister. And I don’t pretend to be either. Unlike her.”

  “Whatever you’re implying, she’s not like that. She’s made it clear to me herself that she doesn’t see me that way.”

  She looked at me like I was dumb.

  “People can lie, you know? To each other. To themselves.”

  I was well aware of that.

  “You’re projecting your own perversions onto others. I don’t trust your judgment.”

  She shrugged.

  “Maybe. But—you know what, I shouldn’t leak the contents of our private chats. She entrusted that info to me in good faith. If she wants you to know, she can tell you herself.”

  Don’t fall for it.

  She was messing with me. I knew she liked doing that. She was just getting a little revenge on me for turning her down.

  “Sure, sure...”

  “Believe whatever is most convenient for you. Whether you believe me or not doesn’t change what’s true. Anyway, I’m horny, so if you’re not going to fuck me, I’ll just have to find someone who will. Thanks for letting me spend the night last night. I’ll get out of your hair now.”

  “I don’t think I can love you the way you want me to, but we can still be friends, if you want.”

  “Fuyuyu has my contact info, so if you ever want to get in touch, you can go through her. If you ever change your mind, I’ll fuck you anytime.”

  “I hope you can find someone to love you.”

  “I would prefer if my brother came around, instead. Came inside, rather.”

  “Gross.”

  She was herself to the very end.

  She started to leave, but turned around before shutting the door behind her.

  “I had fun, you know. On our date.”

  “Me too.”

  “You’re not going to deny it was a date?”

  “No...”

  She raised her hand in farewell.

  “Goodbye.”

  “Goodbye.”

  I wonder if we will ever see each other again.

  I feel kind of bad that I couldn’t help her. Despite her personality, I actually do like her, so I’m concerned about where her future will lead her. This is why I don’t like interacting with people. Once they become intertwined with your life, their problems become your problems.

  But whatever she does is her own decision. I can’t take responsibility for whatever she decides to do with her own life. But it’s hard for me not to worry.

  I want her to be happy.

  We’re kind of similar, aren’t we?

  We’re both hopeless.

  Both cursed by fate.

  But she keeps going.

  I can’t do that.

  I don’t have what it takes to fight fate.

  I can only run away.

  7 - Long Day’s End

  ‘I’m on my way.’

  ‘I’ll be waiting.’

  I ran my fingers down the back of my phone’s case before returning it to my pocket.

  Just a little bit longer.

  I sighed.

  I’ve always been clingy—both physically and emotionally—but this feels excessive. I guess now that I finally have someone after so long, I don’t want to let them go. But I will have to, one day...

  I shouldn’t think any more about that.

  As I approached his house, I noticed him standing outside waiting for me.

  “You didn’t have to wait outside. It’s cold.”

  He smiled at me like he was dumb.

  “I wanted to see you as soon as possible.”

  My heart skipped a beat.

  I could feel my face flush more—it was already a little flush from the cold.

  I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him as hard as I could. He seemed surprised at first, but he eventually wrapped his arms around me as well, returning my hug. It was cold out, but I felt a warmth spread throughout my body. I could feel the beating of my heart. I could feel the beating of his heart. We were both connected. This is what I had been looking forward to all day.

  I don’t know what I was so worried about. He’s right here. He’s not going anywhere.

  *****

  Was that cringe?

  What I said was cringe, right?

  She was too embarrassed by how cringe I was to respond and was now trying to squeeze me to death.

  Whether it was cringe or not, I didn’t say that to try and sound cool—it was just how I honestly felt...

  She was right about it being cold out, though.

  “We should head inside.”

  *****

  Once inside, I showed off my outfit.

  “What do you think?”

  He looked me up and down before nodding his head with a dumb smile on his face.

  “I think whoever picked it out has excellent taste. It looks even better on you than I imagined it would. Of course, anything would look good if it was worn by someone as beautiful as you.”

  “...”

  *****

  Okay, I think that was cringe. I might have laid it on a little too thick with that one.

  Why would I say that?

  Is this my real personality?

  I just said what I was thinking, though...

  I suggested we play Meteor Witches—because of my date with Ayaka I hadn’t done my dailies yet—but she just wanted to cuddle. Although, it was slightly different from normal, because she wanted me to hold her.

  I wasn’t going to complain. I liked this too. And after what happened with Ayaka, I didn’t mind that it wasn’t sexual. I wanted things to stay just like this. This was comfortable for me.

  ...

  Eventually, Haruhi broke the silence by mumbling something.

  “You make me feel so warm...”

  I guess that’s a compliment?

  Her body was warm too.

  How does that work? Shouldn’t heat flow from hot to cold? How can we both provide warmth to each other at the same time? Isn’t that like a perpetual motion machine? Shouldn’t that violate the laws of thermodynamics? Is that the power of love? Can love break physics? Can it transcend the laws of this world?

  If that’s true, that’s broken. That’s too OP. The devs need to fix that in the next patch. Or, maybe they shouldn’t. It might be one of those things that’s best left in—sometimes it’s better to let the players have fun breaking the game, you know?

  *****

  “My phone is getting old. I’ve had it since middle school and I’m almost a university student. I thought about replacing it, but I can’t. I can’t let go of her. I can’t forget her. At the time, I didn’t know why she stopped messaging me. But I know what happened to her now. I’ve seen it happen many times after. I couldn’t do anything for her either.”

  “You don’t know that. You have no proof. All she did was stop messaging you. You can’t assume something like that and then blame yourself for it. There’s tons of reasons why she might have stopped messaging you. Not all of them are bad. Maybe she experienced a large change in her life and she didn’t want to interact with anyone from her past anymore. Maybe she didn’t want to be reminded of who she used to be.”

  I knew he would say something like that. I knew he would comfort me.

  “I guess that’s possible. Thank you. I love you.”

  “I love you too. As long as I’m here, I’m not going to let you blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault.”

  “Either way, I still don’t want to replace my phone, but I’m going to have to at some point. I don’t want to lose all of the memories contained within this one.”

  “Then you just need to make new memories. Instead of waiting until the last moment, why don’t we get you a new phone now, and then we can create as many memories as possible with it before you leave for university?”

  “That sounds like a great idea.”

  *****

  “So, how was your day?”

  “I got better pretty quick, so it wasn’t all that bad.”

  “I heard from Fuyu-chi that her friend slept over last night.”

  “Yeah, she left earlier today, though.”

  “What’s she like?”

  “Hmm...she’s quite the character.”

  “How so?”

  “She’s constantly up to some kind of mischief.”

  “Do you like her?”

  “I don’t dislike her.”

  “Do you like her?”

  “...I like her. She’s kind of annoying, but she’s like a little sister—she does have a big brother, so she actually is a little sister. And Fuyuko treats her like a big sister, so, yeah, I like her like a little sister.”

  “Hmm. So did you two do anything today?”

  “She bought a bunch of unusual foods from the convenience store and made me eat them.”

  “That seems like fun.”

  “I guess it was.”

  “So, why did you decide to go for a run? Is your leg okay?”

  “Well, I didn’t mention it at the time because I didn’t want to have to get into a longer explanation, but I was actually chasing after Ayaka because she stole my phone when it started ringing. I hurt my leg tackling her to the ground trying to get my phone back.”

  “I see. She does seem like quite the troublemaker.”

  *****

  He had his arms wrapped around me and I was holding his hands in mine. I was nervously rubbing my fingers against his hand, like I did with my phone case.

  Sometimes he gets that look when talking about anime, or video games, or his little sister. He did it for her too. It’s not like he only does it for me. It shouldn’t bother me.

  But there are some things he only does with me. And I like it that way.

  ...

  It was difficult to bring up, but I thought I should ask again.

  “If...if you want to have sex, I don’t mind. We can do it if you want.”

  “...It’s fine, I’m already doing everything I want to do. I’m happy with the way things are, so don’t worry about that.”

  That was a big weight off my shoulders.

  “I really love you.”

  “I really love you too.”

  Yeah, this was our relationship. There was no need to change things.

  All my worries were for nothing, but that was for the best.

  This long day was finally over.

  However...

  ...

  What do I want...?

  8 - Revocation

  *****

  This isn’t how the nightmares usually start...

  Before me was a figure. I shouldn’t have known who she was, yet I did. I shouldn’t have known a lot of things, yet I did.

  “What do you want?”

  “I wanted to inform you of the impending Revocation.”

  “Did he—”

  “No, not him. That girl.”

  Even though they only used the phrase ‘that girl,’ I knew. I knew exactly who she was talking about, as if I had known all along.

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “I wanted to make things more interesting by giving you a head start. Take as much time as you need to prepare yourself.”

  Part 6 - Beautiful Daydream

  1 - Unforgettable Morning

  “Pink F*rte Wave!”

  The magic stick held in my little sister’s hands sped rapidly towards me. It seemed like my little sister was taking the aggressive approach to waking me up this morning.

  I easily blocked the incoming attack with the pillow I had clutched in my hands.

  Why was I holding a pillow? It’s good to always be prepared. I can never be too careful, you know?

  “I love you, Onii-chan. Breakfast is ready.”

  “Good morning, Fuyuko. Thanks for letting me know.”

  I could do without the surprise attack, though...

  Fuyuko grinned.

  “I love you.”

  I patted her on the head.

  “I love you too.”

  “Mhm.”

  She left with a self-satisfied smile on her face.

  I sighed.

  During breakfast, Fuyuko was babbling about PriCare.

  She had woken me up with a PriCare attack this morning, so maybe she was finally over her obsession with Mia? I didn’t know how Ayaka acted around Fuyuko, but maybe she became disillusioned after meeting her idol in person. Or maybe after having her spend the night, she had reached the pinnacle of being a fan of Mia and was ready to move on to something else.

  Might as well just ask her.

  “So, are you done being a fan of Mia?”

  Fuyuko cocked her head.

  “Who’s Mia?”

  Huh?

  Was she pretending that Mia didn’t exist?

  “You know, Mia?”

  She shook her head.

  “I don’t know, Mia.”

  Was this a joke? Had she moved on that completely?

  “So, you’re getting back into PriCare, now?”

  She looked at me like I was dumb.

  “If by ‘now,’ you mean since like a year ago, yeah.”

  “Huh?”

  “Onii-chan, are you okay? I know your memory is bad, but are you sure you aren’t confusing whatever dream you had last night with reality?”

  A dream?

  “Maybe...”

  If you think about it, there’s no way a famous idol would abandon her job just to try and fuck me. It had to have been a dream. It felt so real, though...

  You’re going to trust your little sister over your own memories?

  Maybe.

  After finishing breakfast, I went back to my room to check on something.

  It wasn’t there.

  The letter from Mia I had stashed away in my desk was gone.

  As I walked to the station with Fuyuko, I thought more about it.

  I clearly had memories of things that apparently never happened. It was like when the world line changes in Stones;Gatter. Did I have Reading Stoner? This was strange.

  ‘Strange’?

  Something some girl said to me once sprung into my mind.

  ‘If anything strange does happen, please come by the magic club.’

  This certainly qualified as something strange.