It seems like another problem has found me...

  “Pardon me, can you save me?”

  ‘Save?’

  “How can I help you?”

  “You go to Guuigaoka High School, do you not? I have business there, but I seem to have found myself lost. Would you be so kind as to point me in the right direction?”

  If you were trying to get to Guuigaoka from Sousaku, how did you end up here? How do you get lost in this day and age? You have a phone, don’t you? Just use Google Maps. Don’t bother me.

  But, of course, I didn’t say any of that because I’m a nice guy.

  “You just head straight down that road for a bit and you’ll be right there. It’s built on top of the hill, so once you get close enough, you can just follow the slope.”

  I pointed down the road I had just come from.

  “Thank you so very much. Would you be so kind as to tell me my savior’s name?”

  I bowed slightly.

  “My name is Matsuda Akio. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “I simply must thank you again, Matsuda-sama. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  She accompanied this with a curtsy.

  Overwhelming. Her rich girl aura is overwhelming.

  “Well, if that’s all you needed, I’ll be going.”

  I just want this to be over...

  “Please, before you go, is there anything I can do to repay you?”

  I didn’t do anything worth repayment.

  “It’s fine, you don’t need to do anything.”

  She shook her head.

  “Papa told me to always repay the kindness done to me. He will never forgive me if I let you leave without doing you a favor.”

  Her ‘papa’ seems kind of strict.

  “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Don’t worry about it.”

  “Papa will know—he’s always watching over me from heaven.”

  Oh...

  I nervously downed the rest of my Pocarius. I had a habit of drinking whenever I felt nervous if I happened to have a drink in hand. I had unconsciously been sipping away at it during the entire conversation.

  “Umm...”

  I didn’t know how to respond and was now nervously screwing and unscrewing the cap of the Pocarius bottle.

  “If you can’t think of anything, would you be so kind as to let me dispose of that bottle for you?”

  “Sure.”

  I held out the bottle towards her.

  She reached out to grab the bottle, wrapping both of her hands completely around it. She cradled the bottle with both of her hands, my own hand trapped helplessly underneath.

  Of course, I was super used to holding hands with girls now, so this didn’t excite me at all (lie).

  “Umm, I can’t let go if you grab the bottle like that...”

  “I’m terribly sorry.”

  She let go and grabbed the bottle by a part my hand wasn’t holding on to and I let go of it, giving it to her.

  “There’s no need to apologize. Well, take care.”

  I want to get out of here as fast as possible before anything else can happen.

  “Please wait!”

  Too late.

  “Mama told me to always make amends if I impose on someone. I simply must do something to apologize for making you feel uncomfortable.”

  Let me guess—she’s also watching over you from heaven?

  “It’s fine. It didn’t make me feel uncomfortable at all, so you don’t need to do anything to apologize.”

  She seemed unsatisfied with my answer.

  “Brother told me that lying is bad and to never trust anyone who would lie to me—however, sister told me to never doubt others. Oh dear, whatever should I do in this situation?”

  How many more dead relatives do you have?

  “I’m not lying. It really didn’t bother me. If anything, I enjoyed it, so there’s nothing to repay me for.”

  “If you insist...”

  I insist.

  “Take care.”

  “I hope one day our paths may cross once again, Matsuda-sama.”

  She curtsied again before leaving.

  Is there something in this city’s water supply that makes all the girls strange or am I just a magnet for weirdos?

  12 - Departure

  “Ha ha ha! Don’t cause too much trouble while we’re gone, kids.”

  “Make sure you eat well-balanced meals, all right, dears? Don’t just eat cup ramen every day. And make sure to clean every once in a while—you know where the vacuum is, right?”

  “Yes, Mom. We’ll be able to handle ourselves.”

  “I have all kinds of plans for meals. By the time you come back, Onii-chan will be addicted to my cooking!”

  “Akio dear, please watch over her.”

  “I will.”

  Fuyuko in the kitchen is a scary thought.

  It was Saturday, and our parents were leaving for their two-week-long anniversary trip.

  “Ha ha! Before we head out, let me talk with Akio, just us guys.”

  Dad grabbed me by the shoulder and led me out of the entryway and to another room.

  “What do you want to talk about?”

  He gave me a thumbs-up with a grin spread all the way across his face.

  “I know you’re a healthy young man, so I won’t mind if you bring a girl home while we’re gone. It’s the perfect chance.”

  “Well, if I get the opportunity...”

  I don’t want to talk about this with my dad. Get this over with.

  He fished around in his pocket for something and placed it in my hand.

  “If you do manage to score, make sure to use these. They might be a little small for you, though. HA HA HA!”

  He slapped me on the back.

  I didn’t need to look at them to know what they were. I hurriedly shoved them in my pocket.

  “I will.”

  Please, let this be over.

  “And if that’s not enough, there are more in the top drawer of the nightstand. Just don’t look in the drawer below that unless you’re feeling really adventurous. HA HA HA HA HA HA!”

  He slapped me on the back even harder this time.

  Nope. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to think about my parents having sex.

  You know, they had to have sex in order for you to be born right?

  Yeah, but I don’t want to think about it!

  “Don’t you two need to leave soon?”

  “One more thing. If Fuyuko brings a guy home, make sure he’s worthy of her. I’m not handing my precious daughter over to just anyone.”

  She’s not yours to hand over—she can decide what she wants to do with her own life.

  However.

  “Don’t worry about that. I won’t let some bastard get close to my little sister.”

  I can’t say I don’t feel similarly. I don’t think it’s very likely, though.

  After this exchange, we returned to the entryway.

  I didn’t like talking to my dad, for many reasons.

  “Akio dear, the tickets are in the envelope stuck to the fridge. Make sure Fuyuko and Yuriko have a safe trip tomorrow.”

  “I will.”

  “Well then, we’re off to go make you two another sibling.”

  “Come on, honey.”

  Stop. Please, stop.

  I sighed after the door closed behind them.

  “Onii-chan, what did you and dad talk about?”

  “Nothing important.”

  “Hmm, okay.”

  Huh. I figured she would be more persistent.

  Fuyuko let out a large yawn before muttering something.

  “Imma go back to bed, I couldn’t sleep at all last night, and now I feel like butt.”

  “The concert isn’t even until tomorrow night.”

  “It’s just too exciting!”

  “Well, get as much rest as you can today. It would be a problem if you were too tired to go tomorrow.”

  Fuyuko put both of her hands on her head and cried in anguish.

  “No, no, no. That’s too horrible to think about! Why would you even say that, Onii-chan?! Do you want to invite misfortune upon me?!”

  “It’ll be fine as long as you get some rest.”

  Fuyuko trudged up the stairs and to her room.

  “Easier said than done...”

  13 - Misfortune

  “Onii-chamb, I’m shick.”

  The tears crawling down Fuyuko’s face mixed with the snot pouring from her nose, and she had huge bags under her eyes. Apparently, she hadn’t been able to sleep all night again.

  How unfortunate.

  “Your nose...”

  I handed her a tissue and she noisily blew into it.

  “I’m not gunna be able to fo to the concert like dish!”

  The tissue didn’t seem to help that much, so I handed her another one.

  I thought it was going to be kind of a pain in the ass to shepherd both Fuyuko and Yuriko, but I was kind of been looking forward to it too...

  “Give me your phone. I’ll call Yuriko and tell her that we won’t be able to go.”

  “No! We’ve both been looking forward to this for so long! You two can go without me, can’t you?”

  “Then who’s going to watch over you? You want me to leave you home alone when you’re this sick?”

  “I can get somebody from school to visit. Shii-chan is probably free.”

  “The concert will keep us out late, they might have to stay the night.”

  “I’m sure I can arrange something. Please, Onii-chan!”

  “...”

  “I’ll never forgive you.”

  There it is. The ‘I’ll never forgive you’ trump card. She knows she can get whatever she wants if she says that. Someday, I’ll have to stop spoiling her.

  Someday...

  “Fine.”

  “I love you, Onii-chan!”

  She tried to hug me, but I pushed her away.

  I didn’t want to get sick too.

  “Yuriko has to agree to it, though.”

  Fuyuko pulled out her phone and started searching through her contacts.

  “She’ll agree. I’m sure of it.”

  “Really? I don’t think she will be able to enjoy the concert with just the two of us. It would probably be really awkward the entire time.”

  “It might be awkward, but that doesn’t mean she won’t enjoy it.”

  What’s that supposed to mean?

  “I don’t want to feel awkward. It sucks. How could you enjoy that?”

  Fuyuko looked up from her phone and sighed, shaking her head.

  “Onii-chan, you can be pretty dense sometimes. You’ll never understand a girl’s heart like that.”

  “...”

  She finally pressed the call button and put the phone up to her ear, waiting for Yuriko to pick up.

  “Either way, she’ll agree if I tell her to.”

  I snatched the phone out of her hand and held it up out of her reach.

  “I’m not going to let you pressure her into going if she doesn’t want to. She has to agree on her own terms. I’ll talk to her.”

  Fuyuko looked annoyed at me suddenly grabbing her phone, but she ultimately relented with a shrug.

  “That’s fine. If you don’t believe me, see for yourself. I guarantee she’ll agree.”

  How is this girl so confident? Does she get it from Dad? I wish I had inherited some of his delusional confidence.

  Eventually, Yuriko picked up.

  “Hewwo? Yawn. What do you want so early in the morning, Fuuko?”

  I feel like I heard something I shouldn’t have.

  “Umm, sorry. It’s actually Akio.”

  “A-A-Akio-san?! Wh-Wh-Wh-What are you doing, calling me from Fuuko’s phone?”

  I might be dense (Fuyuko’s opinion), but even I could tell that she was incredibly flustered.

  “Fuyuko is sick and won’t be able to go to the concert. I wanted to inform you about the change of plans.”

  “That’s really unfortunate. I guess we won’t be able to go...”

  “Well, Fuyuko said that we should go together, just the two of us. I wanted to make sure you were okay with that.”

  “Eh?! J-Just the two of us...”

  “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

  “...It’s fine...I still want to go.”

  Her voice was so quiet I could barely hear her.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes... Ah, don’t misunderstand! It’s not like I want to be alone with you or anything! It’s just that Fuuko would feel bad if the tickets went to waste. I’m doing it for Fuuko! Don’t misunderstand, okay?!”

  After that outburst, she hung up.

  100 points. Congratulations, Yuriko. You’ve passed your tsundere exam with flying colors.

  Wait. If she’s a tsundere, then that means...

  No. I don’t know that.

  She told you not to misunderstand, yet here you are...

  Don’t think about it.

  I handed the phone back to Fuyuko.

  She had a smug smile on her face.

  “See, Onii-chan? I told you so.”

  “Yeah, I guess you were right.”

  She puffed out her chest proudly.

  “I’m always right.”

  14 - Shii-chan

  “Onii-chan, Shii-chan said they’ll be here in a few minutes.”

  ‘Shii-chan’ was the name of one of Fuyuko’s school friends who had agreed to help us out. I didn’t know much about Fuyuko’s other friends besides Yuriko, so I had never met them before.

  Fuyuko was resting in bed. She seemed a little better than this morning, but there was still no way she could go to the concert. I left her bedroom and went downstairs to greet our guest.

  Ding dong.

  I opened the door right as ‘Shii-chan’ rang the doorbell, startling them. Their short hair and small build made them look very androgynous. Their clothes were kind of boyish, but at the same time cute, which wasn’t giving me any more hints at their gender. They were clutching the straps of a gym bag in their hands.

  Surely, they’re a girl, right? Fuyuko wouldn’t have called over a boy to stay in the house alone with her, right? She isn’t that oblivious.

  “Are you Fuyuko’s friend?”

  “Y-Yes. M-My name is Togawa Shinji. It’s nice to finally meet you, Nii-san.”

  “Wait here.”

  I closed the door in his face and ran back to Fuyuko’s room. Upon me throwing open the door, she cocked her head.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “‘What’s the matter’?! ‘Shii-chan’ is a boy, that’s what!”

  “He’s cute, isn’t he? He almost looks like a girl.”

  I can’t disagree with that.

  “His cuteness has nothing to do with the current situation.”

  “He acts pretty girly too. At school, he’s basically one of the girls.”

  But does he want to be thought of that way? Being ‘basically’ one of the girls is very different from ‘actually’ being one of the girls.

  “He’s still a boy, though! I can’t leave you alone with a boy! If Dad finds out, he’ll kill me!”

  I didn’t have the time to vet this boy right now. The plan was that I would meet up with Yuriko at the station after ‘Shii-chan’ arrived.

  “You’re overreacting. We’re just friends. He’s too timid to make a move, anyway.”

  Well, that seemed to match up with my first impression of him. But the power of puberty is unparalleled—who knows what could happen!

  Can I somehow contact Haruhi and get her to come instead?

  I had thought of that this morning, but Fuyuko said she had it under control.

  Damn, maybe I should have gotten her number...

  There’s no universe in which you could ask a girl for her number.

  We sometimes sent messages through Meteor Witches, but that was too unreliable for me to get a hold of someone on such short notice. I had no other choice.

  “Did his parents give the okay?”

  “He told me they said it was fine for him to sleep over at a friend’s house.”

  I think he might have left out an important detail there!

  “I don’t like this one bit, but I’ll go talk to him first.”

  “Why don’t you trust me, Onii-chan? I’m saying it’s not a problem.”

  I didn’t bother replying and returned to the front door.

  ‘Shii-chan’ was still standing right where I left him.

  “Come in.”

  He nodded meekly and entered. He took his shoes off and neatly put them to the side before sliding on a pair of house slippers I had left out for ‘Shii-chan.’

  “Thank you for having me.”

  I led him to the kitchen table and offered him a seat, before sitting down across from him.

  “I’m sure you’re aware of the...situation here, Shinji-kun.”

  He gulped and his eyes darted around.

  “Y-Yes. I promise not to do anything u-untoward with your little sister. I j-just really want to help her out. Sh-She doesn’t see me l-like that anyway...”

  His last statement was much quieter than the rest.

  That’s true. But it’s clear that you see her ‘like that.’

  A cold smile spread across my face.

  “You seem like a nice boy, so I’m willing to give you a chance.”

  I got up from my seat and walked over to him. Putting my hand on his shoulder, I leaned over to whisper in his ear. He was trembling.

  “—but, if you even think about doing anything, I’ll cut it right in half. You understand, Shinji-kun?”

  “Understood!”

  I patted him on the shoulder and relaxed my face.

  “I’m glad we were able to reach an understanding. I’ll show you around.”

  I don’t see myself as the sadistic type, but that was kind of fun. I hope it doesn’t awaken anything in me...

  15 - Misunderstandings

  With that situation sorted, I left for the train station. I kept nervously taking out the envelope and making sure I had the tickets on the way there. I would feel like an idiot if I forgot them. I might be slightly late, but we had planned well enough for that not to be a problem.