“I do love her...”

  “Right? ...And you love me too, right?”

  “Of course, I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  4 - Valentine’s Day Chocolates

  Fuyuko, Yuriko, and Haruhi all made chocolate together yesterday for Valentine’s Day. I wasn’t allowed to come downstairs, so I just chilled in my room. This was the first time I’d ever actually looked forward to it.

  Before we left for school, Fuyuko gave me chocolate.

  “Here you go, Onii-chan! It’s little sister chocolate!”

  “What’s ‘little sister chocolate’?”

  “I didn’t want to step on Haru-chi’s toes by giving you handmade chocolate—I figured that should be the exclusive right of your girlfriend—so it’s little sister chocolate instead!”

  Every year she gives me handmade chocolate. Well, this was still handmade—she was just calling it something different.

  I ruffled her hair.

  “Thanks.”

  At the intersection, Yuriko gave me chocolate.

  For some reason, she seemed really nervous.

  “H-H-Here you go, O-Onii-chan. I-It’s l-little sister chocolate.”

  Her face was bright red as she held the chocolate out towards me. And Fuyuko seemed to be enjoying herself as she gave a thumbs-up from the sidelines.

  Was this humiliation play?

  Don’t get me involved with your kinks...

  “D-Don’t misunderstand! I was just helping Fuuko make hers yesterday, so I had some myself! And who else could I give little sister chocolate to...”

  Little sister chocolate isn’t even a real thing! And you didn’t have to give it to anyone...

  But I’ll accept it.

  I ruffled her hair.

  “Thanks.”

  I think she died.

  At the station, Haruhi gave me chocolate.

  She’s my girlfriend, so of course it was handmade.

  “This is a first for me.”

  I had only ever received handmade chocolate from my little sister—which didn’t count.

  “Every year, my mother and I make chocolate together on Valentine’s Day, and I’ve given plenty of obligation and friend chocolates, but this is the first time I’ve done something like this.”

  I’m so lucky...

  “I’ll make sure to enjoy it.”

  “I’m sure you will. I put all of my feelings into it...”

  In that case, I would prefer to enshrine it forever. But it was made to be eaten—it inherently had a temporary existence.

  ...

  Don’t think about it.

  I pulled Haruhi into my chest.

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  In the classroom, Izumi gave me chocolate.

  She gave obligatory chocolate to everyone in class every year, so this was nothing special.

  Chiaki also gave me chocolate.

  Obligatory chocolate, of course, but she handed me a note along with it.

  ‘I still want to become your fan.’

  Maybe one day. I had to become a fan of myself first...

  I feel like that was everyone who would reasonably give me chocolate. Although, I wonder if Ayaka would have given me chocolate if she was still around. She didn’t seem like the type to give out handmade chocolate, but you never know. She would probably do it just to mess with me, but genuine, handmade chocolate from Ayaka? The gap moe would be off the charts...

  Anyway, not a bad haul.

  During lunch, Shuusuke gave me chocolate?

  It was obligatory chocolate, but still...

  Sorry, dude. The only person I’m gay for is my girlfriend.

  “Chocolate’s chocolate, but I’m not giving you anything for White Day. Girls only.”

  He punched me in the arm.

  “It’s not from me. It’s from Reina-chan.”

  “?”

  Why would she give me chocolate?

  “Also, she said she wanted to meet you in the park after school. She said you would know the one.”

  Why would she want to meet me? And on Valentine’s Day no less.

  “Okay.”

  Shuusuke grabbed me by the shoulder and looked me dead in the eyes.

  “I don’t know what she wants with you, but don’t try anything funny with my girlfriend, got it?”

  I think you should be more worried about her trying something funny with me...

  “Do you think that she’s the kind of girl to do something like that when she already has you?”

  I caught a brief flicker in his eyes.

  I knew what it was.

  Doubt.

  “No...”

  Maybe I shouldn’t have said that...

  “More importantly, do you think I’m the kind of guy to do anything like that after finally getting a girlfriend?”

  He gave a wry smile and slapped me on the back.

  “Of course not, dude. You’re too much of a virgin for that.”

  Aren’t you a virgin too?

  5 - Lamb to the Slaughter

  Haruhi went home immediately after school.

  That was fine. It wasn’t like we had to spend every day with each other.

  Even if we want to...

  But because of that, I was completely free to go to the park where Shinoyama was waiting for me.

  I didn’t know what she wanted, but I didn’t have anything else to do. I could hear her out, at the very least. Ayaka liked to cause mischief, but I didn’t think she was a bad person—I think she just wanted attention. Maybe Shinoyama was similar.

  Like usual, nobody else was in the park, so Shinoyama was sitting alone on the swings looking down at her feet. Her unnaturally blonde hair stood out like a sore thumb in the gray winter landscape.

  I took a seat on the swing next to her.

  “So, why did you want to meet with me?”

  She raised her head.

  “Firstly, I wanted to congratulate you and Haruhi again. As I said on our double date, you two truly are made for one another.”

  “Thanks, I guess. Speaking of, why did you lie back then?”

  She pouted and gave me an incredulous look.

  “Little ol’ me? Lie?”

  Come on.

  “When Shuusuke and Haruhi came back, you lied about what happened.”

  “I meant no harm by it—I was simply trying to earn you Haruhi’s favor.”

  “What about us holding hands in the past?”

  “That was the truth and nothing but the truth. I would never forget such an important day.”

  “I know you’re lying. I checked an old yearbook and couldn’t find you.”

  She covered her mouth and giggled.

  “Your heart is brimming with doubt, isn’t it?”

  That’s a weird thing to say, but I guess it’s not entirely wrong.

  “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

  She nodded.

  “Horikawa Saki.”

  “Huh?”

  What’s that supposed to mean?

  “It’s only natural that your search for Shinoyama Reina would be fruitless—there was no such person back then. Horikawa Saki, on the other hand...”

  Horikawa Saki didn’t ring any bells for me, but my memory isn’t exactly reliable.

  “So that’s your real name...”

  She grimaced.

  “Do you think that’s my ‘real name’ just because that’s what I was called in the past? Shinoyama Reina is my real name, because that’s what I go by now.”

  I seem to have struck a nerve.

  “I’m sorry. You’re right.”

  I thought it was a fake name, not one she genuinely identified with.

  “At least you know how to apologize. Well, am I cleared of your suspicion?”

  I sighed.

  “I’ll trust you for now. I’ll check the yearbook again when I get back.”

  She held back another giggle.

  “My my, you truly are trustless.”

  Is it that funny?

  “Whatever...”

  She shrugged.

  “If you remain unconvinced, talk to Asahina Yuuna. Saki was friends with her back then, so she can confirm it for you.”

  Asahina Yuuna? She’s the magic club president, right?

  “Well, is that all?”

  She shook her head.

  “There is also another matter I hoped to take care of. Care to guess?”

  “Umm, does it have something to do with Shuusuke?”

  “It’s Valentine’s Day...”

  “Do you want to know about his likes or something? I don’t actually know that much about him, so I can’t help you with that.”

  She sighed.

  “Your observational skills are in dire need of improvement...”

  I think that’s her way of saying ‘you really are an oblivious dumbass.’ I’m not that dumb—I was just trying to avoid it...

  “Didn’t Shuusuke give me your chocolate already?”

  She opened her schoolbag and removed a plastic bag containing a large piece of chocolate shaped like a heart.

  “That was simply so I could use him as a messenger.”

  Why the hell is this happening? I guess I’m finally popular, but it turns out being popular is a pain in the ass.

  “Well, whatever the case may be, I already have a girlfriend, and you already have Shuusuke. I’m not accepting anything from you.”

  “It’s not from me—I don’t hold those kinds of feelings for you—it’s from the past. It’s from her.”

  “And why does she want to give me chocolate now?”

  She sighed as she stood up from the swing and walked a few steps away.

  “Lately, I’ve been tying up a lot of loose ends from her life—it’s no good to let those kinds of things from the past fester, you know? It’s best to not leave anything unresolved at the end.”

  “The end?”

  She turned around and walked back towards me.

  “She had a huge crush on you, you know? And you were her first. I tried to put all of her feelings into it. I don’t need to hear your answer. I simply want you to know her feelings.”

  After she finished speaking, she held the bag containing the chocolate out towards me.

  Is she just going to ignore what I said? Whatever.

  I took the bag.

  “If that’s all you want, I can do that much.”

  She curtsied.

  “Thank you so very much, Matsuda-sama.”

  The bag was tied shut with a piece of red thread. I tried to untie it, but it was knotted too tight for me to get it apart with my fingers and I didn’t want to tear it open.

  I pointed to the thread.

  “Umm, what am I supposed to do about this?”

  She dug around in her schoolbag for a bit before pulling out a box cutter and handing it out to me.

  “Use this.”

  I took the box cutter.

  “Do you always carry around something like this?”

  She nodded with a smile on her face.

  “It’s good to be prepared. You never know when you might need to cut something...or someone.”

  Okay...

  Click click click.

  I clicked the box cutter’s blade out and carefully cut the thread. The thread fell to the ground, the bright red standing out against the brown dirt.

  “You mean like in self-defense?”

  “Of course. A cute girl like me can never be too careful, you know?”

  She is cute.

  Click click click.

  I clicked the box cutter’s blade back in and held it out to her.

  “It took you a while to dig it out of your schoolbag, though. I feel like that might be impractical for a self-defense situation.”

  She took the box cutter back.

  “Oh, this is my backup.”

  Is that so...

  I bent down to pick up the red thread.

  “Did this hold some kind of symbolic meaning to you?”

  She shook her head.

  “To me? No, not at all. It’s just meaningless trash to me.”

  I put the meaningless trash in my bag to throw away later.

  With the thread cut, I could get to the contents of the bag. I opened it up and retrieved the chocolate from inside. The bag was clear, so I already knew it was large and heart shaped, but holding it in my hand made me realize just how large it was. I brought it up to my mouth and took a small bite.

  It was sweet.

  Maybe too sweet.

  Definitely too sweet.

  A girl liked me this much back then? How did I not notice? Did I notice and just ignore her? How do I not remember?

  I put the rest of the chocolate back into the bag.

  “I’m not going to be able to eat all of it.”

  Shinoyama put her hands behind her back.

  “That’s fine. You understand her feelings now, don’t you?”

  “Yeah.”

  She nodded her head towards the bag still in my hand.

  “There’s something else in there.”

  There is?

  I checked the bag again. Sure enough, there was a smaller piece of chocolate in there as well. I hadn’t noticed it before because the other one was much more attention-grabbing.

  I held it up.

  “What’s this?”

  She turned her head away bashfully.

  “That one I put all of my feelings into...”

  I examined the bite-sized piece of chocolate.

  It was misshapen—well, I don’t know for sure that it was misshapen because I don’t know what shape it was supposed to be. It just looked like a blob.

  “I didn’t agree to a second one.”

  She was fidgeting slightly.

  “Umm, it’s supposed to be shaped like an apple, but it didn’t turn out that well...”

  Is she just going to ignore what I said, again?

  It’s like she was reading from a script and if I said anything that deviated too far from it, she would just keep going.

  Whatever.

  “Why an apple?”

  “Well, I love fairy tales, so I wanted to theme it after something from one of them. I felt the apple from Snow White to be most fitting.”

  I was more of a fan of Japanese animation, but Fuyuko had a Delsney phase once, so I’d been forced to watch my fair share of their movies.

  “Wasn’t that a poisoned apple?”

  Shinoyama pursed her lips as she thought for a moment.

  “So it was...”

  Did you somehow forget that key detail? I feel like that’s not the case...

  Theatrical.

  I feel like that’s the best word to describe her. Every action, every word was carefully considered. Nothing was unintentional—everything had meaning. That’s why she feels so off to me. And that’s why I can’t trust her.

  Or maybe you’re just being paranoid.

  That’s also possible. I get like that sometimes.

  I put the chocolate back into the bag and stood up.

  “If I want to properly taste your feelings, I should cleanse my palate first. Do you want anything from the vending machine too?”

  She shook her head.

  “Nothing that I want, the vending machine can provide.”

  Okay, weirdo.

  After a few steps towards the vending machine, I looked back over my shoulder.

  “You sure you don’t want anything?”

  She was still standing in the same spot with her hands behind her back, but she had turned to face me.

  She shook her head again.

  “Not from the vending machine, no.”

  I didn’t really care what her answer was.

  I proceeded to the vending machine, temporarily stored the bag of chocolate in my schoolbag, retrieved my wallet, put a few coins in, and pushed the button for an item.

  I picked up the hot can and put it away in my schoolbag.

  You’re being super paranoid right now.

  Better safe than sorry.

  I put a few more coins in and pushed the button for a bottle of water. As I grabbed the bottle, I heard quiet footsteps approaching. I turned around to find Shinoyama just a short distance away.

  I barely even heard her! How could she walk that quietly? Does she train at the same dojo as Fuyuko?

  Also, her walking with her hands behind her back like that really accentuated her bust—I mean—

  “Hello there.”

  She stepped forward and I instinctively stepped back, my back pressed up against the vending machine.

  “Matsuda-sama. How long do you intend to make me wait?”

  It’s only been like a minute!

  I wanted to have a little bit more time to think, but I guess she’s not going to allow that.

  I unscrewed the lid on the water bottle and took a sip.

  “Give me a sec.”

  She waited a second.

  “It’s been a second.”

  “You know what I meant...”

  She cocked her head.

  “I’m afraid I don’t. Do you expect me to be able to read your mind? You should be more exacting with your words.”

  “Like you are?”

  She nodded.

  “Like I am.”

  “Well then, wait until I’ve finished this.”

  I had already downed over half the bottle.

  “Do you need to drink the whole thing?”

  “No, but I want to. It’s best to not leave things unfinished—I heard that from someone once.”

  “Whoever gave you that advice must be quite intelligent.”

  “And beautiful.”

  Shinoyama’s eyes bore into me.

  She is close...

  “Haven’t you wasted enough of everyone’s time?”

  I finished off the last of the water bottle and screwed the cap back on.

  “I should throw this away first.”

  She took a few steps backwards.

  I sidled over to the recycling next to the vending machine and disposed of my water bottle. My back was no longer to the vending machine.