But she may have her reasons.

  In hindsight, I trust Sensei’s judgment on that.

  Shinji.

  I don’t know that much about him.

  He’s cute.

  I think he has insecurities about his appearance.

  Maybe I was a little envious of him.

  Ayaka.

  She was a lot.

  She was different from me in almost every way.

  She knew what she wanted.

  She didn’t deny a single part of herself.

  She taught me a lot about being abnormal.

  She tried to get me to expand my world.

  To try new things.

  To learn.

  I did learn.

  That I could never have sex.

  Even if a girl literally threw herself at me.

  The problem was with me.

  Because of ‘it.’

  Because of what I kept bottled up.

  I don’t want to think about it.

  However.

  That’s why I was here.

  I let ‘it’ wash over me.

  It was the same as always.

  Unbearably positive.

  Unbearably negative.

  I feel ‘it’ when I looked at girls.

  I like girls.

  So it’s probably just sexual attraction, right?

  That’s just how it felt for me.

  Maybe not for everyone.

  But people are different.

  That’s what I thought.

  I tried not to think about it more than that.

  And that was often a part of it.

  But it was mixed with something else.

  Envy.

  I’ve been putting it off.

  But this was it.

  Here’s where I’ll find what I’m looking for.

  What I want.

  Izumi.

  She taught me about demons.

  That you can never trust anyone.

  No matter how nice they seem.

  No matter how much you think you know them.

  No matter what they say.

  I told her what I wanted.

  Because she said I could.

  I wanted to try on her uniform.

  I always thought the girl’s uniform for our middle school was cute.

  Well, I always thought that all the clothes that girls wore were cute.

  Anyway, that wasn’t the problem.

  She was okay with that.

  ‘You would look cute as a girl.’

  I would.

  I did.

  It was the next part that was bad.

  16 - Metamorphosis

  “‘I want to be a girl.’”

  That’s what I want.

  I would prefer to have been born a girl.

  If I could go back to character creation, I would pick a girl.

  That’s always been the case.

  Being a boy is fine.

  Not good, but bearable.

  But being a man.

  I don’t want to be that.

  I can’t be that.

  If that’s what I have to become someday.

  I would rather die.

  I’ve always liked butterflies.

  Metamorphosis is metal as heck.

  But also...

  To have my body melted down into goo...

  To be reborn as something new, something beautiful...

  Of course I’d be envious.

  I hate my body.

  I hate how I feel.

  I hate how I think.

  I hate how I was raised.

  I hate what people assume about me.

  I hate what I will become.

  I can’t have a future like this.

  I can’t live with myself.

  I can’t live as what I am.

  That’s what I was afraid of finding out. That I couldn’t live. But I guess whether I acknowledged it or not, that would still be true.

  *****

  I let go of him.

  “That’s enough. You don’t need to figure everything out immediately. Just admitting that is a necessary first step.”

  “It took all of this...for a single step?”

  He had started crying at some point while he was thinking.

  I hadn’t seen him cry since whatever happened a few years ago.

  “In order to get anywhere, you have to take the first step. But you’re thinking about yourself now. You’re thinking about what you want, so you can work towards it. You still have a lot to learn about who you are, but that will all take time. And I’ll be there with you for the entire journey.”

  He turned around to face me.

  “Is it really okay? You’re not going to call me a pervert?”

  “Of course not. I want you to be happy. Whoever you are. Whatever you are. I don’t think that can be wrong as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. No matter what, you’re you. I’ll always be your little sister. I’ll always love you. That’s all that matters.”

  “Thank you. I love you too.”

  “This is an ending that you never considered. An ending that we can only reach because we worked together. You shouldn’t have been pushing me away—you needed to pull me closer.”

  He pulled me into his arms. It felt like my body was being crushed. Like he was trying to pull me into himself.

  “When you put it like that, I really am dumb.”

  “But you’re my dummy.”

  He patted my head like usual.

  “What would I do without you?”

  “You’ll never be without me.”

  “‘I love you so much, Fuyuko. Let’s be together forever.’”

  Yeah, that day was important for both of us.

  If he hadn’t come to me asking about that girl, Reina...

  Despite everything she did, maybe it was only because of her.

  So don’t say her life was pointless.

  “Even when we’re apart, I’ll always be there for you.”

  He loosened his hug and pulled back slightly, looking deep into my eyes with his hands on my shoulders.

  He usually avoided eye contact with me—with anyone, really.

  But now he was really looking at me.

  *****

  I stared deeply into Fuyuko’s eyes. I normally looked away so I never really noticed before, but...her eyes were large and round, and her irises were a beautiful shade of blue. A deep blue that reminded me of the cold depths of the ocean; however, they were dappled with the warm brightness of light scattering off the surface of the water. And her long eyelashes were still a little damp from when she had cried earlier.

  I...

  Fuyuko broke eye contact first, her cheeks flushing a deep red.

  “Why are you looking at me like that...?”

  “I really do have the cutest little sister in the world...”

  She pouted slightly.

  “You’re only noticing now...?”

  Maybe I didn’t let myself notice before...

  “I’m so lucky to have a little sister like you.”

  She shook her head.

  “It’s not just you—everyone has a little sister in their hearts. You just have to listen to her.”

  “Is that so...?”

  And my story continued...

  Epilogues

  1 - Morning of New Beginnings

  “I love you, Akki.”

  It was a normal morning—unlike the morning when my little sister handcuffed me to my bed, held a mirror up to my face, and forced me to confront my inner demons. I’m glad she did that, although she could have been a little less forceful.

  ‘If I wasn’t forceful, nothing would have happened.’

  She was right. She was always right.

  But this one was pretty normal.

  “I love you too, Fuyuko.”

  Fuyuko rambled about her most recent obsession over breakfast—some underground idol named Mia.

  Now that we all went to the same school, Fuyuko, Yuriko, and I walked to school together.

  I never did work up the courage to talk to ‘that girl.’ She had graduated now, so that chance was gone.

  I hope wherever she is, she’s doing well.

  Izumi greeted me as I entered the classroom.

  “Good morning, Matsuda-san.”

  On the way to my seat, I checked out the cover of the reading girl’s book.

  Oh, and the running girl was late for school again.

  During lunch, I played Meteor Witches with SemiZemi.

  Lately, I’ve been trying to be more social, so we actually had a bit of a rapport now. I had learned that she was a girl and that she had just started university.

  ...

  It’s not like I was thinking that if by some coincidence we ended up meeting in real life, I might have a chance with her, okay? I’m not that much of a pathetic daydreamer.

  Oh, and Shuusuke was saying some shit about a new girlfriend, I think—I wasn’t really paying attention. He better not have fallen for another trickster...I don’t want a sequel to the last one.

  I don’t want to think about that anymore...

  After school, I went to the school library.

  I wanted to try writing something, so I was looking to get some inspiration by reading something new.

  I pulled Kokoro by Natsume Soseki off the shelf and looked for a place to sit. In the back corner of the library, I found two beanbag chairs next to each other. One of them already had a girl sitting in it—the reading girl from my class.

  I plopped down next to her and cracked open Kokoro.

  And my story continued...

  2 - Sometime, Somewhere

  “Excuse me.”

  I turned around to see an older, plain-looking girl with long straight black hair. At least her glasses made her somewhat memorable.

  “Yes? May I help you?”

  “I just wanted to know if you had an older brother. You have the same family name as someone I met once. I thought you might be related.”

  She had a sad look in her eyes, but at the same time there was a glimmer of hope.

  “Unfortunately, I don’t.”

  “Oh.”

  She looked on the verge of tears, and that faint glimmer of hope began to fade.

  “I do have an older sister, though.”

  It hung on. By just a thread, but it was still alive. Her head perked up.

  “Really? Might I ask her name?”

  “Akiko. Cute, isn’t it?”

  “Yes...it’s very cute.”

  The girl was crying now, but the sadness in her eyes had completely left.

  “Is that all you wanted from me?”

  The girl bowed deeply.

  “Yes. Thank you very much.”

  I paused.

  “You know, Onee-chan is away at university right now, but the next time she comes back home, I could plan to introduce you two, if you want.”

  The girl looked up. Her face laid bare the raging battle of emotions in her mind, before settling on a melancholic expression.

  “I...don’t think I should. Thanks for offering, though.”

  “I see. If that’s how it is, then I’m assuming we won’t see each other again?”

  “Probably not. Goodbye, Matsuda-san.”

  “Goodbye, girl whose name I don’t know.”

  “Ah, I never introduced myself. My name is...”

  The girl trailed off. Was she unsure of what her own name was?

  “—my name is Maria.”

  “That’s a cute name as well. It sounds foreign. Is one of your parents non-Japanese?”

  “No. They’re both Japanese. Kihihihi, you see, Maria is my true name. It’s the name I chose for myself.”

  The girl smiled as she said this.

  I returned the smile.

  “It’s a wonderful thing, isn’t it? Choosing a name for yourself.”

  3 - Morning Call 2

  One morning, during my time at university, Fuyuko called me. That wouldn’t be notable by itself—she did that every morning to tell me she loved me—no, the notable part was that she was crying. Instead of her usual words of affection, there were only strangled sobs coming from the other side of the phone.

  She acted weird the entire conversation—it seemed like her memories were all messed up—she couldn’t seem to tell the difference between reality and the nightmare she had woken up from.

  I’ve heard about those nightmares from Yuriko before—she’s been having them ever since they started going out, perhaps even longer—and they have been getting worse lately.

  Well, hopefully she will get better soon.

  “I love you, Fuyuko. Talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Yeah...I can talk to you tomorrow, can’t I?”

  “Of course you can, I’m not going anywhere. ‘Even when we’re apart, I’ll always be there for you.’”

  She started crying again.

  “Of course...”

  “Bye.”

  “Bye...Onee-chan.”

  I hung up.

  I heard the sheets rustle from behind me.

  “Was that your girlfriend?”

  I turned around to face the girl in my bed.

  “No, it was my little sister.”

  “’Cause you looked like a lovesick idiot, y’know.”

  “Well, I do love her, so that makes sense.”

  “Hmm...”

  I flicked her forehead.

  “Besides, I wouldn’t have fucked you if I had a girlfriend.”

  “You sure about that? Do you think a fuckface like you could have resisted my negotiation techniques?”

  “Don’t call me that.”

  She gave me a cheeky grin.

  “Don’t call you wha~t?”

  “Don’t call me a fuckface. I’m not a fuckface.”

  She stuck out her tongue.

  “Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it, fuckface?”

  I reached out and wrapped my hand around her throat, leaning in to whisper in her ear.

  “I’ll tell you what I’m going to do...”

  And my story continued...

  4 - The End

  I am Shinoyama Reina.

  I love nothing.

  I wasn’t always this way. I used to be a naive little girl. A hopeless romantic.

  You were my first, you know?

  I was crying. I had lost my family. But I still had to go to school. To live. Like nothing had happened. It was too cruel.

  But you saw me. Sitting alone. Crying alone. You saw me. Alone in the cold. And you comforted me. You held my hand. You told me it was going to be okay. That you were there for me. You talked to me.

  In that moment, it meant everything to me.

  You were so kind.

  You were so warm.

  You were my first love.

  And the first to betray me.

  I never saw you again. Apparently, it didn’t mean anything to you. I didn’t mean anything to you. They were empty words. Lies.

  There were more. Many more.

  More loves.

  More lies.

  More betrayals.

  More...demons.

  I couldn’t take it anymore.

  I couldn’t be myself anymore.

  I had to be someone else, just to survive in this world.

  So I wanted to teach them all.

  The lesson I had learned so painfully.

  The lesson I paid for with my life.

  I would teach them.

  Every.

  Last.

  One.

  Of.

  Them.

  And I did.

  Each time, sweeter than the last.

  Each time, a deeper wound than the last.

  Each time, a longer time coming than the last.

  And now, you’re the last one.

  The last person I got revenge on.

  It was a long journey to get here.

  It took a long time to set it all up.

  It took cooperation from some old friends.

  It didn’t go entirely according to plan.

  But it was worth it.

  The payoff was all worth it.

  Because with this, my revenge is complete.

  My life is complete.

  I got what I wanted.

  You’ll never be able to forget me again.

  Isn’t that romantic?

  It sounds like something from a storybook.

  But it’s not fiction.

  It’s real.

  I made it real.

  We’ll be connected by the red string of fate for all eternity.

  You were my first, and my last.

  From ‘The Beginning.’

  Until ‘The End.’

  This was my story.

  And my story is over.

  The End.

  5 - Those Who Are Not Human

  “Do you regret it? Sacrificing your humanity for a pathetic wretch like them? I’m still surprised your head didn’t explode.”

  “As their little sister, I’m the only one that’s allowed to insult them. It’s not nice for you to call them something like that.”

  “Well, I’m not nice.”

  “But no, I don’t regret it one bit. This is the perfect ending.”

  “You’ll never be able to be by their side again. Not as a human, at least. Can you really be satisfied while she gallivants around in your place? Aren’t you jealous?”

  “That’s not true. She is me. I’ll always be by their side. And this way, it’s not just them—I can be by everyone’s side. I can be everyone’s perfect little sister. Even the people who have no one else, I’ll be there for them in their hearts.”

  “This kind of existence isn’t something as beautiful as that.”