“Go for it, dude.”

  I’m not going to hit on a girl just because we’re alone together. Don’t think we’re the same.

  “Now, place your hands on the crystal ball.”

  I did as she requested and was surprised at how unnaturally cold the crystal ball felt. I looked around the room to see if there was some kind of mini fridge or cooler that she could have kept the ball in to make it this cold, but I didn’t see anything.

  You can’t just accept the fact that it’s cold?

  “Now, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and concentrate your soul into the crystal ball.”

  I closed my eyes.

  I took a deep breath.

  I concentrated my soul into the crystal ball?

  “How am I supposed to do that?”

  “Kihihi. I thought you were an adept magic user, yet you know nothing of soul control?”

  “I’m not any kind of magic user, let alone an adept one.”

  “Hmm, try imagining your essence coalescing inside your body and focus it through your extremities into the crystal ball.”

  “I’ll try that.”

  I took a deep breath.

  I imagined my essence coalescing inside my body and focused it through my extremities into the crystal ball.

  I don’t feel like that made any difference...

  “Wow! It’s so big!”

  What’s big? And don’t say something that embarrassing so loud! Someone might get the wrong idea.

  “And it has such a beautiful color...”

  What the hell is she talking about?

  I opened my eyes to see the crystal ball giving off a mysterious glow. It really was pretty, but as soon as I thought that, a hand slapped me across the face.

  “No peeking!”

  Ow. Okay, jeez. I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal. Anyway, how had the crystal started glowing?

  Better not think about that too hard.

  “What do I need to do next?”

  “You don’t have to move a muscle. Just leave everything to me.”

  She laid her hands on top of mine, and I let out a sudden yelp of surprise. Compared to the chilly crystal ball, they were so soft and warm. And when she wasn’t talking like a chuuni freak, her voice was actually quite sensual.

  My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.

  “...”

  “It’s truly massive. Your capacity for magic energy.”

  “...”

  “Hey. Why don’t you become my apprentice?”

  “...”

  “I could teach you so many things.”

  “So...how about that soul reading?”

  “Oh, right.”

  Did you forget why we were doing this in the first place?

  “Kihihi. Lend me your strength, O nine great birds. Reveal unto me the contents of this boy’s soul and the fate laid within.”

  She’s back on her chuuni bullshit again...

  “So...?”

  “Hmm...”

  Uh-oh. Is it something bad? Would I want to know if it is?

  I thought you didn’t believe in magic.

  Oh yeah. I had gotten sucked into the moment. There’s nothing to worry about.

  “What is it?”

  “It’s nothing.”

  I let out a sigh of relief.

  “Oh, I thought it was something bad because you seemed so conflicted.”

  “No. I mean, it’s nothing. You don’t have a future at all.”

  “Eh?”

  Isn’t that bad? Like I’m going to die soon or something?

  “Well, maybe I’m misreading it. I’m still learning, so it might just be difficult for me to read someone with more magical energy than me. And just being able to read someone’s soul doesn’t mean you can understand it. Let me try something.”

  I felt her warmth leave me as her hands lifted off mine.

  I don’t know what she’s doing, but I don’t want to get slapped again, so I’m not going to try and look.

  Even though I should have been able to hear the sounds of other students participating in club activities throughout the school’s campus, I could only hear the sound of my own breathing. Without her hands on top of mine, it felt like I was floating through space, alone in the universe with nothing to tether me to this world.

  Please come back to me.

  I don’t want to be alone.

  Then I felt her warmth return. Except this time her hands were slimy.

  “What did you do?”

  “I coated my hands in my own saliva.”

  Don’t just say that like it’s normal! That’s not normal! That’s gross! And after I had gotten so sentimental too!

  “Why would you do that?!”

  “Bodily fluids contain magical energy, therefore they are used in a variety of magic rituals. I thought it might help.”

  What kind of eroge-like logic is that?

  “I thought saliva would be the least objectionable. If you would prefer, I could use my blood, or even—”

  “Saliva is fine, thanks.”

  There is something wrong with this girl...

  “Hmm...”

  “Did it help?”

  “I think I can see something...”

  “...”

  “!”

  “?”

  All I could do was sit there with my hands sandwiched between the frighteningly cold crystal ball and her hot and slimy hands.

  This girl is a pervert for sure.

  Takes one to know one.

  “!!”

  “??”

  Are we communicating wordlessly?

  “No...”

  Of course we aren’t...wait, did she read my mind?

  “No.”

  Yeah, there’s no way. Mind reading isn’t possible.

  Are you sure about soul reading though?

  Would you be okay with her knowing?

  “No!”

  I felt my hands lurch sideways and I opened my eyes at the sudden outburst. The perfectly spherical crystal ball had been flung to the floor and rocketed over to the other end of the classroom, bouncing off of the legs of tables and desks. The surface of the crystal ball was now covered in a web of cracks, but it hadn’t fully broken, and a glimmer of its former brilliance still remained in it, illuminating the floor as it went.

  I turned to the girl sitting across from me. She had scooted her chair back away from the table and her arms were wrapped around herself. Her mouth moved, but no sound came out as her gaze looked off into the distance.

  “Are you okay? What happened?”

  I don’t know what to do in this kind of situation.

  She looked at me, or rather, looked in my direction—it didn’t seem like her eyes were focused on me. Then, her voiceless words became audible.

  “Disgusting.”

  That’s rich coming from you, Miss Saliva Hands.

  “Disgusting.”

  One word, repeated over and over again.

  “Disgusting.”

  It almost reminded me of something, someone.

  It reminded me of her.

  It reminded me of myself.

  I don’t need to remember.

  It would be better if I don’t remember.

  I shouldn’t remember.

  I can’t remember.

  A sharp pain felt like it was going to split my skull open. I fell to the ground clutching my head in my hands, desperately trying to keep it in one piece.

  This sucks.

  I felt like I was going to throw up.

  Oh.

  I already had.

  This really sucks.

  The contents of my stomach.

  All over my hands.

  Hot.

  Chunky.

  Sticky.

  Slimy.

  Gross.

  The contents of my soul.

  “‘Disgusting.’”

  I’m so fucked up.

  I don’t know how long it’s been.

  I don’t remember what happened.

  I just know I feel bad.

  And I want it to end.

  A girl was crying.

  Surely, because of me.

  Surely, it’s my fault.

  “I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have gone so far. I’m really sorry.”

  Her voice seemed so angelic.

  11 - Unfamiliar Ceiling

  When I opened my eyes, I found myself looking up at an unfamiliar ceiling. I sat up to get a look around the room. My head was suffering from a dull ache, my lips were terribly parched, and there was an awful taste in my mouth. Upon looking around the room I was able to identify it as the school infirmary. I’d only been there a few times, but that seemed like the most likely place.

  Satisfied with my conclusion, I lay back down.

  “Looks like you’re awake. Are you feeling okay?”

  The voice came from the school nurse, Naruse Makoto. Everyone who went to our school would be able to identify her instantly. The white lab coat that she wore complemented her figure perfectly. Many students had found themselves in the infirmary with only a minor ache or pain just to get an eyeful of her.

  Not me, of course. I have more sophisticated taste than those philistines who only care about the size of a woman’s breasts. I only mentioned them because they are an important part of her character.

  Her appearance aside, she was also famous because she would take any opportunity to talk about her wife.

  “My head hurts a little and I’m thirsty. But, I think I’ll be fine in a few minutes.”

  “That’s good to hear. Saya-chan was in such a panic when she carried you here. I was pretty worried.”

  She handed me a plastic water bottle she had gotten from a nearby mini fridge.

  Cold.

  Hands.

  Wet.

  Hands.

  I winced as a flash of pain pierced through my head. I tried to ignore it as I unscrewed the lid and gulped down the cool water. It took half the bottle before the awful taste in my mouth was gone and I felt refreshed.

  “Where is Nozawa-san now?”

  “She left as soon as she dropped you off. She told me to tell you she’s sorry and...”

  She trailed off seemingly unsure if she should say the next part.

  “I don’t think this part was a message for you, but she said it would probably be better if she wasn’t here when you woke up.”

  “That’s probably true.”

  I can’t think of anyone I would want to see less at that moment.

  “I don’t know what happened between you two, but I can assure you that Saya-chan is a good girl. She can get carried away sometimes, but she always means well.”

  I don’t think she was the problem.

  “You two seem close.”

  “I’m the advisor for the magic club.”

  “You mean the magic club student organization?”

  Her lips curved into a slight smile.

  “Yes. That’s quite the mouthful, though. Well then, if you’re feeling well enough to joke around, then I don’t need to watch over you.”

  I’ll have you know, I can joke around even when I feel like complete shit.

  She turned around and walked over to another part of the infirmary, presumably to do whatever it is that a school nurse does.

  I closed my eyes and tried to rest some more, but I couldn’t stop my thoughts from wandering to what had happened in that classroom.

  Why did Nozawa-san start acting so weird?

  Anyone would react that way if they saw the inside of your soul.

  But that’s not possible.

  How else can you explain her actions?

  If it’s not possible, then there has to be some other kind of explanation.

  I thought back to the conversation I had with Shuusuke before we left for the magic club. At the time, I thought that his fortune came true due to either sheer coincidence, or...

  Deception.

  A trick.

  A setup.

  The more I thought about it, the more it made sense.

  Everything was planned: having Shuusuke leave the room so we were alone, freezing the crystal ball to make things more mysterious, making me close my eyes so I couldn’t see what was happening while heightening my other senses, placing her hands on mine to make things more intimate, dropping the speech quirks to seem more candid.

  All of it. All of it was calculated.

  I remember the way I felt when she had pulled her hands away from mine. That feeling is what she wanted. It was all designed to create an atmosphere where I trusted her completely.

  All so she could rip it away.

  Who knows how deep this conspiracy goes?

  Shuusuke could be in on it too—he was weirdly insistent on me going to the magic club. And if that’s the case, was that whole back-and-forth about Asahina-senpai scripted? Whether it was planned or not, it probably helped lower my guard.

  But why did Shuusuke set me up?

  What am I talking about? We aren’t friends—he probably has plenty of reasons to hate me. Maybe that girl he met already has her hooks in him. He was set up by the magic club before, and now they’re using him to snare their next victim? Seems fairly likely.

  Why? Do you really think someone would do all that?

  I can’t understand it. It’s inhuman to me. Demonic. But, demons exist in this world.

  Why you? Is there anyone who would hate you enough to do that?

  I already speculated on Shuusuke’s motives. My memory is pretty bad—I can’t rule out the possibility that there’s someone I slighted in the past who wants to get back at me. Or, maybe it was just indiscriminate and it could have been anyone—I was just an easy mark due to my connection to Shuusuke.

  I don’t want to think about this anymore. This theory is good enough. It has to be true. Because the other option is impossible and too horrible to think about if it were true. Thinking can only cause me more pain.

  Don’t worry about inconsistencies.

  Don’t worry about motives.

  Don’t think anymore.

  Don’t worry anymore.

  My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door to the infirmary. After answering the door, Sensei came back to my bedside. With her hands in her pockets, she nodded her head towards the person following her.

  “She’s here to see you.”

  12 - Unexpected Visitor

  Tick.

  Tock.

  The sound of the clock reverberated throughout the silence.

  Sensei had left to attend to some business elsewhere, so it was just the two of us in the infirmary. Being alone together with a girl in the school infirmary should have been exciting, and yet it was nothing of the sort. It was awkward and tense, but not in that way. We hadn’t even spoken a word to each other at all yet. She had pulled up a chair next to my bed where I was resting with my eyes closed.

  This whole situation is making my receding headache come back...

  I opened my eyes, turning my head to look at her.

  “Why are you here?”

  I can’t really think straight right now...maybe that came off as harsher than I intended.

  “Amano-san told me what happened...”

  Her eyes darted around, avoiding looking directly at me. As her voice trailed off, the room returned to silence.

  She can’t even look at me.

  Tick.

  Tock.

  That troublemaker. He had probably been listening in from outside.

  Why’d he have to go and get you involved? What was his angle?

  “I meant, why did you bother coming to see me?”

  “After hearing what happened, of course I would be worried about you—”

  Hearing a girl say that, it should have been exciting, and yet...

  “—I’m the class president, after all.”

  Izumi gave a weak smile as she strained to act more like her usual, cheerful self. Although it sounded less like she was being cheerful and more like she was about to cry.

  Pretending to be nice to me would do that to someone.

  “You don’t have to push yourself.”

  Her sour expression returned as she cast her eyes downward, avoiding my face again. Her hands restlessly played with the zipper of the schoolbag she had clutched in her lap.

  “I’m sorry...for what happened.”

  It wasn’t something she needed to apologize for. She wasn’t even involved. She was just like that.

  Tick.

  Tock.

  “You know...if you keep being so nice to everyone all the time, one day some idiot’s going to fall for you.”

  Her hands stopped and the zipper she had been playing with slowly swung back and forth before eventually coming to a stop.

  Tick.

  Tock.

  “Do you still hate me? I’ve apologized, haven’t I?”

  Take a hint...

  I lay back down and closed my eyes.

  “No.”

  Hate isn’t the right word...

  And you’ve never really apologized. You’ve only said ‘I’m sorry.’

  “Then why won’t you talk to me?”

  “I have nothing to say.”

  Tick.

  Tock.

  “Well...I don’t think you’re a bad person. I want you to know that. I only want what’s best for you. Because...”

  She hesitated.

  “—because you’re a part of my class...”

  “I don’t care what you think.”

  Tick.

  Tock.

  She sighed.

  “Fine, then. Be that way. I shouldn’t have even bothered...”

  I could hear her get up from the chair and leave.

  I shouldn’t remember any of this.

  That would be the best thing I could do for both of us.

  Just pretend it never happened.

  No.

  It didn’t happen.

  I decided to walk home instead of going to the station, because I wanted to be around less people. I usually did that when I was in a bad mood.

  Once I got home, I finished up the new event questline in Meteor Witches. One of my in-game friends invited me to join their party and farm some dungeons, but I didn’t feel like interacting with anyone else so I declined. Instead, I started a second playthrough of the latest FARMSOFT game.

  I died.

  I got lost.

  I died again.

  I lost my souls.