ACT THREE

  SCENE 1

  Original Text

  Enter HOTSPUR, WORCESTER, Lord MORTIMER, and Owen GLENDOWER

  MORTIMER

  These promises are fair, the parties sure,

  And our induction full of prosperous hope.

  HOTSPUR

  Lord Mortimer and cousin Glendower,

  Will you sit down? And Uncle Worcester—

  5

  A plague upon it, I have forgot the map.

  GLENDOWER

  No, here it is. Sit, cousin Percy

  Sit, good cousin Hotspur, for by that name

  As oft as Lancaster doth speak of you

  His cheek looks pale and with a rising sigh

  10

  He wisheth you in heaven.

  HOTSPUR

  And you in hell,

  As oft as he hears Owen Glendower spoke of.

  GLENDOWER

  I cannot blame him. At my nativity

  The front of heaven was full of fiery shapes,

  Of burning cressets, and at my birth

  15

  The frame and huge foundation of the earth

  Shaked like a coward.

  HOTSPUR

  Why, so it would have done

  At the same season if your mother’s cat

  Had but kittened, though yourself had never been born.

  GLENDOWER

  I say the earth did shake when I was born.

  HOTSPUR

  20

  And I say the earth was not of my mind,

  If you suppose as fearing you it shook.

  GLENDOWER

  The heavens were all on fire; the earth did tremble.

  HOTSPUR

  O, then the earth shook to see the heavens on fire,

  And not in fear of your nativity.

  25

  Diseasèd nature oftentimes breaks forth

  In strange eruptions; oft the teeming earth

  Is with a kind of colic pinched and vexed

  By the imprisoning of unruly wind

  Within her womb, which, for enlargement striving,

  30

  Shakes the old beldam earth and topples down

  Steeples and moss-grown towers. At your birth

  Our grandam earth, having this distemperature,

  In passion shook.

  GLENDOWER

  Cousin, of many men

  I do not bear these crossings. Give me leave

  35

  To tell you once again that at my birth

  The front of heaven was full of fiery shapes,

  The goats ran from the mountains, and the herds

  Were strangely clamorous to the frighted fields.

  These signs have marked me extraordinary,

  40

  And all the courses of my life do show

  I am not in the roll of common men.

  Where is he living, clipped in with the sea

  That chides the banks of England, Scotland, Wales,

  Which calls me pupil or hath read to me?

  45

  And bring him out that is but woman’s son

  Can trace me in the tedious ways of art

  And hold me pace in deep experiments.

  HOTSPUR

  I think there’s no man speaks better Welsh.

  I’ll to dinner.

  MORTIMER

  50

  Peace, cousin Percy. You will make him mad.

  GLENDOWER

  I can call spirits from the vasty deep.

  HOTSPUR

  Why, so can I, or so can any man,

  But will they come when you do call for them?

  GLENDOWER

  Why, I can teach you, cousin, to command the devil.

  HOTSPUR

  55

  And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the devil

  By telling truth. Tell truth and shame the devil.

  If thou have power to raise him, bring him hither,

  And I’ll be sworn I have power to shame him hence.

  O, while you live, tell truth and shame the devil!

  MORTIMER

  60

  Come, come, no more of this unprofitable chat.

  GLENDOWER

  Three times hath Henry Bolingbroke made head

  Against my power; thrice from the banks of Wye

  And sandy-bottomed Severn have I sent him

  Bootless home and weather-beaten back.

  HOTSPUR

  65

  Home without boots, and in foul weather too!

  How ’scapes he agues, in the devil’s name?

  GLENDOWER

  Come, here’s the map. Shall we divide our right

  According to our threefold order ta’en?

  MORTIMER

  The Archdeacon hath divided it

  70

  Into three limits very equally:

  England, from Trent and Severn hitherto,

  By south and east is to my part assigned;

  All westward, Wales beyond the Severn shore,

  And all the fertile land within that bound

  75

  To Owen Glendower; and, dear coz, to you

  The remnant northward, lying off from Trent.

  And our indentures tripartite are drawn,

  Which being sealèd interchangeably—

  A business that this night may execute—

  80

  Tomorrow, cousin Percy, you and I

  And my good Lord of Worcester will set forth

  To meet your father and the Scottish power,

  As is appointed us, at Shrewsbury.

  My father Glendower is not ready yet,

  85

  Not shall we need his help these fourteen days.

  (to GLENDOWER) Within that space you may have drawn together

  Your tenants, friends, and neighboring gentlemen.

  GLENDOWER

  A shorter time shall send me to you, lords,

  And in my conduct shall your ladies come,

  90

  From whom you now must steal and take no leave,

  For there will be a world of water shed

  Upon the parting of your wives and you.

  HOTSPUR

  Methinks my moiety, north from Burton here,

  In quantity equals not one of yours.

  95

  See how this river comes me cranking in

  And cuts me from the best of all my land

  A huge half-moon, a monstrous cantle out.

  I’ll have the current in this place dammed up,

  And here the smug and silver Trent shall run

  100

  In a new channel, fair and evenly.

  It shall not wind with such a deep indent,

  To rob me of so rich a bottom here.

  GLENDOWER

  Not wind? It shall, it must. You see it doth.

  MORTIMER

  Yea, but Mark how he bears his course, and runs me up

  105

  With like advantage on the other side,

  Gelding the opposèd continent as much

  As on the other side it takes from you.

  WORCESTER

  Yea, but a little charge will trench him here

  And on this north side win this cape of land,

  110

  And then he runs straight and even.

  HOTSPUR

  I’ll have it so. A little charge will do it.

  GLENDOWER

  I’ll not have it altered.

  HOTSPUR

  Will not you?

  GLENDOWER

  No, nor you shall not.

  HOTSPUR

  Who shall say me nay?

  GLENDOWER

  Why, that will I.

  HOTSPUR

  115

  Let me not understand you, then; speak it in Welsh.

  GLENDOWER

  I can speak English, lord, as well as you,

  For I was trained up in the English court,

  Where being but young I framèd to the harp

  Many an English ditty lovely well

  120

  And gave the tongue a helpful ornament—

  A virtue that was never seen in you.

  HOTSPUR

  Marry,

  And I am glad of it with all my heart:

  I had rather be a kitten and cry “mew”

  125

  Than one of these same meter balladmongers.

  I had rather hear a brazen can’stick turned,

  Or a dry wheel grate on the axletree,

  And that would set my teeth nothing an edge,

  Nothing so much as mincing poetry.

  130

  ’Tis like the forced gait of a shuffling nag.

  GLENDOWER

  Come, you shall have Trent turned.

  HOTSPUR

  I do not care. I’ll give thrice so much land

  To any well-deserving friend;

  But in the way of bargain, mark you me,

  135

  I’ll cavil on the ninth part of a hair.

  Are the indentures drawn? Shall we be gone?

  GLENDOWER

  The moon shines fair. You may away by night.

  I’ll haste the writer, and withal

  Break with your wives of your departure hence.

  140

  I am afraid my daughter will run mad,

  So much she doteth on her Mortimer.

  Exit GLENDOWER

  MORTIMER

  Fie, cousin Percy, how you cross my father!

  HOTSPUR

  I cannot choose. Sometime he angers me

  With telling me of the moldwarp and the ant,

  145

  Of the dreamer Merlin and his prophecies,

  And of a dragon and a finless fish,

  A clip-winged griffin and a moulten raven,

  A couching lion and a ramping cat,

  And such a deal of skimble-skamble stuff

  150

  As puts me from my faith. I tell you what—

  He held me last night at least nine hours

  In reckoning up the several devils’ names

  That were his lackeys. I cried “Hum,” and “Well, go to,”

  But marked him not a word. O, he is as tedious

  155

  As a tired horse, a railing wife,

  Worse than a smoky house: I had rather live

  With cheese and garlic in a windmill, far,

  Than feed on cates and have him talk to me

  In any summerhouse in Christendom.

  MORTIMER

  160

  In faith, he is a worthy gentleman,

  Exceedingly well read and profited

  In strange concealments, valiant as a lion,

  And as wondrous affable, and as bountiful

  As mines of India. Shall I tell you, cousin?

  165

  He holds your temper in a high respect

  And curbs himself even of his natural scope

  When you come cross his humor. Faith, he does.

  I warrant you that man is not alive

  Might so have tempted him as you have done

  170

  Without the taste of danger and reproof.

  But do not use it oft, let me entreat you.

  WORCESTER

  (to HOTSPUR) In faith, my lord, you are too willful-blame,

  And, since your coming hither, have done enough

  To put him quite beside his patience.

  175

  You must needs learn, lord, to amend this fault.

  Though sometimes it show greatness, courage, blood—

  And that’s the dearest grace it renders you—

  Yet oftentimes it doth present harsh rage,

  Defect of manners, want of government,

  180

  Pride, haughtiness, opinion, and disdain,

  The least of which, haunting a nobleman,

  Loseth men’s hearts and leaves behind a stain

  Upon the beauty of all parts besides,

  Beguiling them of commendation.

  HOTSPUR

  185

  Well, I am schooled. Good manners be your speed!

  Here come our wives, and let us take our leave.

  Enter GLENDOWER with the LADIES PERCY AND MORTIMER

  MORTIMER

  This is the deadly spite that angers me:

  My wife can speak no English, I no Welsh.

  GLENDOWER

  My daughter weeps; she’ll not part with you.

  190

  She’ll be a soldier too, she’ll to the wars.

  MORTIMER

  Good father, tell her that she and my aunt Percy

  Shall follow in your conduct speedily.

  GLENDOWER speaks to THE LADY in Welsh, and she answers him in the same

  GLENDOWER

  She is desperate here, a peevish self-willed harlotry,

  One that no persuasion can do good upon.

  THE LADY speaks again in Welsh

  MORTIMER

  195

  I understand thy looks. That pretty Welsh

  Which thou pourest down from these swelling heavens

  I am too perfect in, and but for shame

  In such a parley should I answer thee.

  THE LADY speaks again in Welsh

  I understand thy kisses and thou mine,

  200

  And that’s a feeling disputation;

  But I will never be a truant, love,

  Till I have learned thy language; for thy tongue

  Makes Welsh as sweet as ditties highly penned,

  Sung by a fair queen in a summer’s bower,

  205

  With ravishing division, to her lute.

  GLENDOWER

  Nay, if you melt, then will she run mad.

  THE LADY speaks again in Welsh

  MORTIMER

  O, I am ignorance itself in this!

  GLENDOWER

  She bids you on the wanton rushes lay you down

  And rest your gentle head upon her lap,

  210

  And she will sing the song that pleaseth you

  And on your eyelids crown the god of sleep,

  Charming your blood with pleasing heaviness,

  Making such difference ’twixt wake and sleep

  As is the difference betwixt day and night

  215

  The hour before the heavenly harnessed team

  Begins his golden progress in the east.

  MORTIMER

  With all my heart I’ll sit and hear her sing.

  By that time will our book, I think, be drawn

  GLENDOWER

  Do so and those musicians that shall play to you

  220

  Hang in the air a thousand leagues from hence,

  And straight they shall be here. Sit, and attend.

  HOTSPUR

  Come, Kate, thou art perfect in lying down.

  Come, quick, quick, that I may lay my head in thy lap.

  LADY PERCY

  Go, you giddy goose.

  The music plays

  HOTSPUR

  225

  Now I perceive the devil understands Welsh,

  And ’tis no marvel he is so humorous.

  By ’r Lady, he is a good musician.

  LADY PERCY

  Then should you be nothing but musical, for you are altogether governed by humors. Lie still, you thief, and

  230

  hear the lady sing in Welsh.

  HOTSPUR

  I had rather hear Lady, my brach, howl in Irish.

  LADY PERCY

  Wouldst thou have thy head broken?

  HOTSPUR

  No.

  LADY PERCY

  Then be still.

  HOTSPUR

  235

  Neither;’tis a woman’s fault.

  LADY PERCY

  Now God help thee!

  HOTSPUR

  To the Welsh lady’s bed.

  LADY PERCY

  What’s that?

  HOTSPUR

  Peace, she sings.

  Here THE LADY sings a Welsh song

  HOTSPUR

  240

  Come, Kate, I’ll have your song too.

  LADY PERCY

  Not mine, in good sooth.

  HOTSPUR

  Not yours, in good sooth! Heart, you swear like a comfitmaker’s wife! “Not you, in good sooth,” and “as true as I live,” and “as God shall mend me,” and “as sure as day”—

  245

  And givest such sarcenet surety for thy oaths

  As if thou never walk’st further than Finsbury.

  Swear me, Kate, like a lady as thou art,

  A good mouth-filling oath, and leave “in sooth,”

  And such protest of pepper-gingerbread,

  250

  To velvet-guards and Sunday citizens.

  Come, sing.

  LADY PERCY

  I will not sing.

  HOTSPUR

  ’Tis the next way to turn tailor, or be red-breast teacher. An the indentures be drawn, I’ll away within these two hours,

  255

  and so come in when ye will.

  Exit HOTSPUR

  GLENDOWER

  Come, come, Lord Mortimer; you are as slow

  As hot Lord Percy is on fire to go.

  By this our book is drawn. We’ll but seal,

  And then to horse immediately.

  MORTIMER

  With all my heart.

  Exeunt

  ACT THREE

  SCENE 1

  Modern Text

  HOTSPUR, WORCESTER, Lord MORTIMER, and Owen GLENDOWER enter.

  MORTIMER

  These commitments are reliable, our allies are solid, and the beginning of our project bodes well.

  HOTSPUR

  Lord Mortimer, and kinsman Glendower, won’t you please sit? And Uncle Worcester—Dammit! I forgot the map!

  GLENDOWER

  Here it is. Sit, kinsman Percy. Sit, good cousin Hotspur. For that is the name King Henry calls you, and whenever he says it, he grows pale, and with a sigh he wishes you were in heaven.

  HOTSPUR

  And you in hell, whenever he hears someone say “Owen Glendower.”

  GLENDOWER

  I don’t blame him. The sky was full of fiery meteors and comets when I was conceived, and when I was born, the entire earth shook like a coward.

  HOTSPUR

  Why, the same thing would have happened if your mother’s cat had given birth to kittens that day, whether you’d been born or not.

  GLENDOWER

  I say there was an earthquake when I was born.

  HOTSPUR

  And I say that if you think the earth shook because it was afraid of you, then the earth and I do not agree.

  GLENDOWER

  The heavens were all on fire, and the earth trembled.

  HOTSPUR

  Oh! Then the earth trembled when it saw the heavens on fire, and not in fear of your birth. When nature is diseased, strange eruptions can break forth. Often, the earth is pinched with a kind of colic, and troubled by gas in her belly. When that gas struggles to be released, it shakes old Mother Earth, bringing down steeples and moss-covered towers. When you were born, our Mother Earth was ill and shook with pain.