Table of Contents

  Cover

  Prologues

  Part 1 - Normal Days

  Part 2 - First Meetings

  Part 3 - Growing Feelings

  Part 4 - Bare Hearts

  Part 5 - Ayaka Takes Center Stage

  Part 6 - Beautiful Daydream

  Epilogues

  Afterword

  Bonus Textless Illustrations

  About J-Novel Club

  Copyright

  Prologues

  1 - The Beginning

  ‘That’ was the beginning of my story.

  I remember it like it was yesterday.

  The first time I met him.

  It was near the end of elementary school.

  After I had lost everything. Everyone.

  I had been sitting on a bench.

  It was cold. So cold.

  My hands. My heart.

  And then he came to me.

  And he held my hand.

  He was so warm.

  He was so kind.

  He told me it would be okay.

  He told me he was there for me.

  We talked about nothing.

  Meaningless things.

  But they meant the world to me.

  He meant the world to me.

  I thought we must have been connected by the red thread of fate.

  He was like the prince.

  And I was the princess.

  I always wanted to be like the princesses in those kinds of stories.

  So I knew.

  Because I loved those stories, I knew.

  This is love.

  I love you.

  That was a long time ago.

  Much has happened since then.

  He may have forgotten.

  But I have always remembered.

  I remembered his name.

  I remembered his face.

  Remembered his warmth.

  Remembered his kindness.

  How much I loved him.

  How much he loved me.

  And how that changed me.

  That’s why:

  All I want in life is to teach all of them the feelings that he taught me first.

  2 - One Ending, Another Beginning

  Onii-chan, you’re an idiot.

  Why would you do that?

  ‘It’s what’s best for everyone.’

  You don’t know that. You can’t say that.

  You don’t know what’s best for anyone.

  For the last few years of his life, he always looked sad.

  Was he that torn up about never having a girlfriend?

  Or was it something deeper than that?

  He didn’t trust me enough to tell me, so I didn’t know.

  I wish I could have done more for him.

  He thought that there was no one that loved him.

  That there was no one that could love him.

  I should have told him more often.

  Why did I stop?

  Because it was embarrassing to say I loved my big brother?

  No.

  I remember now.

  He told me to stop.

  And I listened.

  I thought it would still be true, even if I didn’t say it.

  But I was wrong.

  I never should have listened.

  He couldn’t read my mind.

  He wouldn’t know unless I told him, even if he didn’t want me to.

  But...

  It’s too late now.

  If only...

  Then I heard a voice.

  Not just with my ears—it also rang out in my mind.

  “What do you Want?”

  I knew what I wanted.

  There was only one thing I could want.

  3 - The Beginning of the Beginning of Me

  I am me.

  I love girls.

  Maybe that’s a weird way to start things off, but it’s core to my identity.

  It’s who I am.

  There’s no better place to start if you’re talking about the story of my life.

  As for my name, that was Matsuda Akio.

  Part 1 - Normal Days

  1 - Morning

  I wanted to enjoy the warmth of my bed for just a little while longer, but I could hear it approaching, the song of the terrible monster that would tear me from my peaceful slumber.

  “Waaake up, waaake up, it’s time to waaake up!”

  Based on how muffled the song was, she was probably still on the stairs, which meant that I had a few more seconds of peace.

  “Geeet up, geeet up, it’s time to geeet up!”

  The singing stopped right outside the door to my bedroom. The calm before the storm.

  “IT’S MOOOOOOOOOOOOORNING!”

  My little sister let out her usual war cry as she threw open my door and launched herself into the air like a human missile aimed directly at my bed—a cute missile, but still a deadly weapon. With reflexes honed by years of experience, I rolled out of bed and onto the floor just in time to avoid having my bones pulverized. She bounced off of my now empty bed and twisted in midair to land gracefully on her feet, her two tied-up tufts of hair bouncing along with her.

  She looked down at me from on top of my bed, beaming.

  “I love you, Onii-chan! Breakfast is ready!”

  Why can’t you just say ‘good morning’ like a normal person?

  But she won’t listen to my protests—that’s just who she is.

  With her duty finished, she leaped down from my bed and scurried out of my room on all fours.

  “Good morning to you too, Fuyuko.”

  I pushed myself up from the floor and grumbled in reply, but she had already left my room and—by the sound of it—seemed to have tumbled down the stairs, trying to go down them on all fours.

  Energetic as always, that girl...

  I thought she might chill out as she got older, but she’s in her third year of middle school and still an uncontrollable bundle of energy. She’ll be in high school next year, but I feel like personality-wise she hasn’t changed at all in the last few years.

  Not that I could tell, anyway.

  2 - Breakfast

  After using the toilet and changing into my school uniform, I headed downstairs for some breakfast. Fuyuko was already seated at the table, shoveling food into her mouth in a quite unladylike fashion. It seemed like she was unfazed by her fall earlier. I thought about telling her to be more careful, but I figured Mom had already chewed her out—it probably wouldn’t have made much of a difference anyway.

  I sat down across from her and said my thanks for the food before digging in.

  “Hey, Onii-chan, check this out. Isn’t this Mia bandage cute?”

  I looked up to see Fuyuko pointing to a bandage on her forehead. The bandage was a bright pink with the popular idol Mia’s signature on it in black, the ‘i’ dotted with a heart.

  Mia is an idol who debuted earlier this year and rocketed in popularity almost overnight. Fuyuko has been a fan of hers since day one, and not a day goes by without Fuyuko mentioning Mia, listening to one of Mia’s songs, singing one of Mia’s songs, putting her own lyrics to the tune of one of Mia’s songs, sharing some new fact she had learned about Mia, showing off a new piece of Mia merch, or watching the latest interview with Mia.

  Mia, Mia, Mia, Mia, Mia. Calling Fuyuko a fan of Mia is definitely an understatement. She’s completely obsessed.

  Luckily, I’m a fan of Mia’s music too—there’s a reason she rose in popularity so quickly—so it isn’t that bad. I can’t say it isn’t a little annoying sometimes, but it could have been a lot worse.

  Fuyuko’s previous obsession had been with stories about aliens and cryptids and other creepy stuff. One time she told me a story about aliens abducting people and replacing them with doppelgängers. They were such perfect copies that even their friends and family didn’t notice, and the aliens used them to spy on humanity. That shit freaked me out so bad I was paranoid for like a week. I’m definitely taking that anecdote with me to the grave.

  So, yeah, I’ll take the Mia obsession any day of the week.

  “Very cute.”

  I gave a half-assed reply to her question because I spent so much time thinking about other stuff.

  She immediately started talking about something else, anyway.

  “Oh yeah next year Mia’s going to be doing an anniversary tour you see and she’s going to have a show in our city so I really want to go but Mom and Dad are planning on going on an anniversary trip isn’t it funny how their anniversaries are so close it’s like she’s tied to our family by fate anyway yeah so Mom and Dad can’t take me because of that so Mom said I would have to get you to take me because I can’t go by myself even though I’m almost a high schooler now I can handle myself and I wouldn’t be going alone anyway I was going to go with Yuuko but Mom and Dad still won’t let me so basically will you go to the concert with me please please please pretty please?”

  Could you please use some punctuation?

  “I don’t see why not. It’ll probably be fun.”

  “YAY! I LOVE YOU, ONII-CHAN! DID YOU HEAR THAT MOM? ONII-CHAN SAID THAT HE WOULD TAKE ME TO THE CONCERT!”

  Fuyuko leaped up to stand in her seat and shouted towards the kitchen where Mom was preparing lunch for us to take to school.

  “I heard, I heard. But could you please be a little quieter, dear? It’s still early in the morning. If you yell that loud, you’ll bother the neighbors.”

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  “Sorry, Mom.”

  Fuyuko plopped back down into her seat, looking a little bit dejected. She shoveled some more food into her mouth before talking again.

  “Anyway, during the anniversary tour, she’s also going to be doing a special, mystery meet-and-greet raffle event; everyone who buys a ticket gets an entry! The exact details of the event are being kept hidden, as a surprise—which is why it’s a mystery—but, I’m sure it must be something great—which is why it’s special; otherwise, it wouldn’t be called that, right?!?! Aaah!!!! I hope I win! I would literally die if I were able to meet Mia backstage! Ahhhhh! Just thinking about it... Ahhhh, no wayyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  I appreciate the punctuation, but I think you may have gone a little overboard.

  3 - Phase 1

  With breakfast finished and our lunches prepared, Fuyuko and I left for school.

  While Fuyuko’s school is almost the complete opposite direction as mine from our house, she always insists that I accompany her partway, anyway. So instead of walking directly to school, I accompany Fuyuko until she meets up with her friend, and then I head to the nearby subway station.

  I like riding the subway more than walking anyway because it allows me to squeeze in a bit of reading time. At the end of the day, the arrangement isn’t too bad.

  The temperature wasn’t too cold and the sun was shining brightly in the cloudless sky, so it was quite pleasant out; however, the occasional strong gust of wind cut through my jacket and reminded me of the approaching winter. Before long, we arrived at the intersection where we would go our separate ways. Standing by a nearby telephone pole was Fuyuko’s classmate and best friend, Shiina Yuriko. She was easy to identify with her long straight black hair, and signature bangs covering her right eye.

  I don’t know if she styles her hair that way on purpose or if it’s just overgrown. I dislike getting my hair cut too, so I can relate.

  She gave a small wave when she noticed us.

  “Yuuuuuuuuuko!”

  Target locked. With a pace that would put a professional sprinter to shame, Fuyuko barreled towards her, arms spread wide open for a hug. Shiina nonchalantly sidestepped her, so she ended up sweetly embracing the telephone pole instead, her momentum causing her to spin around it a few times before she came to a stop facing away from us.

  “Good morning, Fuuko. Oh, and Matsuda-san too, I guess.”

  I accompany Fuyuko almost every day. Why does it seem like I’m just an afterthought?

  “Good morning, Shiina-san.”

  Still embracing the telephone pole, Fuyuko bent her head backwards to look at us.

  “Good morning, Yuuko. Oh yeah, I have some good news! Onii-chan agreed to go with us to Mia’s anniversary concert!”

  “Oh. I thought it was going to be just the two of us...?”

  Why do you sound so damn disappointed?

  “I tried, but my parents wouldn’t let me go with just you. But, having Onii-chan with us will be more fun anyway! The more the merrier, right?”

  “Having Matsuda-san accompany us might not be the worst thing in the world...I guess.”

  What did I do to deserve this treatment?

  I gave an exaggerated bow.

  “I’ll try not to be a burden, Shiina-san.”

  Finally letting go of the telephone pole, Fuyuko turned around to face us.

  “Hmph. Why are you two always like this? You’re my two favoritest people in the whole wide world, so I want you two to get along better! The concert won’t be any fun if you two are going to act like this. That’s why...”

  Uh-oh. I don’t like that look in her eyes.

  My fight-or-flight instincts kicked in immediately, but before I could even react, Fuyuko’s left hand had an iron grip around my wrist. Her head slowly turned towards me and she looked me dead in the eyes.

  “No. Running.”

  Scary.

  She was smiling, but you couldn’t see a trace of it in her eyes. And her voice had a terrifying edge to it. If my life were to be adapted into an anime, Fuyuko would absolutely have to be voiced by Tamura Yukari.

  Truly scary.

  She turned away from me to the prey that had been captured by her right hand.

  “Okay?”

  ““YES, MA’AM!””

  Seemingly satisfied with our response, Fuyuko returned to her usual cheerful self. Her grip remained just as strong though, so we were both still trapped.

  “That’s why it’s time to initiate Operation Buddy Buddy! By the time the concert comes around, you two are going to be the bestest of friends!”

  What kind of harebrained scheme has she cooked up?

  “First things first, you need to change how you address each other. I mean, come on Yuuko! ‘Matsuda-san’ could refer to either of us! The question is, what should you call him? Onii-chan is Onii-chan, so maybe that would be good. I don’t mind sharing Onii-chan with you, and that would make us sisters. Doesn’t that sound fun? Why don’t you try it out?”

  Shiina calling me Onii-chan, huh. I can’t even imagine it. I feel like she would probably kill me before she would ever treat me like a sibling. Are you even trying to help Fuyuko?

  “No way! Not in a million years!”

  As I expected, Shiina flatly refused. Her face was slightly flushed and she impotently flailed her arm around trying to flee.

  “Come on, just once can’t hurt! I’m sure Onii-chan would like it too.”

  Hey! You think I got a sister complex or something? ’Cause I don’t!

  “One sister is already more than enough for me, thanks. Just Akio-san should be fine, right?”

  “Ehhh? That’s kind of boring though... How about a cute nickname, like Akki? Because Onii-chan is Onii-chan, I can’t use a cute nickname like that for him, so maybe you can do that in my place. Or even better, how about we combine them both into Akki-onii-chan? Now that’s cute!”

  Shiina bowed her head.

  “I hope we can get along from now on, Akio-san.”

  “Likewise, Yuriko-san.”

  I folded instantly. I wasn’t really that opposed to changing how I addressed her, so it made the most sense to match the closeness of however she addressed me.

  “Boooo. You two are so boring. Don’t just ignore my suggestions!”

  Fuyuko released us from her grasp and gave an exaggerated sigh.

  “—Ah, well. I guess that’s the end of Phase 1.”

  I could tell by the small smile on her face that she was actually pleased with this result.

  The ‘door in the face’ technique, huh.

  My little sister is quite the cunning negotiator.

  4 - Station

  The crowd at the subway station platform was made up of a mixture of businesspeople and students—who stood out from the rest of the crowd thanks to their distinctive uniforms. Some were wearing the same uniform as me, but there were also some students wearing the uniform of the nearby all-girls school.

  I scanned the crowd, looking for a specific student that was usually there.

  Kind of stalkery, don’t you think?

  There were multiple reasons why she had caught my interest: She went to my school, she was cute, and she had a Meteor Witches keychain hanging from her schoolbag. Not just that, it was limited edition merch from when the game first launched, which meant she was a longtime fan.

  It didn’t seem like she had arrived at the station before me, though.

  I looked over my shoulder and noticed her lining up a little ways away from me.

  As usual, I thought about maybe trying to talk to her.

  We both go to the same school and we’re both into the same mobile game. It isn’t terribly unlikely that we could hit it off. But just walking up to a girl I don’t know and striking up a conversation feels weird to me. That’s the kind of thing that pickup artists do. Won’t she think I have some kind of ulterior motive? Can I say that I don’t have some kind of ulterior motive?

  Counterpoint: the Meteor Witches keychain. Hanging that kind of thing from your schoolbag is a way to display your interest to other people, right? It wouldn’t be strange to talk to someone about a shared interest, right?

  Maybe it doesn’t mean that much to her—maybe she just has it on her bag because she thinks it’s cute. I don’t know. How can I know?