He was sweet talking me, because he knew it would get under my skin. “They hate me, Jax.”

  “No they don’t. I promise.” Our hands intertwined as he leaned forward and finally made contact with my lips. “There’s nothing to hate about you, but if you want I’ll talk to them. Do you need to go to the bathroom?”

  I looked over at the toilet and shook my head, thinking he’d leave the room. “Are you going to go?”

  “Why? We sleep together every night. I know you shit, Amber. Everyone does it.”

  “I don’t,” I lied.

  “Yeah right. You go right before you take a shower, and probably as soon as I head to work in the morning.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I hate that you know me so well.”

  Jax walked over and unzipped his fly. He started filling the toilet, peeing in circles around the bowl. “See how easy it is?”

  “Oh my God, you’re hopeless.”

  He flushed and put the seat down. “Your turn. I’ll leave you alone, but only because you’re being silly. My room is the second on the left when you come out. I’ll meet you in there once I talk to my parents.”

  “You’re leaving me?”

  “I’ll bring your things in there when I’m done, baby. Relax. It’s going to be a good time.”

  Trusting that Jax would make it all better, I used the bathroom and exited to find his room. I knew it was his the moment I stepped inside. Posters of half-naked women filled his walls, and even the ceiling over his double bed. I plopped down on it and stared up at the tall topless blonde. Then I looked around the room. Every single female on his wall was blonde. It was weird seeing four of them all resembling me. On a shelf in the corner were trophies and medals. I started to get up to explore when I heard him talking in the other room.

  “I don’t care how Reese feels. I don’t want her here.”

  “Jax, she’s your brother’s girlfriend. When he gets back he’ll be upset. If you’re happy with Amber it shouldn’t be a problem.”

  “Whatever. I’m not talking to her. They can both stay the hell away from me.”

  “Jaxson Mitchell, you need to stop this. You’re the one that got them together.” His mother reiterated.

  “Look, just make sure you’re nice to Amber. She’s having a tough time because she thinks you both hate her.”

  “We don’t hate her. Why would she think that?” His mother asked.

  “Gee, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because of the shocked faces when we came in together. Look, she makes me happy. I wouldn’t be standing here if it wasn’t for her.”

  “I appreciate that she’s helped you. I’m just concerned what it means for your football career. Are you still coming home?”

  “Yeah.” It broke my heart. “I’ll probably be back in the next couple of weeks. I’m going to talk to the coach while I’m here and find out when I need to report for practice.”

  “Good. I’m glad to hear it. Jake will be happy too. It’s really been bothering him.” His father seemed to have immediately calmed down. I felt relieved for that, but broken up about having a time limit on our relationship. I couldn’t understand why Jax wouldn’t be willing to have a long distance relationship with me. Was it that hard for him to be faithful? Was sex all he cared about?

  These were the things I needed to know, because if that were the case, it would be so much easier to let him go.

  Chapter 36

  Jax

  Amber was sitting on my bed when I entered the room. I could tell she was upset with me for not warning my parents about who I was bringing. I crouched down in front of her, and ran my hand up the thigh of her shorts. It only took a second for her to catch my gaze. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine.” She put on a brave smile.

  “No, it’s not. I should have told them, warned them.”

  “Reese hates me,” she stated.

  “Who cares? She’s a lying, cheating, bitch.”

  “I care, Jax, because unlike you I don’t want this thing between us to end. Being here is only making it worse. You have a family that loves you, unconditionally. My parents are too stuck on themselves to admit I’m their last priority in life.”

  I placed my head down on her knees. She couldn’t see the hurt in my eyes while I fought back my own emotions. We were headed in two different directions. There was no way it could work between us. “Amber, I-.”

  “Save it, Jax. I get it, really I do. I’m just not built like you. I can’t bottle it all up and pretend it’s all good. I never should have let myself feel this way, when I knew I’d end up destroyed again.”

  Amber shoved me away and walked out of the room. Since she had no clue where anything was I ran after her, bypassing my parents as we both made our way outside. When I reached her she was looking around in a direction to walk. She’d probably heard me talking enough to know that one of the barns was set up for entertaining. What she couldn’t have seen coming was the part where she opened the right door to be staring at my brother and Reese having a heated argument.

  I caught up with Amber, who stood still at the cracked open door listening to the profanities that were being yelled by both individuals.

  “I told you I would’ve stayed home, Jake. He brought her on purpose.”

  “Why do you care? You still want Jax after all this time?” Jake asked.

  “No! Of course not. Don’t even say that shit.”

  “Oh, I am saying it, because one look on your face tells me everything I don’t want to fucking see.”

  “Jake, it’s not like that. I swear. You’ve got to believe me. It’s just that she’s so…I don’t know. She’s perfect and I’m just me. She looks like she was taken from a magazine. Of course he’d want her. It just makes me wonder if when she showed up with you was he fantasizing about her back then?”

  Amber turned and looked at me, as if to question Reese’s statement. I shrugged and smiled, remembering being envious at the table that night. I hadn’t taken it as far as they were suspecting, but I did think about her in the shower that night, wondering if the carpet matched the drapes. It was to my delight that she was free of carpet, smooth and mouth watering. While forming a smile on my face, Amber shoved me, snapping me back to reality.

  “What does it matter? You know how that night ended up, and what we promised to each other. It’s how all this came to be. I don’t get you, Reese. For months we’ve been happy, but Jax comes home for one visit and you’re freaking out. How am I not supposed to be offended?”

  “I don’t love Jax. You know that. I’m just pissed off because I feel like he’s only with her to get under my skin.”

  “I hate to break it to you, but I’m sure my brother’s interest in Amber has nothing to do with you.”

  I reached for Amber’s hand, just to give her a nudge that Jake was spot on. My attraction to her in the beginning was fueled from how desirable she was, not from revenge.

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because she’s his type. Amber is everything Jax has ever wanted. Trust me.”

  “So he wants a Barbie stripper?” Reese asked.

  I couldn’t stop my girlfriend from busting through the door and heading right for an unsuspecting Reese.

  “What did you just call me?”

  Reese backed up but only to gain her footing. I couldn’t reach Amber fast enough before she was able to shove Reese backwards.

  Reese stood her ground, ignoring the fact that I’d come into the room. “You take off your clothes for money. What else do you do, Amber?”

  “You bitch! I helped you that night when they threw you out like the trash. You don’t know me at all. Don’t you dare pass judgment.”

  I fastened my arms around Amber’s, restraining her from going after Reese, while Jake did the same thing with his woman. “Ladies, lets not do this today.”

  “You heard what she called me.”

  I spoke in Amber’s ear, loud enough that Reese could hear. “She’s just jealous of you, baby, because you’re flawless.”

  “Oh, give me a break, Jax. You’re being an asshole. It wasn’t that long ago when he was calling me baby. Don’t be gullible. Jax doesn’t care about anyone more than himself.” Reese said viciously.

  “Fuck you!” I replied. “Take it back, Reese.”

  “Jax, calm down.” Jake suggested.

  “No, I won’t calm down.” I let go of Amber and stood in front of her. “I won’t have this bitch bad mouth my girlfriend, and yes, Reese, Amber is my real girlfriend. While you were off fucking my brother she helped me through it. Think whatever the hell you want, but I didn’t bring her here for you. I brought her here because I hate being without her. You say I’m selfish. Go take a look in the mirror for once.”

  Jake was still holding Reese back. A wicked smiled formed on her face, and I prepared for her lashing. She looked over at Amber. “That night when you helped me, did he tell you what he did to me? Did he tell you he threw me across the room?”

  “I shoved you off of my brother’s dick, because I was in shock.”

  “He did it twice, Amber. He’s unhinged, and there’s no telling what he’ll do. I was someone he loved and he hurt me. If I were you I’d run far away from Jax, before he has a bad day and takes it out on you.”

  I didn’t look back at Amber, because I was too busy narrowing in on how I was going to hurt Reese. “Maybe you are jealous.”

  “Of you? Be serious. I’m with the right brother. You were a mistake, Jax.”

  “Oh really? Then why are you so hell-bent on hurting Amber? Admit it, Reese. You know me enough to see the truth written all over my face, don’t you? It’s not Amber you’re mad at. It’s me, because you see what was never there with us. Say it, bitch.”

  “Stop calling her a bitch, Jax,” Jake shouted.

  I threw up my hands. “Fine. Let your girlfriend go. I won’t touch her, unless she goes after my mine.”

  Reese shook out of Jake’s arms, never taking her eyes off of me. I’d honestly never seen her so angry before. It was fascinating. As I stood there looking at her I realized something I’d never noticed before. She was a beautiful woman, strong and determined, but what I thought was love couldn’t have been. Sure, I’d had strong feelings for her, but now I knew I’d been wrong to label them what I had. Nothing could compare to the feelings I had for the beautiful person standing behind me, and I wanted Reese to know it. “Her favorite color is blue. She uses only salon products in her hair, and her deodorant is clean scented. Her favorite movies to watch are comedies, and when they have a happy ending she always cries. When she sleeps, sometimes she makes these cute little sounds that wake me up. I could sit there and listen to them for hours.” As I continued on I took Amber’s hand and turned to face her. “She’s not just stunning on the outside. She’s beautiful through and through. The pain that she’s endured has only helped her to become stronger, and from the moment she walked into my life our connection was undeniable.”

  “Next you’ll say you love her, and we all know how this story goes.”

  “I do.” I glanced over at Reese. “Love her, that is.” I squeezed Amber’s hand, hoping she’d forgive me for telling her like this. “I thought I knew what it felt like with you, but I was wrong. I get why my brother couldn’t resist you, because I finally understand the infatuation of it all.”

  “Let’s just go, Jake. He’s full of shit. Being here was a mistake. Jax is going to say whatever he thinks will get to me. I’m not in the mood for his viciousness.”

  They started to walk out the door, but my brother couldn’t let it go. He stopped and turned around, almost making a sound like he was snickering. He pulled his hands away from Reese, and directed his attention to me. “We’re good now, aren’t we, Jax?”

  I didn’t know how it happened, but like a light bulb being turned on, I finally saw what I’d been unable to see before. Reese was never mine. When I looked at her now I didn’t see the person who’d ripped out my heart. I saw the reason I went to Kentucky and found Amber. Then it all made sense. This was meant to happen, because imagining never being with her was inconceivable. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

  Jake smiled and looked down while he spoke. “Good, because we need to talk about something. I’m just going to get Reese to settle down and I’ll be back. Will you be in here?”

  I nodded and watched my brother leading his girlfriend out of the barn, before turning to face Amber. It was apparent that she was freaking out, though I knew it wouldn’t take much to calm her down. Soothing her had become easy for me. “You said you loved me, Jax.”

  “Yeah, so?”

  Her eyes were full of tears, but they weren’t falling down her cheeks. “I told you not to love me, because I knew this was only temporary.”

  “And I told you it was already too late.”

  “That was the first week we were together.”

  I stepped closer, now holding both of her hands. “I’d be lying if I said those feelings weren’t already stewing.”

  “It’s just going to hurt worse now.” She looked away.

  “I’ll come and see you when I can. Football is just time consuming. I don’t want you sitting by the phone waiting and wondering. It’s not fair.”

  “I know. I get it.”

  “You could fly out to my games. We play in Ohio. I don’t know the schedule, but we could spend the weekend together at least.”

  She kept looking away. “We never should have done this, Jax. It’s tearing me apart.”

  I pulled her into a hug and held her tight against my body. “Don’t say that. I don’t want to take back a single second I spent with you. I know I’m hard to deal with, and I can be stubborn, but I’d never do what Reese said. I’d never hurt you.”

  “She’s just bitter about everything. I get it. I’d be upset too. Do you know how many girls despise me? I hate it. They assume I’m shallow or stuck up. I’m neither of those things. I helped her that night at the hotel because it’s the kind of person I am. Her words were like a sharp knife.”

  “Just ignore her. She’s probably on her period or something. Hell, she could be pregnant. I’m sure my idiot brother would be thrilled about it.” I kissed the top of her head, showing her an extra bit of affection because I knew she needed it.

  “I’ve always been a tough guy, but you break me down, Amber. Caring about you feels so right. When I come back here for good, I’m still going to call you, and want to hear your voice. I’m still going to need my best friend.”

  She pulled away and smiled at me, with soaked cheeks from getting emotional. “Are you saying you want to have a long-distance relationship with me?”

  I shrugged. “I know I don’t want to let you go.”

  “There’s a but isn’t there?”

  I hated that she already knew me so well. “I don’t like to be alone, and I wouldn’t want you to feel obligated to do the same for me. It’s not fair to either of us. I want to make a pact, that if someone else comes along, we won’t hate each other.”

  Amber turned away from me. “I’m sorry, Jax. I can’t do that.”

  Chapter 37

  Amber

  “Please don’t do this.” Jax pleaded.

  Did he really think I could cling to some kind of hope of us being together when he was basically saying he was going to be with other people? “Don’t you get it? Don’t you see what you’ve done to me?” I looked around the barn, realizing I was raising my voice for anyone to hear. “Just forget it. I can’t do this here. We’ll talk about it when we get home.”

  “Amber,” he reached for me as I started to back away. “Are you mad at me now?”

  “No, Jax. I never expected this to work out. I should have known better.”

  He placed his arms on my shoulders from behind. “Don’t do this to me, not now, after what I said to you.”

  My heart hurt thinking about those three words that meant the world to me. It had been so long since someone said them with meaning. I could tell Jax was being honest. I could feel the power of it through every inch of my body. “Our feelings are irrelevant. Don’t you get that? It doesn’t matter.”

  “It does to me,” he whispered. “Please turn around and look at me.”

  Looking Jax in the eyes wasn’t the hard part. It was knowing how desperately in love with him I was, and how I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. What good would it do? “I don’t want to argue about this. It’s obvious your family thinks we’re a joke.”

  “That’s why we’re going to prove them wrong. You see, I knew they’d act this way, but I also knew that once they saw us together there would be no denying it.” He lifted the back of his hand and ran it over my cheek. “It was never a choice for me, Amber. I think I’ve loved you since the first night we spent together, before the kisses, and everything else. You take my breath away.”

  I let my head rest on his chin. “I’m scared to fight for this, because I’m so afraid you’ll hurt me.”

  “Come with me.” He took my hand and began to lead me out of the barn. When we walked past all three houses I wondered where we were going. After stepping onto a little path in the woods, Jax explained. “I’m taking you to a place that nobody’s ever gone before. Only Jake and I know it exists.”

  Since I was wearing flip flops I looked around the leaves and brush and wondered if it was safe. “How far is it?”

  “You’ll be fine. Do you trust me?”

  I didn’t have to think about my answer. “Yes.”

  He pulled me along, pointing out things as we continued. We came to a large pond with a square platform in the middle. “That’s the hole. We can go for a swim when we come back.”

  “Are there snakes?”

  “There’s more fish. Well, there was. A couple years ago Jake and I threw a homemade bomb in the water. We were eating fish for weeks”

  “Gross, your whole family?”

  “No. Just me and my brother. It was our punishment. We had to eat fish for all three meals. I still don’t like it.”