After arguing with my cousin, and very best friend, it was nice to be able to smile at something. For the past couple of weeks I’d been talking to my ex, Tate, again. I’d tried to keep it a secret, but Noah had seen his name appear on my phone one night and hadn’t let it go since. He was determined to make sure I had no contact with him. Little did he know that I had my own plans for my visit home, which included a secret rendezvous with the man that I couldn’t fall out of love with.

  I wasn’t a fool. I knew about all of his faults. I also knew that he’d been going through hell since I’d moved to Kentucky. After months of not seeing me, he’d been begging for me to just spend some time with him. As much as I wanted to end up in his arms afterwards, I was determined to be strong. My new life was in Kentucky, and I was going to have to keep reminding myself of that.

  My next message came through right as I was getting up to finish packing. I thought it was my dad again, so I ignored it and kept placing things in my suitcase. Once I had it zippered up, and double-checked my list to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything, I peeked at my phone.

  You thinking about me, sexy? – Tate

  A rush of heat overwhelmed me. He’d been my first real love, and every time I heard from him I would get enthusiastic. Always – Bella

  I’m craving your pussy. – Tate

  Admittedly, reading that made me even hotter. Tate had been my high school boyfriend. We’d experienced so much together, good and bad. My time away had only made my love for him stronger, and it scared the shit out of me, since I’d moved to get as far from him as possible.

  Tate said he missed me. He’d been messaging more this week than the whole time I’d been gone. I had to believe that maybe moving away from him had taught him a lesson. I wanted him to know that I wasn’t going to stick around and let him walk all over me. He could either change his ways, or lose me forever. I wouldn’t allow him to cheat on me and get away with it anymore.

  I’ll see you tomorrow night. We can meet once my parents go to bed. I’ll message you as soon as I’m able to sneak away.– Bella

  So we’re sneaking around like high school? – Tate

  For now. You know why, Tate. They don’t trust you. – Bella

  I’m going to rectify that, baby doll. I promise. – Tate

  I hope so. I love you so much. I can’t wait to see you. – Bella

  Love you too. See you tomorrow. – Tate

  Sneaking around did feel a lot like high school, but it was necessary. If my dad or brothers found out that I was slipping away to see Tate, they would string him up and feed him to the pigs.

  A knock on my bedroom door startled me. I put my hand to my heart, even knowing who it was the whole time. “What do you want, Noah?”

  I glanced in my mirror as I awaited his reply. My blonde hair was up in a messy ponytail, and my green eyes had red around the white parts. I was tired, and lonely, and it was affecting my appearance.

  I walked over and opened the door seeing him standing there with his bottom lip out, as if he was pouting. “You still mad at me?”

  I looked at the door, sighed, and then peered back at him. “Maybe. It’s my life, you know?”

  “Yeah, but you’re a part of mine. Bells, I just want what’s best for you. Can’t you see that?” I could, except admitting it was only going to make him think he had an advantage over me. I couldn’t let that happen, especially when I was lying to the whole family about Tate. If Noah knew the truth he’d tell. When we were kids we would have covered for each other. Times had changed. Sure, we still had each other’s backs, but Noah hated Tate just the same as the devil himself. Knowledge of me sneaking to see him wouldn’t sit well in his eyes. He’d tell on me to prevent it, causing an uproar with my parents on purpose. I couldn’t ever let that happen, at least until I knew for sure that he’d changed his ways. “I get why you’re tryin’ to protect me. I do. Sometimes it feels like I’m not allowed to make my own choices.”

  “Bells, promise me one thing.” “What?” “Promise me that you won’t see him while you’re in North

  Carolina. I know you’ve been talking to him again, but don’t see him. You may have gotten over everything that guy’s done to you, but I haven’t. It wasn’t so long ago when I was drivin’ to save your ass, after that whole fiasco with that other chick. That girl beat the shit out of you, and he let her. I don’t care about nothin’ else. He’s a bastard, and I don’t want him near you.”

  I bit down on my lip and tried to keep a straight face, avoiding the whole fact that he’d brought up that awful experience again. In Tate’s defense, he thought I was an intruder. I’d snuck into the house knowing that it was illegal. Why couldn’t Noah see that?

  Still, I had to lie to my cousin, and he was good at reading me. I kept my face the same, remaining as calm as possible. “Fine. I won’t see him, Noah. Are you happy?”

  He lifted my chin up and forced me to look into his eyes. I stared at him, focusing on the fact that this man in front of me knew me better than I knew myself. If I could get past him, I was in the clear from anyone else.

  “Yeah. For now at least.”

  I lightly punched him in the abdomen. “Now get out of my face. You smell like cow shit.” I shrugged him off as he came at me, trying to get me to smell his nasty pits. “I’m not kiddin’. I hate it when Shalan’s out of town, because you never shower.”

  “That’s a lie. I shower once a day. When she’s home I don’t work so late, so you just notice it more. It ain’t like you haven’t smelled manure ever in your life. For Christ sakes, we both grew up around it.”

  “That doesn’t mean I have to like it, Noah.”

  He shook his head, while laughing at my comment. I knew he didn’t like it, but still had to deal with it. Part of running a ranch was dealing with animal fecal matter. That’s why I steered clear of going anywhere near it. Thankfully, my great aunt had gotten me a job in an office, because there was no way that shoveling up shit was going to work for me. I had a degree in business, and used it to my advantage.

  “You may not like it, but you’ve dealt with your fair share of shit, whether it’s the kind that stinks or not.” He left me to be alone and sit on his comment. I hated when he got the last word in edgewise. It was a ploy to somehow win every bickering battle between us. Noah was more like my brother, than my cousin. We had the same blood flowing through our veins, since his dad and my mom were first cousins. It just so happened that my dad was also his cousin on the other side of his family. Though my parents had no relation to each other, because that would be totally weird, they’d grown up spending holidays, and summers hanging out. It was bizarre, and extremely hard to explain to people. Either way you looked at it, I was Noah’s cousin, through both blood and adoption.

  Noah was right about one thing, his last words becoming an echo as they sunk in. I was tired of dealing with the bullshit. My trip home was going to tell me once and for all if Tate could be trusted. When I could make that determination I knew I’d be able to make the right decision for what might come of my future.

  My only problem was sneaking around to be able to make it happen. In less than twenty-four hours I’d be in his arms, and that was enough for me to be excited about.

  Chapter 2

  Isabella

  After being on the long highways for

  hours, I was ecstatic to pull down the dirt road to my family’s farm. Ahead of me was my grandparent’s house. I

  hadn’t seen them in months, and looked forward to being able to give them both huge hugs. My grandfather was battling with his heart, and the idea of being so far away always scared me.

  Just as I went to pull in next to my father’s pickup truck, a dirt bike came racing in, stealing the spot before I could get there. Jax, one of my younger twin brothers, took off his helmet and flipped me the finger.

  I smiled to myself. “So great to be home.”

  This was only the beginning. Between my dad, my brothers, and my uncle Conner, I was bound to be amused for my entire stay.

  He approached the car, covered in muck from head to toe. I hesitated stepping out, in fear of getting filthy. Of course, the first thing he did was drag me out and pull me into his welcoming arms. “What’s up, sis? I missed you so much,” he said in a sarcastic tone.

  I shoved him away, looking down at my now dirty attire. “Seriously, Jax. Was that necessary?”

  He slapped me on the backside when I tried to saunter past him. “You bet your ass it was.”

  “Where’s your girlfriend?” I inquired, making all attempts to get him to go away, quickly.

  “I don’t have a woman anymore. There’s way too much pussy out there for Jake to have all of the fun,” he snickered. I looked my brother up and down. Even through the filth I could see that his once scrawny body had changed. His shoulders were now broad from years of playing football and working out. By the age of thirteen they both towered over me and my mom, and somehow even though I was years older, they made me feel safe.

  Their new idea of womanizing wasn’t something I wanted to stick around and hear about though.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me. What is with you two?” My brothers were in college, still learning how to be human, obviously. I tried to avoid them like the plague, failing at every attempt, usually.

  “Nope. Last night we went out and took these sisters home. You should have been there.”

  I put up one hand to motion for him to cease, while tossing him my suitcase. “No, thank you. I’ll pass on those details.”

  He followed behind me, walking straight into the house covered in muddy clothes and boots. My mother smiled when she saw my face, only to look disgusted when she peered behind me. “What the hell, Jax? How many times do I have to tell you to change in the barn before bringin’ that mess in here? I just scrubbed the floors.”

  Jax dropped my bag and went back outside, while my mother came toward me. She lifted her arms and stretched them around my back. “Hi, honey. How was the drive?”

  “Long and boring.” Kind of like every day had been since being away from home.

  “Come in and sit down. Daddy will be out in a minute. We went into town to pick up groceries and ate at this new place. He’s been havin’ problems ever since,” she snorted.

  “Well, as much as he jokes about poop, he probably brought it on himself.”

  “Exactly.” She grabbed my bag and walked toward the bedroom hallway. “I’ll put this in your room. Everyone is comin’ for dinner tonight. We’re goin’ to eat in the barn so there’s room. Your dad installed a new floor last month. Wait until you see it. I can hardly recognize the place, except for the pool table. I tried to get him to toss it, but you know how much he likes to go out there and shoot balls around.”

  I giggled to myself as she disappeared into the hallway. It was horrible that I was so used to pranks that the mere mention of balls caused me to lose it.

  I heard the powder room door opening and saw my dad coming out. A huge grin could be seen when he spotted me across the room. Even under a face full of hair, I could see it. “Hi, Daddy.” I only called him that during endearing moments like this one, or when I wanted something.

  He walked over and hugged me tight, pulling away to look at my face. “Yeah, you still look the same.”

  I laughed and held him tight. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you more. Mom’s been cooking all day to welcome you home.” He leaned near my ear. “If it tastes like shit just pretend it’s amazing. She got this new cookbook and everything tastes the same.”

  My mom came up behind him and put her hands on her hips. “Seriously, Ty? You told me you liked dinner the other night.”

  “I did,” he cackled. “It was good. I just asked if you didn’t make it ever again.”

  My mom pushed him out of the way and wrapped her arms around me again. “It’s good to have you home. Ignore your father. When he gets the shits there’s no tellin’ what he’ll complain about.”

  “Nothin’ changes, does it?”

  My dad grabbed my mom and started rubbing his whiskers over her face. She screamed and pulled away. “Seriously, your father has decided that he wants a beard like those men on television. You know the ones that hunt? Wait until you see your uncle’s face. They are competing on who can grow it the fastest. I wake up every morning havin’ to look at that.”

  “She thinks I’m sexy,” my dad corrected.

  My mom faced me and gave me a look. I smiled knowing that she hated the beard, not that she could do anything about it. Once he and my uncle had a bet going, it wouldn’t end until someone was declared the winner. This could go on for years.

  My poor mother.

  “You look like a mammoth already, Dad. Can’t you trim it up a little?”

  He rubbed the hair and smoothed it under his chin. “This is how it’s supposed to look.”

  “It’s creepy. You look like a pedophile,” I joked.

  Dad took a magazine off the kitchen table and mumbled something as he headed back into the bathroom. “That’s it! You hurt my feelings,” he stammered before shutting the door behind him.

  “Wow.” I turned to face my mom. “I’ve been here for five minutes and am already exhausted. How do you do it?”

  She started working in the kitchen again. “When you’ve been married as long as we have you kind of learn to ignore it. Your dad means well. He is how he is, and we love him for it.”

  She was right about that. “True.” I played with a crumb on the counter. “So, what’s up with Jax and Jake? No girlfriends?”

  My mom rolled her eyes. “Let’s just say that I’m glad I have a daughter, because the two of them may never settle down. I tell ya, just as soon as we start to like a girl, they’re bringin’ home someone else. I’ve given up on it. I just call every one of them honey, so I can’t hurt their feelin’s when I mix up names.”

  We both snickered over it. I would have been devastated if someone I was seeing took me to meet their parents and they called me their ex’s name.

  “It feels good to be back, Mom. I miss bein’ home. All jokes aside, it’s wonderful to sit here in the kitchen and talk to you face to face.”

  She wiped her hands and leaned over the counter. “Is there somethin’ you want to talk to me about?” I smiled thinking about my mother’s southern drawl from growing up in Kentucky, which never seemed to fade away. Mine was the same; according to everyone I talked to, but never as strong as my mom.

  “No. My life is as borin’ as it can get.” “No new man to tell me about?” “Mom,” I gave her an annoyed sort of grin. “Seriously, you

  know the answer to that.” “Do you hear from Tate?” I placed my hands flat on the surface and faked a smile. “So

  where’s Jake?” Her eyebrow cocked right up. “Bella? Don’t tell me you’re

  talkin’ to him again. Your father will be cleanin’ his guns if he finds out.”

  “Finds out what?” I heard him coming up behind me.

  “Nothin’.” I looked from one parent to the other. “I’m not talking to Tate. I swear.” My lies were getting easier, but the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach was becoming worse.

  “You better not. That guy is a piece of work.” My dad offered me a threatening gaze.

  I peacefully folded my hands together.

  “I didn’t come here to be lectured like a child. I’m single, so you both can drop the subject now. Are you happy?”

  “We just want to see you with someone that respects you. That’s all. It has nothing to do with you, sweetheart,” he said in a reassuring way.

  “I get it.”

  “No rush, though. It’s okay if you don’t marry until you’re at least thirty seven.” He rubbed my head as if I was a kid at the ball field, who’d just struck out and needed to be cheered up.

  I shoved him away, annoyed by his teasing already. “Go away or I’m goin’ to stay with Mimi and Poppy.”

  My dad put his hands up, surrendering to my promise. I’d won the battle for now, making the conversation about me and Tate get dropped. Still, knowing how adamant they were about the whole situation made me worry about how I was going to sneak to see him. I felt like a teen again, but knew it was the only way. For some reason my parents found it necessary to worry about me more than usual. I wondered why they hated him so much, especially considering that they only knew half of what had happened when I was assaulted over a year ago. Then I started wondering if Noah’s mother, my aunt Van, had spilled the beans to my mom or dad. They spoke all of the time, and didn’t keep secrets. For all I knew it could have been my uncle Colt, Noah’s dad. At any rate, I was almost positive that they knew more than I wanted them to.

  Dinner with my family was wonderful, and with my poppy around my dad backed off on the relationship talks, and the comedy show. He and my uncle Conner talked shop, while my brothers and my cousin Josh played pool. I sat playing cards with my mom, my grandparents, and my aunt Amy. As much as I wanted to see my three female cousins, Callie, Cassie, and Cammie, I appreciated having all of the attention for once. Those three were drama queens, and at the age where everything out of their mouths was ridiculously annoying, even more than my brothers.

  Once everyone started to clear out, I pretended to be exhausted so that I could retreat to my bedroom. The sooner I got everyone to go to sleep, the faster I could sneak out and meet Tate. Realizing that they couldn’t exactly punish me if I got caught, I put on my planned outfit quietly, just waiting for all of the lights in the house to turn off. I was twenty-four years old, and worried about getting in trouble. What was wrong with me?

  Two long hours later I was climbing out of my window and running down the lane, dialing his number while getting further away from the house. Tate picked up after four rings.

  “I was wondering when you were going to call. I’ve been waiting for hours.”