“You heard me. I mean, yeah, I’m pissed you snuck behind my back, but you didn’t give me much choice. It’s not like I can make the guy leave now. He’s got responsibilities. I’m just worried that he’s keepin’ somethin’ from all of us. I’m around him every day and never once has he talked about his past. Don’t you think that’s important?”

  “I know him better than you, Noah. I can assure you that it’s not what you think. He’s a good man.” My defending Rusty was only making it difficult to stand by my idea of telling Tate. No matter what I did, I was pulled toward the idea of staying in Kentucky and letting Rusty raise my child as his own. I’d never met a more sincere man, who given up so much. He was so honorable, and I wanted to think that him stepping up was his way of saying that he wanted to commit. The only thing holding me back was the idea of never knowing if he was going to compare me to someone else. I knew it seemed petty, but I needed to be loved for who I was, because I knew if I wasn’t then my happiness wasn’t real. In a sense it would be fake. I couldn’t make a commitment with that on my conscience.

  “If he’s such good man than why ain’t he here?”

  I didn’t have a good answer for that. Clearly he’d gotten upset earlier at breakfast. He’d stayed away from me all day. It didn’t help that I’d pretty much told him we were nothing to each other right before that. “I’m sure he’s tryin’ to keep the peace for your benefit.”

  “My beef with Rusty wouldn’t have ruined this party. I’m gettin’ hitched to the most beautiful woman, my family is here, and my cousin is havin’ a kid. We’ve got plenty of reasons to put our differences aside, don’t you think?”

  While Noah waited for my response, I thought about how hurt he must have been finding out that I’d lived in the same house with him and not been able to confide my secret. We were supposed to be best friends, yet I’d hid something so important. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

  “I get it. It hurts, but I get it. Hell, I threatened your boyfriend so many times that I’m surprised you two didn’t run off together. It’s obvious he cares about you, or else he would have given up a long time ago. I’m just glad this baby isn’t Tate’s. I fuckin’ hate that bastard. I wouldn’t be sittin’ here with you right now if he’d knocked you up. When you first made the announcement yesterday it’s all I could think about. I was doin’ the math in my head, trying to figure out when you were in North Carolina. Then Rusty stood up and put my mind at ease. Anyone is better than your ex.”

  I felt sick to my stomach. Hearing Noah saying that put new perspective on my rationalizing to tell Tate the truth. I couldn’t lose Noah, and that’s exactly what would happen if the truth came out. I stood up, causing alarm to my cousin’s eyes. “I need to go.”

  “Where?” “I need to see Rusty. He should be here with all of us.” He started to chuckle. “So you’re finally goin’ to admit that

  you’re a couple?” I shrugged. “Yeah, I think I am.” Since the family was so big, it was easy to sneak away

  without being noticed. I didn’t know what I would say to him, and there was no excuse for my actions. I’d been a jerk to him so many times that I was having trouble counting. I was done fighting, and after I picked up my pace, I found myself almost running in the direction of his house. By the time I’d made it there I saw my brother walking out. What alarmed me was the way he looked at me as he approached.

  “What are you doin’ here?” “I needed to talk to your boyfriend.” “About what?” I think I would have been okay if he’d

  threatened to hurt him if he hurt me, but something told me that wasn’t the reason.

  “I think you know what, sis.” “Please, Jax. Don’t do this.” “Do what?” He took my chin and pulled it to look him in

  the eyes. “Tell everyone our secret?” I couldn’t fight the burning in my throat or the stream of

  tears pouring out of my eyes. “I don’t have a secret,” I lied. “Yeah, maybe if you keep telling yourself that you’ll start to believe it. You forget who picked you up that night, Bella. I did the math, and even though I know that guy in there cares for

  you, we both know he ain’t the father.” I pulled away from his touch, refusing to look at him for

  another second. It wasn’t the fact that Jax had figured out my secret. It was that he’d talked to Rusty about it. It was also the fact that he’d forever hold that secret over my head. I’d feel guilty every time I held my baby and knew that I was lying to him or her. More than ever I wished I could talk to my dad about it. I wanted to know how he felt when he’d decided that he’d be my only father. I needed his advice, yet knew I couldn’t ask for it. “Please, Jax. Don’t tell anyone.”

  “I’m not going to. Just be sure you can live with yourself. It’s one thing to not tell Tate, but one day that kid’s going to find out the truth. What do you think that will do to Rusty? You can’t let him fall in love with your kid if you’re still thinking about running back to Tate. Have you even considered what this will do to Dad?”

  Hearing Tate’s name made my skin crawl. It was like he was demon I was trying to avoid. “Yes, I’ve thought about Dad. This is so messed up. What am I supposed to do? I didn’t ask Rusty to take responsibility.”

  “You’re not telling anyone the truth. He can only protect you for so long. I just don’t want to see my niece or nephew resenting their parents because of a huge lie. Don’t you remember what you and Dad went through?”

  “Of course I remember. How could you even ask me that?”

  “I just think you should have thought about all of this before letting that man make sacrifices for you.”

  I pointed at my brother. “Don’t you dare play the perfect card with me, Jax. You’ve got no room to judge my actions.”

  He threw his arms in the air. “Whoa. Nobody said I was perfect. I’m just trying to look out for my sister. I don’t want you getting hurt, Bella. Can’t you see what this kind of secret could do?”

  “Yes,” I wiped more tears away. “I know what I’m riskin’.”

  He leaned over and kissed the top of my head. “You’re my sister, my blood, and I love you. I know you regret that night, and I just don’t want it to haunt you for the rest of your life.”

  I watched my brother walk away, while I tried my hardest to calm down. As much as I thought I’d made my mind up, I

  knew I was more confused than ever. Most importantly, I needed to know if Rusty would still want to help me if my family learned the truth.

  I headed up the steps to his house prepared to find out.

  Chapter 27

  Rusty

  This was the third time someone had knocked on my door, and I was starting to get annoyed. My issues with

  Isabella weren’t anyone’s business. Besides, she’d pretty much made it obvious that I was just some fuck buddy to her. It was more clear than ever after my talk with her brother.

  I opened the door with a pissed off frown. My eyes adjusted, and I blinked twice to make sure that it was really her standing in front of me. Her makeup was running down her cheeks, and she was steadily sobbing. I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her inside, then pulled her to my chest to comfort her. “What’s happened?”

  “Don’t make me talk about it. Please, Rusty. Just hold me.” There was no place else I wanted to be. Unlike her last visit, I didn’t carry Isabella back to my room

  to make love. This time I picked her up and held her on the couch. She cried for along time, and then finally explained what had her so worked up.

  I wasn’t trying to be insensitive. It was obvious she was struggling with what she wanted to do. The fact that she’d come to me again only validated that she trusted me. I appreciated that, but at the same time also knew she didn’t really have anyone else.

  “Either way I go, someone gets hurt. Jax is right, Rusty. I’ve got to figure this out.”

  “You need to stop thinking about everyone else. They’ll get over whatever has to happen. This decision is yours. If you want me I’m here, but if you want to be with your ex, than I think I deserve to know, because right now I kind of feel like there’s things you aren’t telling me.”

  “I just explained everything.”

  I shook my head and looked away from her. “Did you try to contact your ex-boyfriend? When your brothers told you about his accident did you attempt to call him?”

  She looked down and sighed, appearing as if I’d caught her in a lie. I think before she answered I knew the truth. “Yes, I called him.”

  “Does he know?” I could feel the burn of tears accumulating in my eyes, but refused to let them fall in front of her. If she was going to choose him, than this had to end. I wouldn’t be her consolation prize until her ex could come back in her life. If she thought she could come running to me to fix that problem she was very wrong.

  “No. He doesn’t know. He hung up on me. The guy hates me for ruinin’ his life. I’m the last person he wants to talk to.”

  “So you were planning on telling him?” She refused to look me in the eyes. When she didn’t answer, I yelled, “ANSWER ME. Were

  you going to tell him about the baby?” “Yes.” She started sobbing again, but this time I couldn’t be

  her comfort. I was so distraught; so betrayed. Even though I didn’t have any kind of hold over her, I wanted to believe that she was mine; that she wouldn’t betray me after I’d stepped up and offered to help raise her child. Didn’t she understand that I wanted to be with her? Did she not know how much being a father meant to me? This wasn’t about my deceased wife, or even the child that I lost. This was about the life that I wanted us to have together. It was about being in love with her.

  A few seconds is all it took for her to reached out for me. I pulled away and walked into the kitchen. Though I could see her, I knew I needed to be in another room. She sobbed more, while I stood there watching her, suffering from my own heartbreak. This wasn’t how I saw things going.

  Isabella didn’t want me to be that baby’s father. She’d tried to tell me several times, but I kept pushing to be a part of her life. Her family would be leaving in a day, and at some point they’d find out that I was covering for her. I knew it wasn’t my problem, but it didn’t make it easier to take.

  The fragile woman that I was crazy about was sitting on my couch crying, and I couldn’t bring myself to be near her. I grabbed my shoes and started putting them on. “What are you doin’?”

  “I’m walking you back to the party so you can be with your family.”

  “I came here to be with you, Rusty.”

  “For what? Did you want to play head games with me again? Did you want me to take you in my room and fuck you so you could forget about him? I’m not your damn punching bag, Isabella. This hurts too much.”

  “So you want me to leave?” Her question was obvious, so I guess she needed to hear me say the words.

  “Yes. I need you to leave.”

  She went running out the door. I finished tying my shoes and ran after her. It wasn’t hard to catch up, and to be honest I don’t think she could run full speed if she wanted to. While stopped at a tree I caught up to her and stood there waiting for her to breathe normally. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Rusty. I swear I didn’t mean it. None of this is about some hope of gettin’ back with Tate. You have to believe me.”

  “Save it. The damage is done. Besides, this whole time you’ve been telling me that we couldn’t be together. It’s my fault for hanging on for so long. I get it. I’m older, with more baggage than anyone has to carry. You’re young and beautiful, with your whole life ahead of you. I don’t blame you for wanting more for yourself, but I can’t say I’m okay with losing hope that one day we could be something more.” I reached over and she let me touch her face. Her body began shaking when her arms wrapped around my back. I held her close to me as she bawled. It was practically impossible for me to be able to have her so close and picture watching her walking away. “This is killing me, Iz. Don’t you know how much I want to be with you and this baby? Haven’t I proven that?”

  She lifted her head and nodded. “I want to be with you, too. That’s what I came to tell you. It’s not about Tate, or my family. I know you’re the right choice. I just didn’t want to string you along while I was tryin’ to figure it all out.”

  I moved her hair off of her shoulders and kissed her forehead. “I don’t care if we fight, as long as it’s my bed you’re sleeping in at night. Being without you is pure hell. I don’t care what I’ve got to do to prove it. Just say you’ll give me a chance. Say you’re not running back to that guy. Please.”

  We were standing in the middle of the woods. The noises of the bugs kept it from being silent around us. In the distance the music still played, letting me know that nobody at the party would be able to hear us arguing. “How do I know you want me, and not just a reminder of the family you lost?”

  “You’re going to have to trust me, Iz. For now, all I can assure is that I’m not going anywhere. If you want me, I’m all in. I may have first been attracted to you because of my family, but the moment I met you that all changed. You don’t remind me of what I lost, you show me what I have to look forward to. Can’t you see that? Can’t you understand that when I look at you I see my future?”

  She put her hand up to her face and took a step back, as if she was in disbelief. I didn’t know if I should keep talking or give her a minute to take it all in. I knew how stressful this all was on her. She was dealing with so much all at once. The anxiety was overwhelming even for me. “I wish you and everyone else could understand how difficult this is for me.” I watched her face curl up as another bout of sobs came.

  “I may not be able to feel exactly what you’re feeling, but I certainly know what it’s like to be completely lost. Let me be there for you. Who knows where this road’s going to go, but we take the ride together. I may not have much to offer you right now, but I’ll do whatever it takes.”

  “I can’t ask you to make that kind of commitment. It’s not fair. We’ve got a lot to learn about each other.”

  She had a point. “Fine. Let’s give it a go. If you decide that I’m not what you want than you can kick me to the curb.” I ran my hands up her arms and pulled her close to me again. “But if you fall hopelessly in love with me I promise I’ll be there waiting.”

  “I just don’t want to hurt you, Rusty. You’re a good man. You don’t deserve to have some kind of built in family. I know you’re tryin’ to help me out and be kind, but it’s not fair if I let you make this kind of commitment without promises.”

  I leaned in and kiss her slowly, playing her tongue against mine. Her lips trembled against mine, and I could feel her wet tears rubbing on my cheeks. Our emotional embrace signified what we both wanted. I knew it was going to be difficult, and we’d probably have more hard times ahead, but she needed me and I was going to be there.

  When we both pulled away she stood there staring at me, with only the light of the moon giving us something to go on. “You’re not goin’ to give up, are you?”

  I moved my head from side to side. “Nope.”

  “We have a sonogram next week. My mom’s goin’ to drive back to go with us. It’s the one where we find out what I’m havin’.”

  “What we’re having, you mean?”

  She looked at me with shocked eyes and nodded. “Yes. If that’s what you want.”

  “It is.” “Okay. We’ll do it together.” “What about the ex, Iz? If we’re doing this together, I’ve got

  to ask about him.” “I told you already. He hung up on me.” “Are you going to call him back?” I had to ask, because it

  would break me if I wasn’t in the loop. I either had to be all in, or I was going to have to walk away. I was never a jealous man, but that is something I couldn’t compete with.

  “No. I promise you. I’m not goin’ to call him back. I’m ready, Rusty. I’m ready to admit that there’s somethin’ real between us. If that’s really what you want.”

  I kissed her lightly again. “You know it is. How many ways do I have to make that clear?”

  “Then it’s settled. No more secrets. As far as the family is concerned that baby is and always has been mine.”

  “What about my brothers?” She had a point, but I knew they weren’t a problem. After all, they obviously wanted her to be taken care of.

  “They won’t be a problem. I can assure you that they want what’s best for you.”

  “Then I just have one more question for you.” Her lips trailed over mine. As I ran my tongue over my own, I could taste the salty remnants of her tears. “Can I stay with you tonight?”

  I held out one hand and waited for her to grab it. When she did I started walking us back to my place. Her family was too busy celebrating to notice what was going on with us. “I might not ever let you go.”

  Chapter 28

  Isabella

  After all of the stressing, things were finally settling for me. I had a child to think about, and their life was more important than anything else. As reluctant as my parents were about Rusty, they promised to give him a chance.

  That’s why waking up late for a Sunday breakfast was so alarming. I sat straight up in Rusty’s bed and looked around the room. I could tell from how bright the sun was that it was past the time we were supposed to be at my great-aunt’s house for Sunday pancakes. It was a tradition that has been going on since before I was born. When the family visited there was always Sunday breakfast.

  I kicked off the covers, noticing the naked body lying next to me. He was so handsome, and seemed peaceful. Instead of alarming him, I rolled over and ran my fingers through the tiny patch of hair on his chest. He found my hand and opened his eyes. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, but we’re late for breakfast.”

  “Oh shit.” He rolled off the bed and started rustling around for his clothes. “How late are we?”

  I located my phone and checked the time. “Forty minutes.”