“I’ll never forgive you for this,” he assured me. “You slept with the woman that I’m in love with. Who does that kind of sick shit?”

  I never took my eyes off my brother, and I wasn’t scared of how he’d react. It was time he knew why I’d done it. “I love her too. God, I love her so much I couldn’t hide it anymore. Believe me, I tried. For months I’ve pushed her away and treated her like shit. I kept my distance when you two were together, because I couldn’t stand being around when you were so happy. You were the one who always wanted me around.”

  “What?” Jax shook his head. “No. That’s bullshit.”

  “It’s not. Think about it Jax. I know you’re pissed and hurt, but think about it. You heard me treat her bad. I did that for you. I did it for us.”

  “Well we can all see how it turned out.” He pulled out of our uncle’s hold, but didn’t get up.

  My father looked down at me, I presume to make sure I wasn’t going to run over and attack him if he let me go.

  “Nothing happened between us, not until the cabin. That’s the damn truth. You can believe what you want. Even then I fought it.”

  “So, you’re saying MY girlfriend came onto you? I know you’re lying.”

  I hated the fact that I had to talk about this with, not only my parents, but an audience of family and teammates at the door. “She didn’t. I never said that. All she did was try to figure me out. She thought that since we were stuck in the cabin that it was a good time to make amends. We started drinking, and after a while it slipped. I couldn’t be that close to her, to see her feelings hurt, because I couldn’t stand being in the same room. It was innocent, Jax. You’ve got to believe me. There wasn’t a second during that time where I didn’t think of you.”

  “Leave us alone,” was all he said. He looked up at our parents. “Seriously. Leave us.”

  “That’s not going to happen. Look around, Jax. You two did this.”

  “I won’t touch him. Jake, tell them you’re cool.”

  I nodded. It was hard to explain how in sync we were, still after this traumatic event. It was as if we shared the same mind, but used different parts. “It’s fine. Just give us a few minutes.”

  Jax waited until the room was empty, leaving only the two of us. He got up from the seat, but didn’t come my way. Instead he paced around in a small circle. “Let me get this straight. Up until last week you never once touched or talked to my girlfriend inappropriately?”

  “Yes. That’s true.”

  He was thinking about the events that had occurred leading to this. “You thought she was pregnant, but after the cabin she wasn’t herself. Jax, I’m telling you the truth. I never meant for this to happen. I told her to forget about it. I pushed her away. All I cared about was you, bro.”

  “Don’t call me that,” he whispered as he turned around to face me. “You don’t deserve that title.”

  I looked down. “I get it. I’d be pissed too.”

  “This obviously isn’t one-sided. How’d you do it? How’d you get her to want you instead of me? How did you convince Reese to let her guard down?” His chin was quivering as he finished his question.

  “I don’t know. We talked at first. That’s it. She went upstairs to bed, and I stayed on the couch to keep the fire going. I swear nothing happened at first.”

  Tears were falling down my brother’s cheeks. “So when did you fuck her?”

  “It doesn’t matter. I did it, and I can’t take it back.”

  “It matters to me. Where did you do it? Where did you fuck my girlfriend for the first time?” He was demanding an answer. I’d rather have my eyes gouged out than to look over and see him hurting.

  “Jax, Please don’t do this, man. Just let it go so we can get past it.”

  “Get past it? Are you for real?” He laughed, out of shock, not happiness. “I want a fucking answer. Where did you fuck my girlfriend?”

  “On the fur rug, in front of the fire.” I couldn’t take my eyes off of him when I responded. “Jax, she made me feel things I didn’t know were possible. She took my breath away, and I couldn’t stop myself. You’ve been with her. You know what I’m talking about.”

  He nodded, but seemed conflicted. “Yeah. I do.”

  “Our whole lives we’ve shared everything. The moment I fell in love with her I knew I couldn’t have her. I knew if I made a move I’d lose my best friend; the one person I share every part of my life with. I love Reese, Jax. We both do. I don’t know how something like that can be repaired, but I do know I can’t live without you. I’ve spent every day of my life with you, man.”

  He sat down on the mattress and rubbed his hands over his face. “I can’t believe that bitch came between us. Damn, I thought she was the one. I really did.”

  I got up and moved toward him. I wasn’t afraid to sit next to my brother. We’d been raised a certain way, and our word was important to stand by. With our parents right outside of the door we knew we had to keep the peace.

  Like when we were little kids and our precious dog died, I put my arm over Jax’s shoulder. “Please forgive me, brother. I’m so sorry.”

  Jax didn’t answer, but he didn’t push me away either. For a few minutes we sat there together in silence. I couldn’t expect him to forgive me. I’d committed the worst of sins. All I could hope was that with time we’d get through it.

  “I only see one way to resolve this, Jake.”

  “What is it? I’ll do whatever it takes, man. I’ll make this right.”

  “I want Reese out of our lives. That bitch needs to go. Cut her off completely and we’ll figure out how to get past this fucked up situation.”

  I just sat there, unable to reply. How was I supposed to choose? Could I tell Jax that I’d end things with Reese without regret? Could I sneak around with Reese and risk losing my brother? There was no way out of it. My only option was to be honest, because lies had been the culprit of getting us to this point. “Jax, you’re my brother. We share DNA. I’d lay down my life and die for you, but I’m sorry. If I said I’d stay away from her I’d be lying. I can’t let her go, not after what I’ve sacrificed to be with her.”

  Jax stood up, and without turning around, he told me what my decision would mean for us. “We’re done here, Jake. When we get home make sure you pack your shit and get out of my room. I’ll be professional on the field, but not even blood can help forgive you for this.”

  He began to walk toward the door. I got up and ran after him. “Jax, wait. Please. You don’t mean that. We’re partners.”

  He spun around quickly and got right up in my face. “We’re nothing, not anymore.”

  Then he walked out the door, leaving me to assess all of the damage that surrounded my life. The dagger had been shoved into my heart, and I couldn’t begin to pull it out. I didn’t even know if I wanted to. My love for my brother had been tainted. While he ached, I ached too. When he felt alone, so did I.

  With the drama over, the hallway cleared out. My dad called the front desk and let them know I’d slipped after my shower and put a hole in the wall from falling. I didn’t know why, but they believed his story, so I wouldn’t be held responsible for Jax’s fist. Since I was at fault, my parents went to be with Jax, who clearly needed them more than I did. With all the commotion I hadn’t even considered that Reese was out there somewhere probably going crazy. I tried to call her, but there was no answer. A little while later, my aunt knocked on the door. I thought it was Reese returning and rushed to the door, only to be disappointed.

  Aunt Van walked into the room and looked around. “Your uncle thought maybe I should check on you, Jake.” She grabbed my chin and started looking at my face. I hadn’t even thought about my injuries. “You’re going to have a heck of a shiner.” She went into the bathroom, only to come back out with a wet washcloth. I sat on the bed quietly while she cleaned off my face, much like when I was injured as a small boy. “I heard about the fiasco.”

  “Yeah. I screwed up.”

  She sat down next to me and dropped the rag. “Jake, we can’t help who we fall in love with. It doesn’t work that way. We can’t make ourselves feel things that aren’t there either. I’ve been where you are. I’ve been Reese.”

  “Dad said something about that.”

  “He relates more to your brother. Our situation was different, of course. Your dad and I were together for years. He was my everything. At first, I worshipped the ground he walked on. Neither one of us understood the meaning of real love. We didn’t share the same goals, or even have similar interests. We were just a couple. We hung out. We slept together, and we discussed a future, with no regard for what being an adult entailed. After his accident, when he was in the hospital, it changed me. I wasn’t the same girl that was willing to sit back and live my life for someone else. I had my own dreams. Then your uncle came into town. We tried to fight our feelings. Colt would have done anything for Ty, he really would have, in fact, he still would. He just couldn’t seem to stay away from me, and I from him. I’ve never wanted someone like I longed to be with him. I still feel that way to this day. I knew from our first kiss that he was it for me. Nothing, not even your father could keep our love from growing.”

  I looked over at my innocent aunt. She’d always been someone that people didn’t want to disappoint. Family was her reason for living, and through the years I’d grown to respect how them and my parents were so close. “How did my dad get past it?”

  She sighed. “We didn’t make it easy, that’s for sure. After he caught us in his father’s truck one night all hell broke loose. Colt went back to Kentucky, and then I followed. It took your dad a while to accept what he couldn’t change. I still loved him, just not like he expected me to. I wanted to be his friend, ironically I became his cousin.”

  “And his best friend,” I added.

  “Yeah, that’s right. Your dad and I have a very special bond. We love each other without regret. We’re family.”

  “Jax won’t forgive me. He’s like my dad, but worse.”

  “Jake, your mom is what healed your dad. When she came into his life, he changed. Your sister changed him. My love broke him to pieces, but their love put him back together.”

  I sulked. “Jax doesn’t have someone to be with. At this point I don’t even see how I do. He says that if I’m going to be with Reese our relationship is over. My brother’s breaking up with me. Do you believe this shit?”

  She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “You boys remind me so much of your dad. I hate to see you struggling. It’s like a Mitchell rite of passage. All of the men go through some type of traumatic event in order to become the men they were always meant to be. Things will get better, Jake. It might not be tomorrow, or next month, but it will happen. Our family has good roots. We know we’re never alone, even in the worst of times.”

  “Thanks, Aunt Van.”

  “You should get cleaned up and make sure you’re not injured anywhere else. Try to get some sleep. It’s getting late.”

  I got up to walk my aunt out and saw my dad standing outside waiting for her to finish. They hugged each other and then he came in the room with me. “I’m fine, dad.”

  “I didn’t ask.” He plopped down on the bed and readjusted a pillow. “Get cleaned up, son. You need to go to sleep and I’m not paying for anymore bloodied sheets.”

  “Are you my babysitter?” I didn’t mean it to be sarcastic, even though it came out that way.

  “It’s obvious that you need supervision, if not from your brother, from yourself.”

  “Is Jax okay?”

  “Your mom’s with him. She’s afraid to leave him alone, with his temper and all.”

  I nodded and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. My reflection was disturbing. Never in a million years could I imagine the damage that Jax had done to my face. He’d definitely gotten a few more punches in than me.

  Since I knew there was nothing I could do, I climbed in the shower. The beads of hot water burned every cut and scrape. I cringed while washing my face, and climbed out feeling worse than before.

  My dad was staring at the ceiling when I made my way to the other bed. “Jax fucked me up.”

  “Yeah, he did. Do you blame him?”

  “No,” I pulled down the bedding to climb in, and thought about Reese. My heart ached to know if she was okay. With my babysitter, I couldn’t begin to seek her out. “I deserved it.”

  “I sent Reese home, Jake. She can’t be here with the two of you. It’s like putting fuel on a fire.”

  He was right. Reese was our common denominator. She was the reason for all of this, even if it wasn’t all her fault. “Dad, I’m going to play my game tomorrow. I’ll do my best to make you proud, but I’m not going to stop loving her. I’d go through hell and back again to be with her. If you can’t understand that -.”

  “I get it, kid. I know you tried to do the right thing. Your mom and I were proud of you for being strong. Sometimes love wins out even when we fight it. You did your best, Jake. Now we just need to pray that Jax can heal from it.”

  I sat up in my bed and looked toward my dad. “You did. Aunt Van told me.”

  My dad looked over at me and shook his head. “Of course she did. That sneaky little woman.”

  “She meant well.”

  “That’s the problem with your Aunt Van. She’s never wanted to hurt a soul. She believes there’s good in everyone. I have to admit, though, she’s right. I did heal, or I’d like to say I woke up. I realized that what I was holding onto wasn’t even what I wanted in the first place. When I hooked up with your mother she rocked my world. Man, she was a freaky nympho.” While he reminisced, I felt uncomfortable.

  “Dad, please. No details.”

  “Sorry. Anyway, I knew she was the one. She’s my life and I thank God every single day for her, and you kids. That’s the truth.”

  “I love my brother, Dad. I never meant for this to happen. I got carried away. I couldn’t help myself. I had to have her. I still want her.”

  “Promise me that you’ll get through tomorrow’s game before you do anything else crazy. I can’t deal with anymore drama tonight. I’m getting too old for this shit.”

  “You have my word.”

  My dad clapped his hands in the air. “Stupid hotels.” I watched him roll out of bed to be able to turn off the light.

  The room got quiet.

  “I’m scared,” I said softly. “Can I come sleep with you?”

  “If you come anywhere near this bed I will whip your ass, Jake. Go to sleep. Tomorrow is another day.”

  Chapter 31

  Reese

  I was too distraught to move when it all started happening. If it hadn’t been for Amber I don’t think I would have made it back to my room. The screaming coming from where the twins were still rung in my ears, even after I’d put on fresh clothes and washed the blood off my hands.

  Since I knew I couldn’t face any of them, Amber offered to let me stay in her room. I think in some ways she regretted letting Jax have her spare key, though I’m sure he gave her no choice. Even though Jax wasn’t in our room, I looked back inside to remember our last moments together. He’d never talk to me again. As much as it hurt, I had to accept it. I deserved this fate, especially after being caught.

  While everyone was busy tending to the boys, Amber tried to sneak me to her room. I was a mess, crying and barely able to keep on my feet. The moment she put the key card in the door I saw their dad. I’d never felt like someone hated me so much as he approached. “You did this. This is all your fault.”

  I couldn’t respond. I was utterly petrified of this man, and what he was going to say to me.

  “Trash like you doesn’t deserve either one of my sons. Get the hell out of here, and make sure you stay away from them when they get back. I won’t let someone like you tear them apart.”

  Amber pulled me inside the room, but only so she could gather her things. Within a few minutes we were checking in to the hotel across the street. The new room was quiet, and as I sat down on the bed it all hit me at once.

  I hadn’t just broken Jax’s heart. I’d shattered his soul. I’d taken the one constant in his life and ripped it away from him. Nothing could explain the amount of regret I had when it came to seeing the look on his face when he walked into that room. My God, his face turned pallid, and his eyes, those beautiful light-brown eyes stared in shock as he witnessed my sins.

  The bile rose to my throat while I considered being in his position. What was it like to see everything you cared about swiftly taken from you? How would he ever be able to look at Jake the same again? How could either of us live with what we’d done?

  I think that’s the moment that I knew it was all over, even my struggling relationship with Jake. All the promises we’d made tonight were in vein. We never had a chance in all honesty. Jake had been right to push me away from the beginning. He saw what I was unable to accept. He knew the risk, but I’d persuaded him to take it anyway.

  I felt like I’d gone into their home, turned on the gas and lit a match. I hadn’t done enough to protect them.

  What hurt the most was knowing how much both of them meant to me. I understood where their dad was coming from, but he couldn’t be more wrong about my feelings for his sons. Though twisted, I cared deeply for both of them. Jax was a good guy. He treated me nice, and tried his hardest to be true. My feelings for Jake came out of nowhere. I suppose they’d always been stewing. In the back of my mind I know now that I’d always thought he was better for me. When he revealed his feelings everything I’d ever felt for Jax changed. He opened my eyes and helped me see that I wasn’t as happy as I could have been.

  Had it been two guys that didn’t know each other this wouldn’t be happening. I wouldn’t be blamed for destroying lives. I’d be called a whore, and move on with the man I loved. It was selfish to picture, but very true. The only reason the result of this was so tragic was that they were related.

  Amber did her best to try to calm me down. She got us some water and helped me clean up my elbows where I’d been shoved down and skinned them. My tears wouldn’t stop falling, and I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted them to. I needed to be punished. I deserved every single dirty look, bad name, and terrible fate that the Mitchell family was wishing on me.