I could feel his breath on my face, as well as the lingering smell of the whiskey he’d been drinking all night. This was it. I could tell him to leave like the old Christian would have done, or I could take a leap of faith and let my new found freedom guide the way to happiness.

  It was no secret that I was attracted to this guy, and with the amount of alcohol we’d both consumed it would be easy to let go. The truth was I wanted this to happen. There was some necessary desperation to feel accepted by not only this guy that I barely knew, but the people in the next room. I needed to fit in, and if I could do that and receive some much needed satisfaction I was up for the challenge.

  It was time for the new me to shine. “I’m not going to ask you to leave, Seth.” Our eyes met, and I could see the excitement shining across his face. “In fact, I’m thinking that I’d like you to stay.”

  Our lips connected, lightly brushing together. I could taste the liquor on his tongue as it coursed over mine. His gruff whiskers tickled my face while our kissing intensified. Large hands cupped my ass, lifting me onto my soft mattress. I pulled away to back up so that he had room to join me. I didn’t have to ask. Seth leaned forward bringing one knee up before the other. I could feel his weight on the bed as our mouths connected again. Immediately he brought one hand up and cupped my breast. My normal instinct would have been to push him away, but I refused to be that person. I couldn’t be that innocent little girl that my parents expected me to always be. Independence was something I strived for; something I needed to find on my own.

  That same hand pushed the fabric of my shirt up to reveal my naked abdomen. The cool air in the room was apparent, even though parts of my body were numb. His warm touch sent chills all through me. As one hand traveled up and underneath my underwire, I lifted my knee to feel his eagerness, becoming turned on more. He took my hand and guided it over his groin. “Is that what you want to feel, baby?”

  Him calling me that sent me into a frenzy. Ethan and I had experimented with many things, and he liked to call me babe on occasion. Somehow it always made me feel like I was his, in a teenage-girl kind of way. Even though this was just casual sex, it felt different for me, which in turn was quite exciting. I wasted no time reaching my hand down his pants and feeling the smooth skin of his erection. Despite it being squished in between fabric I could tell his girth was impressive. My kisses became more aggressive when he began grinding himself into me. “You want it now, don’t you?”

  I closed my eyes to try and rationalize with myself on the answer. The right thing to do was kick him out and forget all about it happening, but I didn’t want to be a good girl. I wanted to feel like Amber did when she got up on that stage. I wanted to be in control for the first time in my life, instead of the girl that hid behind the books.

  I shoved Seth off of me and stood on the mattress. He leaned up on his elbows as I began swaying to music that didn’t even exist. There was no real rhythm involved. I was far too drunk to attempt to be graceful. Through the madness I grabbed the edge of my t-shirt and slowly lifted it over my head. My midriff beckoned to be touched, so I looked down as my fingers trailed the skin beneath my navel. Seth licked his lips as he observed the show catered for his amusement. He didn’t scrutinize as I wriggled out of my pants, letting them drop to my ankles. “Is this what you wanted to see tonight?” I asked as I flipped around shaking my ass while playing with the elastic on my thong.

  His warm hands grasped my calves and started rubbing the skin on my legs. Thankful that I’d shaved, I removed my bra and tossed it across the room. When I finally turned around to face Seth I was completely naked, covering my breasts with my own palms. “Show me,” he said as he stared at my chest. I froze in place, knowing that only a small thong kept me from being without clothes in front of this man that I’d just met. My fingers inched away from my nipples, revealing the brown circles in the center of each breast. “I want to taste you.”

  He may as well have put his mouth up to my pussy already, because that’s how hot I got when I heard him saying it. I dropped to my knees, allowing him to remove my panties himself. In no time at all he’d pulled me on top of his face, immediately going to work with his tongue. I threw my head back and let the tantalizing sensations devour every part of me. His skilled tongue flicked over my clit, causing me to shiver and cry out words that made no sense at all. The harder he did it, the more difficult it was for me to hold still. I was convulsing over his face, and he seemed to be getting off on it.

  When Seth knew he’d taken me to new heights, he pushed me to the side. There was no need for him to ask me to participate. I was already longing to touch him and discover what else he could do to my body. The comfort of the alcohol was allowing me to feel relaxed; to not worry about what he might be thinking, or if I was bad at something. All I wanted was to keep going, even if that was hard to admit to myself.

  After unzipping his pants, and pulling out his thick cock, I took him into my hand. His fingers played in my messed up hair as I jerked him off. His girth made me wonder about oral sex, and if my lips could even fit around it. The good thing was that I wasn’t about to find out. That was something I’d never done before. Using my saliva as a lubricant, I let my palm give him pleasure, while moving at a steady pace. Being that he was pretty drunk, I knew I was safe from having him ejaculate all over the place. I was being careless, but I couldn’t stop.

  Seth pulled my hair, forcing me to back up. “I need to stop before I do something I’ll regret. I’ll be right back.”

  Honestly, from the moment he walked out of the bedroom, I felt like it was over. Maybe he’d lost interest in me and this was his excuse. Perhaps I was just bad at making out, or the way I’d handled him going down on me. I know it seemed irrational, but nothing else made sense.

  After locating my sheets, I pulled them up to my chin and looked at the ceiling wondering how I’d always ended up in the same situation. A single tear dropped from my eyes, and I began to sniffle.

  Then my door opened.

  Seth came walking back inside, locking the door behind him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a condom, holding it up as if it were a prize. “Sorry it took so long. It was in the bottom of the glove compartment.” He noticed the way the covers were pulled up. “Did you change your mind?”

  Using my feet, I kicked them down. “No, that’s not it.”

  Desperate for the connection, I patted the mattress beside me. Seth headed in my direction, dropping his pants before joining me under the covers. His kisses weren’t aggressive, but subtle and kind. He took his time caressing my skin, savoring the moment as if we had all of the time in the world.

  Even though I could still taste the liquor on his tongue, I cared less about it. It was very apparent that he being responsible had given me an extra bout of confidence. I felt like he was a good guy, and maybe, just possibly he’d want to see me again after this was all over. Seth could be my way in with improving my social life.

  This one-night-stand had serious potential.

  Being with a stranger, even if we’d talked for several hours before, had me worried. I’d never done this, albeit that casual sex was something that happened quite frequently with people my age. Maybe if I hadn’t been raised by my church-going, ten-commandment, abiding parents I’d have different morals. There again, my sister didn’t seem to have my struggles with fitting in and breaking rules, nor did my older brother Noah. Their free spirits made me envious, which was yet another reason why I was allowing this encounter to take place.

  As our kissing intensified, Seth’s hands explored my body. He’d already spent enough time between my legs that I felt more comfortable being naked in bed with him. I ran my fingers down his back as he sat up to apply protection. The crackle of the wrapper was another reminder of what was about to happen. When he turned to face me our eyes met. I wouldn’t call it a cosmic connection, but I absolutely knew we were both on the same page. My buzz had eased the nerves leaving me ready and willing.

  Seth started out on top of me, entering me with ease. I was already so wet between my legs that we didn’t need any more foreplay. My muscles were contracting in all of the right places each time he coursed in and out of me. He leaned forward to kiss me several times, and I found it reassuring to know that he cared enough to make sure that I didn’t think he was selfish.

  When we went to flip positions he slid back inside of me, but stopped to stare at my face. “You’re so beautiful.”

  I looked away as the heat rushed to my cheeks. “Thank you.”

  “I’m serious. You’re gorgeous. I knew when I saw you in class that I wanted to see you naked.” He laughed and brushed a strand of hair away from my face.

  “That’s a drunk statement.”

  “No,” he argued. “It’s not. I noticed you the first day of the semester. You wore this red shirt that said something across the chest. You had shorts with rips on the thighs and I couldn’t help but notice the skin it revealed. I wanted you to notice me, but you were too busy reading your syllabus to even notice me standing next to you.”

  I felt flattered, and a bit saddened. Perhaps we could have been friends before having to meet officially in a strip club. “Sorry. School is important to me. I guess you could call me a nerd.”

  “Na. I’ll stick with beautiful.” He leaned forward and kissed my lips slowly, seeming like he was savoring them. “Now, where were we?”

  As goose bumps covered the outside of my skin, new sensations filled my insides. His strides became faster as he pumped inside of me. Seth reached between us, rubbing hard against my clit. My own body began to twitch and shake as uncontrolled bouts of pleasure overwhelmed me. I knew he was enjoying seeing me lose control, because the next thing I knew he was holding me still and clenching up his face. When he finally relaxed he rolled us over to be lying side by side. “You okay?” He asked.

  I shrugged. “I’ve never had a one-night stand before. Honestly, I don’t know how I feel about it.”

  Seth rolled over on his back and looked up at the ceiling fan as he spoke. “I feel so good right now.” The bed was moving a bit, and I understood it was because he was removing the condom. I grabbed a napkin off of my nightstand that I’d been using for a coaster and handed it to him. After confiscating the used rubber, he turned to face me. Even with feeling uneasy over my actions, I managed to smile.

  “You know, it’s not a one-night-stand if it happens again.”

  “Are you asking me to sleep with you tomorrow?” It was a simple question.

  “That depends on your answer,” he teased.

  “I’ll probably say yes,” I taunted back.

  Shortly after that we both passed out. I didn’t know about Seth, but I for one couldn’t hold my liquor very well. After the buzz wore off I was left exhausted. Falling asleep was easy, so much so that I didn’t even care that a stranger was asleep in bed with me, locked in my room.

  My parents would have been so disappointed in me, but somehow I couldn’t stop smiling. All of the years they’d spent educating me on how to be the proper kind of lady had just gone to shit. It didn’t matter to me, because this was my chance to reinvent myself, and I was damn sure going to do it.

  Chapter 5

  Christian

  The early morning light illuminated the room even though I had the blinds closed. The reminder of what had happened last night was a muscular forearm draped over my chest. Considering that I was about to pee myself, I knew I had to free his limb without waking him.

  As slow as I could move I slid off the bed, almost tumbling to the hardwood floor. I crept out of the bedroom before I noticed any movement. Once inside the confines of the bathroom, I stared in the mirror at the person I wasn’t sure I knew anymore.

  It was true that I’d known exactly what I was doing with Seth. Even though I wanted it to happen, a part of me hated that I’d allowed myself to change in an effort to fit in. My red eyes were probably from the amount of alcohol I’d consumed, but I saw them as regret; a reminder of the lengths I was willing to go to seek acceptance. After brushing my teeth, and cleaning up a bit, I marched into my room prepared to face whatever came my way. I just didn’t expect it to be empty.

  Seth was gone, and even though I was clothed, I felt naked.

  The utter humiliation of knowing I’d slept with someone that didn’t even have the decency to say goodbye was devastating. I’d stooped to a whole new low, and been left to suffer the consequences. Just as my butt made contact with the mattress my bedroom door flew open. Becca rushed in, placing her hands on her hips even before she came to a halt in front of me. “What’s Seth Radcliff doing coming out of your room at the crack of dawn?”

  I shrugged and looked over at my furrowed sheets. Dismay was written all over my face. “Do I have to spell it out?” I said in an undertone.

  “Did you sleep with him?”

  Was she really that naive? “What do you think?” I may have been quiet, but I wasn’t blind. He was sexy, kissed with passion, and made me weak in the knees. From the moment we first touched I knew that I secretly wanted him.

  “Girl, don’t be surprised if you get a visit from Mila.”

  “Who’s that?”

  “His girlfriend, well, on again off again. They break up all of the time. As soon as Seth hooks up with someone new they have a huge blowout and then make up for a couple of weeks. When she finds out he slept with you she’s going to shit her drawers. There’s no way she can compete.”

  It was another nice compliment she’d paid me. I appreciated how it wasn’t about me looking like someone else to fit in. She was saying I was beautiful, and it meant so much to me that I forgot about the seriousness of the conversation for a few short moments.

  “I didn’t know he had a girlfriend.”

  “He doesn’t, technically. It’s so complicated. I should have mentioned it last night, but you were the last person I saw hooking up with a guy you just met. Clearly I have a lot to learn about you,” she teased.

  “I’m an open book, I can assure you. Last night was a mistake. I drank a lot, and so did Seth. Maybe he won’t tell anyone. I mean, he left without sayin’ goodbye, so I can only assume that I wasn’t anything to write home about.”

  “Seth’s not like that. He won’t stay quiet. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you need to be prepared, just in case. Hopefully it will all blow over in a couple of days.”

  Just as I started to reply I heard a phone ringing, and it wasn’t my normal tone. I shuffled through the sheets until I found an unfamiliar cellular device. It was obviously Seth’s.

  “Oh shit. That’s Seth’s phone isn’t it?”

  I nodded. “What should I do? It says that it’s Mike.”

  “Pick it up. It’s probably just Seth looking for his phone.”

  I did as she suggested and lifted the receiver to my ear. “Hello?”

  “Chris, it’s Seth. Can you meet me later so I can get my phone? I left it by accident.”

  The elephant in the room was obvious to me, even if it wasn’t meant to be. He wasn’t bringing up where he’d left it, or the fact that he’d left without saying goodbye. “Yeah, I guess.”

  The line was quiet for a second. “Do you think maybe we could study later together?”

  This caught me off guard. Did the popular man I’d just spent the night with really want to get behind a book with me? “Are you jokin’?”

  “No. Listen, I’m late for something, but I’ll call you later when I’m done.”

  “Okay,” was all I could say to him. I was still in shock, too flabbergasted to think about my actions.

  After the call ended I noticed that Becca was still standing in front of me. Her hands remained on her hips, while her brow was cocked. “I could hear what he asked you. Chris, you can’t see him again. I mean, we all like Seth, but he’s the kind of guy that’s too good to be true. I can assure you that you’re nothing but a rebound.”

  I didn’t care. I hadn’t been with him because it was love at first sight. Things like that only happen in novels. He’d gotten into my pants because I’d let him for selfish reasons. Love had nothing to do with our predicament. “I’m a grown woman, Becca. I’m not afraid of the competition. As for his ex, well she shouldn’t have let her man go if he meant that much to her.” I was risking a lot by standing up for myself, but I’d been around this girl long enough to say she appreciated a woman who stood her ground. I intended to remain in control, even when I didn’t dare have a clue what I was getting myself into. “Last night Seth and I had a great time. Who knows if somethin’ will come out of it. He’s sexy and all, but I’m not about to get carried away like it’s some fairytale. We both know the probability of us becoming a real couple is slim to none. Before you get all judgmental I want to make it clear that it was the first one-night-stand I’ve ever had. As much as I enjoyed it, I don’t plan on making it a habit.”

  I watched the corner of her lip curl as a half-smile formed. “We’re goin’ to be great friends, you and I. It’s funny because when you moved in here I thought you were lame. I’m sorry for judging you. It’s quite obvious you’re a woman who knows what she wants. We could all learn something from you.”

  I wanted to laugh. If she only knew that I was shaking as we spoke, in fear of being called a liar, or someone who didn’t have a clue about standing up for herself. “I wouldn’t go that far. I’m just a quiet girl tryin’ to make new friends. Thanks, by the way, for taking me out last night. It was a great time.”

  “Amber really likes you. It’s funny. She’s one of Seth’s go-to girls when he and his girlfriend are on the outs. I’m surprised you two hit it off so well. She’s been crazy about Seth for years.”

  It was discerning hearing that Amber secretly had a thing for the guy I’d just spent the night with. She hadn’t brought it up, but neither had he. If I wanted to be accepted by all these people I couldn’t freak out, at least until Becca left the room.

  Then I wondered if she was testing me. Perhaps her queries were more on an insight as to what type of friend I’d be. “I wish she would have told me that. She must be so pissed at me.”