His hunger was apparent. He rubbed the base of my pussy before slipping his fingers in between my folds.

  Jake’s voice rumbled against my skin when he kissed his way down my abdomen. After the kisses stopped I knew what was next. I licked my lips and closed my eyes, preparing for what it would be like if he tasted me.

  “You’re so fucking wet, Reese.” He had to clear his voice. A thumb began circling around my clit, causing me to buck. “You smell so sexy.” As he lowered his face, I noticed his eyes were heavy, like he was drunk. The idea of him being intoxicated with lust was invigorating. Then it happened. I felt him dragging his chin over my pussy. His scruffy whiskers sent me into a frenzy. I couldn’t contain the waves of pleasure that occurred the moment his tongue began lapping over my clit. I dug both hands into his hair, taking a hold and guiding him to continue. He kept working his tongue like it was machine, putting pressure on my most sensitive spot. My head fell back as euphoria took over. With each lick I was losing control. Jake knew it too. He worked harder, making sure to not let up. In a matter of minutes I was crying out, my pussy throbbing like a heartbeat.

  Jake kissed away my juices on my inner thighs. I bit down on my lip while watching him coming up to face me. He pressed his mouth over mine. The smell and taste of myself turned me on more. I clung to his skin, letting him know that I wasn’t going to back down.

  He flipped us over, and I tangled my legs with his. His stiff erection pressed against my entrance, beckoning to be let inside. I rocked my body around, only to feel his hands taking hold of my ass cheeks. He steadied my pace and watched my breast as they bobbled around. “Did I make you feel good?”

  “You still are,” I moaned.

  “Oh yeah?” I could sense a bit of cockiness in his tone. “Show me how much you want me, Reese.”

  I leaned forward and kissed him before lowering my body down to be face to face with his swollen package. Without hands, I captured him with my lips, taking him fully into my mouth. I lifted my head forward and then back down, using my saliva for lubrication. Jake played with my hair while I grabbed his length and began jerking him off. My lips surrounded the tip of his shaft, taking it as far as I was able to without gagging. I wanted to be great at it, because he deserved just as much pleasure as he’d just given me. His smooth cock was rock hard, making my job easy. I removed my mouth and used my tongue to lick the entirety of his thick shaft. I let my hand slide down to fondle his tender balls. While preparing to suck him some more, he pulled me back up to face him. “I don’t want to cum yet.”

  Our next kiss was slow, like we had all the time in the world. I savored every second of it, imagining what it would be like if I never had the chance to do it again. It saddened me so much that I positioned my body over his shaft, knowing that I wasn’t backing down. I wanted this man to enter me; to fill me with raw emotion, and never let go.

  Jake reached down and played with my pussy. It was obvious that I was ready and willing, though he seemed to pause for his own personal reasons. “I’ve wanted this since we first met. I know I’ve probably ruined our lives, but I want you to know that every minute with you is worth it. I meant what I said, Reese. I’m in love with you.” In that exact moment I felt him sliding inside of me. Tears filled my eyes, not because I was sad, but more that I was overwhelmed with passion. He was giving me his heart, and all I could do was savor every moment of it.

  Jake moved with a slow groove, pausing every once in a while so he didn’t ejaculate too soon. He wanted it to last as long as possible, and so did I. With every stroke I got butterflies from my toes to my nipples. I never knew that an orgasm could continue, but he was proving it to be true. We switched positions several times, settling with him on top of me. His eyes stayed fixed on mine, giving me a sense of security.

  When he knew he was close he started rubbing my clit again in a circular pattern. I lost control, bucking my body as I succumbed to the pleasure. Then I felt it; him losing control while still inside of me.

  For a while we laid there in each other’s arms, kissing every once in a while. Then we fell asleep, still tangled together. It was beautiful, maybe the most meaningful encounter I’d ever had in my life. For the moment I was in heaven. I think we both were. As I drifted off to sleep my last thoughts were of Jax, and what all of this meant to my relationship with him.

  It was obvious that I had feelings for Jake, and they were much stronger than I’d originally thought. Being with him had significantly proven it. I knew being with him was life changing, but I couldn’t have prepared myself for what it was going to feel like. It made me question everything about mine and Jax’s relationship, especially if we were together for all the wrong reasons.

  I did love him, my heart broke inside for what I’d just done, but I was also awakened to feelings I couldn’t quite grasp. I’d always been the one person to loathe cheaters, yet I’d now done it myself. Whether my reasons were worthy enough I’d probably never know. At the moment I was too entangled to imagine that something horrible would come of the most beautiful thing I’d ever experienced. Now I was going to have to make a decision, and no matter what it was, someone would be destroyed.

  Chapter 12

  Jake

  I awoke some time later immediately realizing there was a body on top of me. As if that weren’t enough, I was still inside of her. The idea of it immediately made my dick begin to grow. I didn’t want to wiggle around, because I knew it would only intensify the predicament.

  While she rested against my chest, I stared at the ceiling, praying to God I hadn’t ruined my life, and the love of my brother. I never meant for this to happen with Reese. Yes, I’d reached a breaking point and done it anyway, but how much more could I take? I felt like if we didn’t make love while we were at the cabin alone, it would happen somewhere else where we’d be in danger of being caught. I couldn’t risk that.

  I was already a horrible person, and it was only a matter of time before everyone knew. I promised Reese that I’d keep it a secret, but as soon as I saw my brother I was going to break. She was worth fighting for. What we’d shared was indescribable. For so long thoughts of her consumed me. To be able to grasp it, hold her in my arms, and satiate all her desires, I didn’t want to picture never having that again.

  I was selfish, and my brother was directly in the path of my destruction. How I’d let myself get to this point was frustrating enough, but to know the consequences of my actions, and how many people would be damaged by it, most of them the closest ones to my heart.

  I didn’t mean to get emotional. It definitely wasn’t the time or place. I wasn’t a crier, and I certainly didn’t show this side of me to many people, but there I was feeling a warm batch of tears falling down the sides of my face, while I held the only woman I’d ever loved. How does one survive from something like is? There isn’t a handbook guiding my way to righteousness, unless I wanted to decipher the bible, and hope that God would have mercy on me.

  I’m sure my body shaking is what woke her. Reese lifted up her head and looked into my eyes, seeing how distraught I was. I tried to look away, but like I said before, I was still inside of her, now hard, and vulnerable. She lifted her hand and touched my face. I almost couldn’t stand it. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Reese. I should have fought this.”

  She began to share in my sentiment by scrunching up her face. I watched her lips quivering as she lost it on top of me. “What have we done?” She whispered in between tears.

  I pulled her close, because it was the only decent thing I could think of doing. “I don’t know what to do now. I fucked up my whole life, but I can’t regret a single moment I’ve spent here with you.” We looked at each other, both so emotional it was hard to bear. “I ruined our lives.”

  She leaned forward and kissed me, holding her lips against mine while we both cried. It was a pivotal moment for the both of us, to be on the same page with guilt. We may have been young, but both of us knew how wrong this was.

  When Reese pulled away she attempted to smile, but failed terribly. “I’ll break up with Jax.”

  I sat us both up, holding her on my lap. “You can’t do that. He’s crazy about you.”

  She cupped my face with her hands. “Jesus, Jake, look at where we are. I can’t face him and not think of this. Even if I waited, it would tear me apart inside. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m confused about a lot of things. I need to be able to wrap my head around everything before I can put the pieces back together.”

  I understood, really I did, but hearing her words crushed me. I wanted this day to be perfect. I needed to feel like she loved me back, just for the temporary high it gave me. It was as if she was admitting this was a huge mistake, without actually saying the words.

  I began to sob like a baby, feeling as if my only way out of this was something drastic. “I’m sorry there’s two of us, Reese. You don’t know how sorry I am about it.”

  “Please don’t cry, Jake. I can’t handle seeing you this sad. I’m just so messed up.”

  “Reese, no matter how you feel, I’m equally as fucked up. Don’t you get it? For once I let my heart lead the way. I got to be with you, even if it was short-lived, I still got to experience what it was like to be with the woman I’m in love with. I get that you don’t feel the same way about me, but I wanted it anyway. This is my burden. I have to live with this for the rest of my life. Because of what I’ve done I’m going to lose my best friend; my brother, who I’ve spent my entire life sharing everything with. I’m not worried about him beating my ass. Hell, I deserve it. I’ll stand there and take it like a guilty man. I’m worried about never having him by my side. As much as I feel for you, he’s been my one solid my whole life. It’s impossible to choose between you and not hurt.”

  “I wouldn’t be this messed up if I didn’t feel something intense for you, Jake. Two people made love on this rug. It wasn’t just you.”

  Although her comment was a breath of fresh air, I still couldn’t get past the hurt that was about to happen to my brother.

  I took both of her arms and started moving her off of me, hard or not, I knew our time was over.

  Reese locked her legs so I couldn’t budge her. “No!”

  “It’s over, Reese. I can’t do this anymore. No matter how much I want you, I can’t have you forever. I’ve got to let you go.”

  She sat there on top of me, staring, with nothing but determination in her eyes. “If this is all we have; if this day is the last time we’ll ever be like this, please don’t push me away. I don’t want this to be over.” I watched her break down again, burying her head in my chest. My arms that once fought to push her away, were now wrapping around her back, holding her tight.

  “Please don’t cry. I hate that I’m hurting you.”

  Her hands were flat on my back, refusing to let go. I suppose she was afraid I’d try to get up again. “I let down my walls and allowed myself to feel this with you. As much as I’m hurting right now, I can’t let you end things this way; not when we both know it isn’t what we want.”

  She had me there. As terrible as it was, I didn’t want to let go. We kissed slowly, holding on to it as if it were our last embrace. Our tears meshed together while we continued using our emotions to guide us.

  With little effort she moved her body gradually, awakening my arousal. How could I resist what was there for the taking? How could I refuse what was already happening?

  My arms slid down to hold onto to her supple ass, helping to guide her into a good pace. The harder I became the better it felt. Once again we were in sync, playing our pain into this taboo affair.

  Reese moved faster on top of me. Her breasts bounced around, grabbing my attention fully. It was difficult to not reach up and hold them in place. When I did it she leaned back to allow me room to converge. Her nipple, so hard, was easy to suck between my lips. I kept pulling, using force that I’d learned she liked. Her hips started grinding vigorously. I looked down, focusing on the way her pussy accepted my engorged cock.

  Our lips met for a kiss that blew all the other ones away. It was impossible to imagine that being with her again was better than the first time. Being with Reese wasn’t like experiencing a woman for the first time. I felt like I knew where she wanted to be touched, and she certainly paid it forward when it came to finding my hot spots.

  I could feel her walls contracting as her body stiffened and lost control. Her kiss was ravenous as she succumbed to being overwhelmed with an orgasm. “Oh my god, mmm, it feels so good,” she said against my mouth.

  Hearing those words heightened my arousal to a breaking point. As I clung to her body to halt movement, my veins started popping out on my arms. The sensations were too hard to control. I was used up, but still motivated. I filled her with my load, knowing darn well I’d never be able to let someone like her go.

  “Damn. That was … intense.”

  She nestled her body close to mine, resting her head under my chin. “Hold me, Jake. Please don’t let me go. I feel like if we get up from this spot it’s all over. I’m not ready to say goodbye to this.”

  I closed my eyes and kissed the top of her head. “It can’t last forever, babe. I don’t deserve something so good.”

  She backed away to make sure she could see me when her next words came out. “Neither do I, not anymore. I’m just as accountable for this. That’s why I know I need to end things with your brother.”

  “Damn it, Reese. We talked about this already.”

  “Yeah, we did, but it’s not your choice to make. I’m not a cheater. What’s happening between us has only proven that my love for your brother isn’t as strong as I thought. How else do you explain me finding it so easy to be with you? For months you’ve fought me, forcing me to work harder to break you. Maybe neither of us realized what was happening, but I can’t deny it. Whatever I’m feeling isn’t infatuation. We’ve known each other too long for it to be that. Being with you, sharing this moment, it’s so deep, and it’s real.”

  “Jax makes you happy. You’ll think differently when we’re home.”

  “No, I think I know what it is already. I think I understand why a part of me loves both of you.”

  I didn’t want to hear this, yet I couldn’t stop listening. “Don’t say you love me, Reese. I’m not looking for your pity. I’ve treated you like shit for too long.”

  “I don’t pity you, but you need to hear me out. You’re right, I do love Jax. I love that no matter what my mood is he can make me laugh. He brightens my day, and knows how to make things interesting at night.”

  It made me feel uncomfortable to be holding her and hearing about my brother’s qualities.

  “But you’re something else, Jake. When I’m with you I can tell you anything. We don’t have to argue about television shows, or common interests, because we have the same tastes. We share values, and when we’re together, like this, I feel as if I’m whole. When we kiss there’s no one taking the lead, because we’re in sync.” She laced her fingers with mine and focused on my stare, while she brought one up to sit on my chest at my heart. “When we make love your heart radiates through mine. It’s beautiful. I get lost in it, to the point where I don’t want to let go. How can I fight something that’s so powerful? You feel it too. I know you do.”

  “Yeah, but it changes nothing. Lots of people have things in common.”

  “Jake.” Her fingers traced over my lips. She remembered how much that made me crazy. “I’m too confused to make a choice, but I know I can’t stay with your brother. You’re right. When we go home things will change. It won’t just be us, but I know myself enough to not deny what I’m feeling being here with you.”

  I swallowed my pride, cupping her face and said what I needed to. “I agree with what you’re saying, but it’s not going to work out. This ends here, Reese. You and I will never be together. Even if I could have you, I wouldn’t allow it. He’s my brother. Nothing will ever change that, not even you.”

  For the first time in hours I separated us and walked across the room, leaving her alone. I could hear her crying. I knew I’d crushed her heart. It was the only way I could make things right. Yeah, she needed to make a decision about Jax, but I wouldn’t be the reason. I wasn’t going to be the person she ran to when they were done. I’d caused enough grief. My love for her wasn’t going to disappear, but my hope of us ever being a couple was diminished. We were doomed from the start.

  It was never going to happen, so all I could do was put a wall up and push her away.

  Chapter 13

  Reese

  I sat there on the very rug we’d made love on and watched him stand with his back to me, staring out the glass windows as if he hadn’t broken my heart. I knew I couldn’t expect him to understand. Most of what I was saying was hard for me to fathom. How could he accept that I could feel something deeply for both of them?

  When he refused me I knew I couldn’t push the issue. He was right about a lot of things. At the end of the day his family meant everything. The only thing I could do to make things better was to remove myself from the equation altogether. I couldn’t be the reason for the two men most important to me to hate each other. That would be the nail in my coffin.

  While he remained standing at the window, I gathered my clothes and headed up the stairs. I knew he’d hear the bedroom door closing, but I doubted he’d come after me. He’d said those things to hurt me; to push me away. I wasn’t a fool. In some ways I was angry at him, but I knew his brave face wasn’t without much pain. I felt terrible, but didn’t know a way for any of it to work out.

  It stopped snowing around noon. I stayed in bed, watching the snow drip from the roof out the window. There wasn’t any sign of movement from downstairs, and I was too afraid of what I’d find if I opened the door. We needed to stay away from each other. It was necessary to distance ourselves until the ride home, and even then I didn’t know if I could look at him without losing it.