“She’d want you to be happy.”

  I traced her bottom lip with my thumb. “That’s just it, Iz. I know she’d want that. The question is whether this is going to end once we go home. Is this the start of something new, or just a one-time thing, because I’m going to be honest with you. I don’t think I can be with you one time and be happy.”

  She sat up on her elbows and I backed off the bed to kneel in front of her. I could tell she was thinking about what to say. “I don’t have an answer to that. Up until today I would have told you that you’d be the last person on earth I’d want to sleep with. Contrary to my first impressions of you, I’ve learned that I never really knew the real you at all. Somethin’ changed between us today. I’m not goin’ to even try to deny it. Kissin’ you feels so good, and I’d like to continue, but I don’t know what will happen when we get home. My cousin’s a big problem, and I don’t want you to lose your job.”

  “You really think he’d fire me?”

  She shrugged. “I think that once the family finds out I’m pregnant they’re goin’ to have a real problem with me sleepin’ with the help. No offense. They obviously don’t know the real you, and since you don’t want to share it with them, I can’t see this workin’ out.”

  She was right. The truth hurt.

  Still, I wasn’t ready to let the whole world know who I used to be.

  “And don’t even get me started on my dad and brothers. They like to be in control of everything I do.”

  I traced my fingers over one of her knees. “So we should probably just stop while we’re ahead then?”

  She leaned forward, inching her mouth to touch mine. Her kiss was so gentle. “Probably.”

  Had I been in control of my sex drive I probably would have handle things much differently. My body was reacting to hers before my mind could catch up. I had to continue kissing those soft lips.

  When her arms reached around my neck, I was immediately pulled back down onto the bed. My hands traveled up to her loose t-shirt, inching their way to touch one of her soft breasts. I was taken back when it finally coursed over the nipple, feeling that hard bud beneath my fingertips. She pulled me closer, kissing me harder. I began holding my breath to prevent from pulling away from her.

  As the petting intensified, so did my increased need to feel her bare skin. Before I could lift up her shirt, she was doing it for me, sitting up and pulling it over her head. I’d imagined what this moment would be like. There’d been so many nights when I’d thought about getting her naked; many nights where I’d relieved myself thinking about an encounter just like this.

  Isabella reached down and touched both of her breasts, using her manicured fingernails to pinch the nipples.

  A sudden spark hit my dick, awakening a deep desire that I’d locked up to prevent from feeling. I watched her top lip dragging over her bottom, leaving a trail of glistening saliva as it moved. My need to kiss her only increased when she reached her hand down into her shorts and moved it up and down. Her eyes closed, and I knew exactly what she was doing, even before she said it. “I want you to want me, Rusty. I want to feel needed.”

  I pulled her off the bed making her stand up. She looked directly into my eyes as I ripped her hand out from inside of her shorts. Her confusion was short lived when I tugged down on them. To my surprise she’d not only gone without a bra, but her underwear as well. My mouth watered as I crouched down to be face to face with her pussy. Just as my hand brushed over the shaved skin, I looked up to see her watching me. The expression on her face let me know that she wasn’t about to refuse me. I inched my way forward, smelling her fresh skin before grazing my lips over it. She dug her hands into my hair, not to guide me but to hold on to something while she closed her eyes.

  I couldn’t believe this was happening; that I was here with her in this room, alone and unclothed. I’d dreamed of this moment.

  My focus went back to the task at hand. While my throbbing cock continued to beckon, I licked that sweet spot for the very first time. She let out a soft moan as I continued, letting my moist muscle slide in between her folds until it reached her clit. I sucked it in between my teeth and tugged, listening to her body reacting to me.

  It was hard for me to stay focused, knowing that at any second I was going to prematurely lose it in my shorts. I lapped her pussy up again, over and over, sucking and flicking her clit with my tongue until she began to cry out. Even still, I kept going, wanting nothing more than to bring her pleasure for awakening a dead part of me again.

  Isabella became weak in the knees and let her ass fall down on the mattress. I craved more of her pussy and put her legs up high for her to hold. I gave her a final stare before diving in again. The taste of her filled my mouth, and I savored it as if it were the best flavor in the world.

  For the first time since the day I lost my wife I felt whole again. It was as if this connection was bringing me back to life. When her body began to crash again, I pulled away, kissing the inner part of her thighs, before looking up to see her expression. She played with my hair and let out a deep laugh. “Wow. That was intense.”

  I showered her with tiny kisses until our lips met. She pulled away, shocked from tasting herself. This got to me, making me realize that she’d been with one person since high school. Her experience was limited, which meant that I could show her things she couldn’t imagine existed. I could make her feel like no other man ever had before.

  The knowledge of that excited me more. To be able to bring her to the brink of ecstasy repeatedly was an unimaginable high. Isabella flipped us around. I grabbed her fingers and intertwined ours together. It was something that I used to do with my wife, and even though I wasn’t trying to think about being with her again, little details kept occurring. I must have only closed my eyes for a second, but it was enough for her to read that something was wrong. She released her hands and sat on top of me with worried eyes. “What just happened?”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Do you want to stop? We can, if that’s what you need to do.”

  I shook my head immediately, before she even stopped talking. “No. This is where I want to be, here with you. Didn’t I just prove that to you? Do you have any idea how many nights I’ve thought about being like this with you?”

  She slid over to the side of the bed. “It’s not that. Rusty, right now I want to be with you too, but we can’t do this today. You and I both know we need to stop while we’re ahead.”

  She was right.

  This encounter was only happening because we were both so emotional. Had I lost my shit we never would have ended up remotely near each other. It was a sad truth. I backed away from her, distancing myself from being able to touch her beautiful body in any way. “You’re absolutely right. I can’t let this happen in a shitty hotel room.” I reached my hand out and touched one of hers. “What just happened between us is only the beginning. I have to believe that. What you felt is just a

  piece of what I have to offer you, when the time is right.” I stood up and looked down at her still body. “If you don’t mind, I’m just going to go take a cold shower, because if I have to look at that amazing body for one more second all bets are going to be off.”

  I didn’t wait for her to argue with me, and I knew she would because she was famous for getting the last word in edgewise. This decision had to stick, because if I wanted her to be with me, the reason couldn’t be that she felt sorry for me. This day was about saving her, and I’d done that. Sure, we’d almost made love, and one day I hoped we still would. At least I got to find out what it felt like to kiss her, and to know what it felt like to give her pleasure. At the end of this awful day, it was at least something to smile about.

  Chapter 15

  Isabella

  Confusion wasn’t my best attribute. I was trying so hard to rationalize with what had taken place in the past hour and I couldn’t even begin to understand how I’d gone from hating someone, to craving his touch.

  I was able to accept that my judgment had been blurred in light of learning about Rusty’s heartbreaking past. I knew it was too late for any meaningful condolences, but longed to give him some kind of hope that he could live again. From the moment his lips touched mine for the first time, I knew that being with him physically would prove dangerous for both of us. In that instant I was willing to overlook my set boundaries and do what my body was telling me to do.

  Unfortunately, there are consequences to every premature decision, mine being the fact that I hadn’t considered what would happen between the two of us from that point on. The thought of alluding my family filled my mind, as I desperately clung on to the way this man had made me feel. I knew I wouldn’t be able to deny our connection, whether it be for the sake of both of us getting some kind of emotional release, or something more than that. All I knew was that us stopping wasn’t what I had wanted.

  While Rusty showered, I leaned over and lifted his wallet out of his pants. I wanted to see a picture of his family again, and observe the uncanny resemblance I had to his two girls. Sure, our hair was around the same color, and they both seemed to have green eyes, but that was it. What bothered me so much was knowing that all along Rusty had found interest in me because of this resemblance. It only made me think that our connection was superficial at best. Obviously it wasn’t me he was after, but some remnant of his late wife.

  I closed the wallet and put it back in his pants before the water stopped running in the shower. By the time the door opened, I tucked myself under the covers of my own bed. He entered the room in only a towel, holding it close to his hip as he set down on the edge of my bed. “Are you okay, Isabella?”

  “Yeah. I’m fine,” I lied, knowing that I was more confused than ever before. Then I knew what I wanted. Seeing him so close to me, knowing that his arms brought me so much comfort, I knew exactly what I needed. “Lay with me tonight. Please. I just want to hold you.”

  He never removed the towel until he was under the covers beside me. A part of me felt the need to put my clothes back on, but we’d already been there and experienced that. I had nothing to hide from this man, and longed to be close to him.

  We lay side by side for a while, staring into each other’s eyes. In so many ways it was like we were having a silent conversation, sharing all of our emotions while doing nothing at all. I’d never connected on this type of level, and didn’t know if it would ever be like this again. Rusty reached over and stroked my hair. He smiled and leaned over to kiss my forehead. “You make me want to live again.”

  I’d never had so much sentiment on my shoulders before. This broken man found contentment in being around me. I couldn’t deny him that, nor refute my own growing desire to be with him.

  My hand stretched to connect with his scruffy cheek. The palms coursed over his skin while I watched the lids of his eyes slowly closing. He leaned into my touch, accepting the comfort. “Kiss me.”

  Our lips united, sending waves of delight through every inch of my body. Quickly I responded to the way his tongue matched mine. I climbed up and straddled his body, feeling his growing erection beneath me. In an immediate comeback, I began to rock forward, meeting his welcoming mouth for more of what was fueling me to need more. Our tongues blended, while his hands came up and possessed my hips. As they continued traveling up I realized that we were instantly right back in the same place as before. He traced the Mitchell tattoo that was written vertically on the left side of my ribs. It tickled there, feeling him so close to the underneath of my breasts. A time out had only heightened my hunger for this sensitive man, and thankfully he wasn’t persuading me to stop again.

  My lips trailed over his, while words began coming out; words I knew would take us to the next level. “Make love to me.”

  He reached up, running his full hands over both of my breasts. I kept moving around, letting him know I was ready and willing. Everything I was experiencing, all of my emotions were fading with the new revelation of becoming one with this man. He sat up, switching our positions so that he was lingering over top of me. Our eyes convened, and I could sense the deprivation that he’d been living with for so long. He needed this more than I did, not that it was a competition. We both had issues that had brought us together, that was no secret.

  Gentle kisses trailed over my body, and his hand traveling over my most sensitive of areas, while I patiently accepted him getting familiar with every inch of me. I may not have asked to find someone new, but he was lying on top of me, offering to make me forget, even if only for a little while. His hand swept over my sex, and I watched a smile forming in the corner of his mouth. “You’re so warm, and I can’t get the way you taste out of my mind.”

  Waves of sensitive tingles rushed through me, hardening my nipples and giving me butterflies in my stomach. I was about to be with a real man, someone older, who knew exactly what he was doing. The idea of it all was frightening, but electrifying at the same time. I accepted his mouth as he came down to kiss me again. Our tongues met, and as the pattern of our movements increased, I understood his hunger was only intensifying.

  I reached down, prepared to stroke his cock with my own hands, but he stopped me, replacing mine with his own. With one swift undertaking he toyed with my entrance, gliding his stiffness over it. I nodded, silently letting him know that it’s what I desired. “Are you sure you want this? If you’d rather me hold you, I’ll do it.”

  “Stop givin’ me choices. I told you what I want,” I whispered.

  My body beckoned to be filled, and slowly it happened. Rusty never moved his lips far from mine as he started to enter me. I watched him closing his eyes, appearing to have been swept away by something he hadn’t felt in so long. I noticed him trembling even before he was fully inside. My arms wrapped around his back, as I prepared to keep him as close as possible. This wasn’t like a quickie, or just regular sex. I wanted to experience all of him; to share his pleasure, and his pain.

  He leaned his forehead on mine, and stopping moving the lower part of his body as he spoke. “I’m sorry. I need to take my time with you, but I’m afraid I may not last that long. It’s been years since I’ve felt this.”

  I reached my mouth to his and sucked on his bottom lip. It was easy to reciprocate my affections, knowing that I welcomed whatever he was offering. I didn’t care if he lasted ten seconds, or ten hours. I’d never experienced such emotion with sex, and knew it wasn’t all about intercourse. There was something deeper between us, and I felt it necessary to explore every aspect of it.

  Our first encounter didn’t last very long. Rusty pulled out of me, refusing to finish inside, even though we both knew I couldn’t get pregnant from this encounter. However, hours later when we woke in each other’s arms, he wasn’t so concerned. He fulfilled me, taking me to heights, and then held me afterwards, placing sensual kisses over my body. The chemistry between us was undeniable, and I realized early on that this thing wasn’t going to end when we got home. Pregnant or not, Rusty wanted to be with me. We’d talked about it while lying naked together in bed. The comfort of his touch let me know that I didn’t have to be alone. Whether we were friends, or remained lovers, he wanted be around. In a perfect world I would have loved to go home and announce to everyone that we were going to be a couple. In that same world they’d accept us, and the fact that I was carrying my ex- boyfriend’s child. I wasn’t living in that perfect world though.

  As the sun rose I lie awake watching Rusty sleep. He seemed so peaceful, and I appreciated what we’d shared. It almost made me wonder how I was going to be able to see him every day, without anyone finding out that I’d be reminiscing on the night we’d shared. When the time was right I’d tell the family about the baby, but didn’t know how Rusty would fit into it all. They weren’t going to be happy with me, so I couldn’t spring both things on them, and expect acceptance. It literally wasn’t feasible.

  A low snore came out of his mouth as he slept so close to me. I ran my fingers over his lips, smiling when he never opened his eyes. He seemed so peaceful, reminding me that I was the reason for it. It only made me feel worse, because I knew I’d have to give him up.

  Since I’d planned on being off of work for an extra day anyway, I snuggled up closer to his hot body, and closed my eyes. In truth I knew I didn’t want to be anywhere else. Never in my adult life had I ever felt so comfortable before.

  Things were much different on the ride home. Instead of refusing to speak to him, and keeping my distance, I sat in the middle seat, with his arm wrapped around my shoulder. He let me sleep for most of the way, every once in a while kissing me on the head, reminding me of how sweet he was.

  It killed me that he didn’t want anyone to know the real him, because he truly was a wonderful soul. His secret was safe with me, no matter how many obstacles it caused me to go through. In the upcoming months I’d need his friendship, so no one, especially my cousin, was going to be able to find out about us. Knowing that hurt me so much, because it also reminded me that our time like this was about to end. I’d made my choice though, and there was nothing anyone could do to change it.

  Chapter 16

  Rusty

  It was funny how she felt like she was broken, but I was the one that needed all of the saving. Being with her,

  feeling her touch, it brought me back to life again. When we arrived back to Kentucky things didn’t go as I had assumed they would. It all started that first night when I stopped by to check on her. I’d dropped her off earlier to get her vehicle, and purposely took my time going back to the ranch so that we didn’t arrive at the same time. After checking in with Noah, and making sure that Titan, and my trailer, were all the way I left them, I snuck over to visit Isabella. I’d gone for a few hours without seeing her, and already was feeling as if it had been too long.

  It was hard to not think about the night before, and how she’d finally been in my arms. I think I’d deprived myself for such a long amount of time that I’d forgotten how to control these types of emotions. I definitely wasn’t mad that they were happening. For so long I’d waited for her to notice me; to give me a chance to know her better.